Anger management strategies for parents?

[Iloveautumn]

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help.
My dh has a very short fuse and blows up very quickly with our kids - mostly the eldest who is 4.5.
He is never physically violent but shouts in quite a scary way.
He hates being like this and it's not nice for the kids or me.

Does anyone have any strategies for how to deal with uncontrollable anger?
Kids are 4.5, 2 and a baby.

Thank you!

Hi there, have you heard of the Triple P programme? You can get details from the website. It basically gets the parents to look at their behaviour and the effect it has on the kids' behaviour. Some councils run the course for free. I've just started it because I'm the same, I hate blowing up at the kids - being aware about it is the first step I think. It basically gets you to avoid getting into fall-outs in the first place, and having reasonable expectations of your children.
I am doing the course because I can recognise my own anger stemming from my parents and how they used to shout and hit us - they've taught me to react the same.
Good luck!

There might be an underlying reason, stress, unhappiness, etc. Maybe he needs to address that.

Hi,

I have a course this Saturday you may love to join, it's called A Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour and is a complete guide for todays modern parent on how to transform their children's behaviour and bring out the very best in their child.
Please see my website for details or contact me at [email protected] www.childbehaviourdirect.com
All the best :)

Thanks for all responses.

feeimcgee - I'll take a look at that programme, thank you. Dhs anger stems from his dad who was very angry too - at least dh is aware of the issue and wants to change. Good luck, hope you get your issues sorted.

dikkertjedap - yes, it is mostly because he has a stressful job, but that is not going to change in the short term so we have to find some ways to deal with things as they are.

ruth2262 - thanks, will take a look at website

Ask him to read "Why Love Matters." I have an outrageous temper, seriously awful, but I control it almost all the time around DS despite finding lack of sleep hugely stressful, along with a few other things, because I realised it was essential. Your DH presumably keeps his temper in check in the workplace and with you? So he can with kids, too, horrendously hard though it can be.

I tend to go and make a cup of tea and deep breathe. I used to run to do it when toddler DS went through a painful stage of kicking me in the face at nappy changes (thought he broke my nose, once...) but he truly has only ever seen me furiously angry maybe 4 times in 2 years, and none with him. The thought that you're laying down the chemicals that shape their brain development is a salutary one, really, I found. If your DH thinks his temper could cause them emotional harm, he'd stop and count to ten.