Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Please help me see Im not failing my child.

13 replies

Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 10:40

Hi, I think deep down I know Im not but need some reassureance!!!

DD started school in September. We went to see a support worker at the school last thursday who said she was struggling at school and they are concerned.

A bit of background first, will include everything so you guys can decided if itis relevant or not.
We also have issues with eating which we are trying to address and she has a lot of tantrums which are also dealt with ( she often hits me but this isnt condoned) ( I wonder if a lot of this is down to the speech issues though).

We moved back to the area 3 years ago after moving away for 2 years and I can honestly say I dont have many friends here anymore, All moved on since we moved away. I do work and talk to parents at school but doesnt seem to be coming of anything. No groups really for me to join and all groups for her are in school hours and she is nearly too old for. we do have family round here though which she sees regulaly and we leave with her Dad.

Ok, to what we are doing, have booked appointment at gps as support worker suggested this, finally got hold of speech therapy again, do what I put in earlier, she has children from school to play on days when Im not worked sometimes, only had one of these returned though, not that that is why I do it. Dd always talking about children at school so was a bit of a shock on thursday to hear what they said about being with adults or on own. We ahve also bought a stress toy to help with hand muscles. Not sure if there is anything else at the moment.

Thank you for reading if oyu got this far.

OP posts:
Kione · 17/01/2011 11:37

I want to reply because no one has done so. But I am not sure if I understand the issue... They are concerned at school becase she is always wih adults? but she does go to school so about 6 hours a day she spends with children, right? Its not your fault, and I am sure you are not the only mum that doesen't have lots of friends with kids! Specially on her first year of school. I am sure she will make friends in time and you too.

I am a staying at home mum, intending to do so until she goes to pre-school, and I don't think that will be aproblem for her.

Original poster
Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 11:57

Thank you for the reply. Sorry if it wasnt clear.

They are concerned about her concentration and attention, her speech and the fact that in the classroom she is either doing things on her own or looking at the adults to do it with her.

At home she talks loads abotu the other children and asks to invite them to play which we do. I take her to parks etc and she goes to a dance class on a saturday so does mix with other children and will go up to them and play even if she doesnt know them.

At the beginning of nursery they said that she didnt mix that much but when she left 2 and a half years later I wasnt aware of this being a problem any more.
I have a feeling at school this is cause the adults have ways of understanding her easier than the children can.

On the 3 days I work she is with her Dad who we live with and he often takes her to his friends house who has an 8 yr old and a baby so as I said earlier she does mix with other children. I do also try to arrange playdates with her godparents children etc but it is near on impossible!!!

Hope that makes it a bit clearer. Sorry it wasnt before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 11:59

Sorry I think I must have deleted some of the post without realising so hopefully it will make sense now I have added other post!!!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Kione · 17/01/2011 12:05

I honestly don't see why are they worried. Everything you explain that you do sounds absolutely normal to me. But I am n ot an expert... they are worried on her concentration and attention, and they think this is because she is with adults too much time?
About playing or doing things with adults, I wouldn't be worried after just 4 months of school, maybe she is just taking a bit longer to make friends? But again, I am no expert...

So not being an expert and not being able to help much, my answer to your question is: I don't think you are failing her at all! but do listen to the adivice they give you at school and what they recommend you do.

Original poster
Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 12:11

Thank you.

Have already done some of what they suggested eg doctors appointment, stress toy, just waiting for the report hopefully by the end of the week to see what strategies they are putting into place at school and what we can do extra at home.

She loves school which is the main thing and I really hope that continues.

OP posts:
Kione · 17/01/2011 12:16

No problem, I will say more, by following the advise of people at school that know what they are talking about, you are doing everything you can, and that is the opposite of failing her!! just keep working with them :)

Original poster
Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 12:20

Thank you so much, just feeling very sensitive today for some reason.

OP posts:
nickschick · 17/01/2011 12:25

Hey come on ....chin up!!

Ive been where you are Sad.

that was many moons ago - ds is now 17 and studying his Alevels hes a confident popular lad with great humour.

It just takes time for some to find their place - theres nothing you can do or buy that will speed it up.

My ds didnt talk at all til he was nearly 5.
He was a 'baby' in school,he struggled and they queried SN- I knew it wasnt SN he just hadnt matured in himself.

You are doing a great job taking the advice and finding the professionals to support her development.

Original poster
Foxy800 · 17/01/2011 13:00

Again thank you for the reply. It has helped to talk on here.xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Foxy800 · 24/01/2011 09:15

hi there,

Just a quick update to say we are off to the gp this afternoon on suggestion of the support teacher so will update you later.x

OP posts:
Original poster
Foxy800 · 24/01/2011 18:05

Well been to gp, not a great help but is going to refer her for a hearing test and see if we need to go any further from there or not.

OP posts:
RAlover · 24/01/2011 18:13

I too have been through this scenario.....can I ask when your DD was born? Sometimes (as is the case with my DD who is August born) they just take longer than others to adjust to school life.

If it helps, my DD didnt talk until a month before starting school and had big issues with listening and following instructions.
In fact DDs teacher told me that she was the most subborn 4 year old she had ever met Hmm.
Cut to 4 years later, we have had input from speech therapy and Ed Psych and, although she is behind she is functioning well in school.

Hearing test is standard and then they can explore other options.
Try not to get too down.......it is hard because she is YOUR child, but its good that they are already discussing ways to help.

Original poster
Foxy800 · 24/01/2011 20:26

Thank you for the reply. DD was born in April.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread