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Parenting

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Original poster

What do you do when your baby is wide awake at 3am.....

20 replies

ladylush · 18/01/2011 20:23

......and thinks it's reasonable that you get up and join her for a chat (i.e. unreasonable to ignore her and leave her to talk on her own and unreasonable to go in to her room, say "shush" and expect her to self-settle). Only I'd quite like to not be held to ransome by an 18 month old TIA

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aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 18/01/2011 20:48

Well our's is 4am and by a 17week old.

We co-sleep so I just leave him chatting away to the curtains. I'm not sure what they're talking about but he sure finds it hilarious.

Not sure what you can do about your dd though although it does sound very cute.

Beamur · 18/01/2011 20:49

I can recall taking her downstairs to play, while I reclined on the sofa and surrounded her with toys!

Original poster

ladylush · 18/01/2011 20:51

Gosh 17 weeks An early talker

Yes - dh took her downstairs in the end and eventually she became sleepy. We are both totally knackered now though.

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Original poster

ladylush · 18/01/2011 20:54

Excuse my typo - I mean ransom

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aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 18/01/2011 20:57

Well obviously not proper words lol.

Babbling away I should have said.

Although the way he's going I won't be surprised if he started talking properly before his 21month old brother. This kid don't shut up.

Original poster

ladylush · 18/01/2011 22:32

But still - babbling at that age is pretty impressive
Before we gave up last night and she went downstairs with dh, I tried bringing her into our bed and she thought it was the most exciting thing ever. She kept craning her neck, leaning over me to look at dh saying "Dad....Dad.......Dad" really loudly. Then when we said "Shush" she copied us Oh I can laugh now but at 3-5am this morning I was not a happy bunny!

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 18/01/2011 22:38

ladylush they are so cute at that age, really hard to be firm when you just want to give them great big hugs and kisses

With DS, one of us would just go and sit in his room in the dark. No lights on, nothing interesting happening. Every time he sat up or spoke we would just say 'shush', or 'sleepytime DS' or something similar. After a few nights it would stop (until the next time) but he did get the message and was sleeping through reliably from just before his 2nd birthday.
Now when I go and check on him (he is 2.6) and cover him before I go to bed, he either doesn't wake at all or I get 'I am sleeping, goodbye' or something similarly hysterical

bluejeans · 18/01/2011 22:40

ohhh you have my sympathy - DD was like this. 10 years on she's still a night owl - bouncing on the bed when I try to get her off to bed and a nighthmare to get up for school in the morning - you have been warned!

Firawla · 18/01/2011 22:49

my 2 year old keeps doing this trying to get up so early, does my head in tbh, getting really sick of it cos it makes me so tired the next morning. if he wont stay in his i put him in my bed but if he keeps talking and waffling on, i've ended up just going to the sofa myself to get a bit of peace and quiet and just leave him in there talking to himself while dh snoring next to him. no way i am letting him get up at that time!

Original poster

ladylush · 18/01/2011 23:00

bluejeans don't tell me that - I want hopeful outcomes

I don't think sitting in dds room at night would work as she'd be most indignant if I just sat there without picking her up. She'd say "up" about 10 times then start crying if I ignored her.

Anyhow, I suppose I should go to bed and grab what sleep I can. Thanks for your posts - interesting to hear your stories

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LacksDaisies · 18/01/2011 23:06

bang my head off the wall wailing "why won't you sleep.....whyyyyyyyyy?"

but I'm guessing that's not helpful

DS2 is 26 months and shouts "downstairs, mummy, downstairs daddy" at the top of his voice. and as he shares a room with DD, sometimes we have no option but for DH to give in and remove him from the room. the tantrums are gettting worse if he doesn't get his own way though, so I would try and nip it in the bud now by being firm!

And he gets up for the day at 5.30

(ps tis daisybump as was...)

Beamur · 18/01/2011 23:06

Here's a hopeful outcome - mine grew out of it and now sleeps beautifully all night.

pamelamalcolm · 19/01/2011 02:34

I remember my son when he was only a month old and he will usually wake up every 3am, I would usually feed him then lay him in the crib and let him play. He'll go back to sleep at around 5am.

Original poster

ladylush · 20/01/2011 21:14

It seems to be a phase as she was sleeping beautifully before from about 6-6. I suppose I just want to ensure that I'm not reinforcing the behaviour. If I go in to her she wants me to pick her up. If not she cries louder. So I pick her up then try and put her down...she becomes almost inconsolable. Sometimes I leave her at this stage to see if she will self-settle. She doesn't so I go back in and sit on a chair in her room. She then either tries to chat to me or falls asleep. Either way, after a while I put her back in her cot. As soon as I leave the room she starts yelling.

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AngelDog · 20/01/2011 23:42

I lie in bed, pretend to sleep and let him roam around the bed / cot if happy, and cuddle him if not. After an hour and a half he'll get drowsy again and I can rock or feed him back to sleep. He sleeps in our room though.

There's some biological basis for the hour and a half - they wake up and their bodies are re-set to AWAKE, which usually is for 90 mins. (In DS's case, if I miss the 90 mins slot for getting him back off, he'll be up for another 90 mins ie. 3 hours total - but he can't settle himself).

It sounds like you're probably suffering from the 18 month sleep regression - sleep gets messed up in the run up to a big developmental spurt. My DS predictably wakes like this in every sleep regression except the current (13 month) one, as well as when he's overtired.

Previously good sleepers usually go back to being good sleepers without any help once the spurt is over. The advice is usually to do whatever it takes to get everyone as much sleep as possible now and worry about bad habits (if necessary) later.

More info on the regression here and here and here.

HTH

Original poster

ladylush · 21/01/2011 13:06

Thanks Angeldog - that is really helpful And it makes me feel more optimistic that it will get better. I sympathise with your situation as well. You'd think I'd know more about this having a 5yr old - but he was a consistently terrible sleeper - woke 5-6 times a night! I am 6 yrs older now and can't cope with sleepless nights any more

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Bumpsadaisie · 21/01/2011 13:20

I sympathise - my DD has never been the best sleeper, but from 14 to 18 months she was probably just waking up once to get her dummy back.

As soon as she turned 18 mths, oh dear ... She stands up in her cot, wide awake, wanting to get up. It can be 1, 2, 3 am - but always in the middle of the night ...

She's nearly 20 mths now and very slowly it is getting a little bit better - shes sleeping through one night then up the next, but perhaps only for an hour. Its coincided with total explosion in speech (I mean explosion - at 17 mths she had a few words and understood a few things, now she has hundreds of words, speaks in little sentences and understands pretty much any simple instruction you like).

She's started doing imaginitive play, looking after her "babby", running off down the lane exploring etc etc - its really like she has gone from baby to child in a month.

Fingers crossed she is coming out the other side of the 18-21 mth regression now!!

On the plus side, she is much more fun to be with now during the day, and I have tried to help her sleeping by making sure she gets up at a good time and gets lots of fresh air and stimulation.

Original poster

ladylush · 21/01/2011 13:36

Bumpsadaisie your dd sounds so adorable Yes, dd is good with language - esp considering her prematurity. She can say upwards of 50 words and understands much more. She's become much more insistent lately (or imperious as my mother likes to say!) about communicating something e.g. "look, bird over there" - gets cross if I don't look and keeps repeating it until I look! So perhaps this is a developmental thing. Off for some fresh air soon - she didn't get too much of that when we had the snow and ice so I've been trying to take her out each day since.

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AngelDog · 22/01/2011 15:02

I think babies' sleep gets messed up not just when they're working on a predictable developmental spurt (a 'sleep regression') but when they're doing their own bit of sudden development - e.g. crawling / standing / walking / talking. If you're really unfortunate you get both at once (and if you're extra unfortunate you get some teething thrown in there too ).

My DS isn't a very good sleeper (wakes 3-5 times a night even when not in a regression) but the long spells awake in the night always disappear on their own once the developmental spurt is over. :)

Original poster

ladylush · 26/01/2011 21:13

Ah interesting :-) Not for you though when you're desperate for sleep!
dd has been great lately - not waking up at all. I thought it was because she seemed to be dropping her morning nap but this seemed to only be on my days off last week and since I've resumed work she's been napping again in the morning. So it seems this phase is over - dreading the next :-)

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