Help needed with bonkers questions 4yo

[monkeyflippers]

Hi, my 4yo DC asks me questions daily which don't make sense, such as (after going out for a long lunch)

dc: we spent all afternoon in the cafe
me: yeah we did
dc: but what about all the other stuff?
me: what other stuff?
dc: we didn't do any other stuff (sounding surprised)
me: no we didn't, is that a complaint or are you happy about that? I don't understand?
dc: we spent all afternoon having lunch and didn't do any of the other stuff (getting frustrated)
me: I still don't understand. Are you saying that you are upset that we didn't do something else or happy we had a long lunch. You need to make the question clear if you want an answer.

After this we both get annoyed as she'll keep asking and asking and starts getting quite rude because she is annoyed that i'm not giving the answer she expects.

I think she just has questions that she can't express but this happens daily and I honestly don't know how to deal with them.

Can anyone give me an idea for a way to maybe reflect the questions back at her or get her to make the questions make sense. It drives me bonkers and I find it hard to keep my cool as she will never let it go but will keep on asking and asking as she hasn't got her answer.

I can't even just fob her off or just agree with her as this doesn't satisfy her. I end up (after ages) just saying that she needs to stop talking about it. Of course I feel bad about this as that's not nice but she'll be getting very annoyed with me and the situation starts getting a bit heated.

Please help, it drives me bonkers!

Try - "Did you want to do something different today instead of sitting in the cafe?"

That way she only has to say yes or no.

If "yes" - you can say "what?"

If "no" - you can say "that's ok then. Do you think we should have done?"

Also a yes/no answer.

Keep it simple.

You are quite right. Young dcs cannot always verbalise and get frustrated.

Well at one point I said "what are the other stuff you keep talking about" and she just kept saying "the other stuff! you know the other stuff!"

No, I don't bloody know!

She also asks me questions and expects me to say an answer which I am not aware of but is in her head. When I don't say it just like she imagines (because why would I it's in her head) it she gets really annoyed and won't give up until i've said it . . . SHE TELLS ME WHAT TO SAY AND I HAVE TO SAY IT, OTHERWISE SHE WON'T STOP GOING ON!!!!!!

Completely normal. (I've had 3 DCs at this stage and worked with 4 yr olds for 20 years).

Lots of smiling and agreeing, then distract with other question of your own (also bonkers!) e.g What colour is sleep?

Young children love these conversations - it doesn't have to make sense, just keep it fun and cheerful!

(My 3 yr old yesterday made me agree that he had another mummy who lives in a far away country and she is called Izzy!! No idea what he is on about, he is my 3rd birth child and has only ever lived in this house. we've never eeven been to a far away country!!)

Bonkers.

Thanks, I guessed that it was probably normal, although I don't really see other kids doing it. Thought maybe she was a little extreme as she is quite an extreme person generally. Quite highly strung and very hard to calm down when she is upset etc.