What do we think about comforters?

[doricpatter]

You know the sort of thing, a soggy square of muslin which becomes prized by the small child.

I'm not sure about them. I suppose if they become incidentally attached to something that's one thing. But I'm a bit uncomfy about actively encouraging it for some reason. It's great that it gives comfort - comfort's comfort at the end of the day - but I can't help feeling that if a child needs comfort then that should come from a parent, surely?

I dunno. I don't have any problem with seeing kids with comfort items. It just seems a little bit sad somehow. My first didn't have anything like this but I can see with my second that it might be easy to encourage an attachment of some sort. Just pondering really.

Well, parents aren't necessarily always around, are they? I like comforters but, unfortunately, my son has not chosen one!

I wish he would because he's having some separation anxiety issues, especially at night, and I think having something like that might help.

IKWYM, mine's a rotten sleeper at 3 and I'm sure a comforter would help. But I feel guilty because what he really wants is me, if that makes sense.

dd2 has one, well two if you count the dummy. It was on I chose before she was born and gave to her to sleep with from the first day.

I did that because I knew she had to go in to childcare from seven months, but she doesnt really bother with it now unless shes ready for a sleep. She cant sleep without one (she has several). I dont know if its coincidence or not but from being very little she was on of those babies you could pop in her cot and she would go to sleep by herself as long as she has her dummy and comforter and she slept 12 or 13 hours a night from 3 months.

I think they come up with the idea or not on their own, really.
Ds was swaddled and then tucked into blankets made of sweatshirt material, and very rapidly would sleep anywhere with one, so very handy for going anywhere with him in the puishchair or staying at someone else's house.

It certainly helped him settle into nursery (age 11mo) but now aged 2.4 he only has them at naptime/bedtime - I know if he's feeling poorly because he goes to get one. And he will sleep very well in strange places as a blankie and grobag means 'this is bed'. He does now nap in a pushchair without one but if I'm trying to get him to sleep it really helps.

DS1 briefly had a comforter when we tried controlled crying for 10 months.
None of other DC (always slept in same room with us until much older) had the same kind of comforter.

I really wouldn't begrudge a child who wanted one, they overwhelmingly outgrow the need for it.

It's not that the child isn't comforted by parents as much if they have one, it's that the comforter reminds them or represents the security a parent provides at 2am when they wake up and need a bit of reassurrance. My ds is 3 and still takes his 'comforter' to school in his bag with him, although he never gets it out, he likes to have the knowledge that it is there before I leave. It's not a problem at all.

My DD (15 months) has had one since she went into a cot at 5 months old. She only has it to sleep and rubs her cheek with it when she goes to bed. It's not a replacment for me though - if she wakes in the night (often at the mo)it might help her drop back off, but usually she needs me - and I go to her... she's only a baby!

I don't begrudge it at all, that's not my point. It's when gurus advise encouraging the child's attachment - as if using it for the parent's convenience. I mean, if mine used one I might get more sleep, but then should I not be providing that comfort myself? Philosophical question, right now if I thought letting him watch Jackass and drink espresso would help him sleep I'd do it!

Mine all have blankies. Ds1 outgrew his about 18 months ago but before that i was a bit concerned with his obsession for it. He now has a cuddly cow that he sleeps with and wants when he is upset but he wants us too. Twins just turned 3 and both have blankies they sleep with and are quite attached to but they do manage to go out and to nursery etc without them. Since they were all about 6 months old the blankies seem to help them to relax and settle to sleep. Ds1's was by chance but i actively encouraged twins to have theirs. I really dont see why it's a bit sad. They definitely also helped when each child started nursery.

Mine has a comforter for bedtime and naptime in the day and she soon goes to sleep when she snuggles up to it's soft material - she doesn't carry it around or seem to seek it when she's awake though - not sure I'd want to encourage her to be so attached to a comforter that it never leaves her side x

DS1 (nearly 6) has got a teddy he likes but he doesn't he can sleep happily without it.

DS2 (3) developed an attachment to two baby blankets which my Nan knitted when I was pregnant with DS1. He seemed to fall in love with them overnight and now they go to bed with him everynight.

I'm waiting with interest to see if DS3 (4 months) gets attached to anything.

Personally I don't like seeing little ones walking around with them outside IYKWIM, mine only have them at home, or in the car on long journeys.