Chronic Pain and parenting

[Niyama]

Heya,

I'm new to these boards, and I'm mum of a 21 month old. I've had a (daily) chronic pain condition for 20 years now, (also diagnosed as bipolar, though I'm not sure how helpful or appropriate that label is for me). Knew it would be tough being a mum but not sure I anticiapated just quite how tough!

I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there struggling with physical pain, depression and/or extreme tiredness that would be willing to share some of your experience?! Would especially love to hear hear from anyone who feels things have improved for them a little, to help with my hfeelings of hope for the future! Think I might find reading some of the ME/chronic fatige threads helpful as I share quite a few of their symptoms.

With thanks

Hi there

I have a major spinal problem and struggle to walk - I use a stick and a wheelchair when I go out and on a normal day I am only upright for 3-4 hours/day i.e. to do the school run when I can, cook tea for the kids and cook dinner for the husband. The problem was actually caused by pregnancy and hopefully, at some point they will fix it but at the moment I take a lot of drugs every day to try and keep the pain under control. Sadly I struggle to sleep (hence posting this in the middle of the night due to pain) and I get about 4-5 hours of sleep on average a night - tonight I am hoping for 2 hours!! That's the bad bit.
The good bit though are my children, two boys aged 4 and 6 - I can't tell you how wonderful, helpful and adaptable children are and it does get easier, I promise. We have adapted every game to allow me to play whilst laying down, even trampolining when we play Simon Says instead of me being on there with them. We play loads of board games and remote control car games, everything really. And, they really help me by fetching and carrying, bringing me my drugs, a drink, food, everything. In the morning when I struggle to get moving, they get themselves dressed for school and give themselves breakfast - brilliant. They are proud to help and they get rewarded with marbles in a jar and when it is full we have a big family treat.

The biggest battle I have is to keep my mind sane, so I ride my horse whenever I can - it takes a lot of drugs including morphine, but who cares at least it stops me from going completely mad and it is all my time - something for myself to focus on and enjoy. Yes, I have bad days - I call them "cliff jumping" days, but then I always think tomorrow will be a better day.

All I can say is chin-up (which I know won't really help) and as your child gets a little older, the pleasure they can give you is supreme and keeps you going. Also, try and set aside a little "me time" - my Health Visitor used to say to me when I had post natal depression, "Be kind to yourself" and these were very wise words.

Keep going and stay positive!

Hi
I too suffer from chronic pain, I have a 2 year old. I have sent a message to your inbox. Some very wise words from HolidayMummy there as well thank you.

Thank you both so much for your messages, I was really moved by them both. Touched you shared your experiences with me, and grateful for the reminder to focus on the good stuff, and the reassurance that it does get a little easier. knowing I'm not alone too really helps, I'm sure I will re-read both you messages when I need a reminder (must remember to do that!)

So thank you again for the inspiration, and for getting through yourselves!

x