advice on moving DS's into same room

[lucamom]

Tomorrow we plan on moving our 2. 5mth son in with his soon to be 4 year old brother. Youngest is currently still in a cot, eldest in cotbed without sides, but we also plan on getting them both in new single beds at the same time.

They have a good bedtime routine and are usually good at going to and staying asleep, so we expect a few nights of having to return to bed a number of times whilst they get used to the excitement of being together, but would appreciate any advice on the best approach to have.

Are we mad to do the 2 changes together, and should we move youngest in but keep in a cot for a while, or bite the bullet and do the 2 changes together?

Any advice appreciated x

My dds share, they're 4 and 2 although they've shared since dd2 came out of a Moses basket. We still have nights when they wind each other up abd play and mess about till late, but not more than a couple times a month.

I'd suggest a stairgate across their bedroom door for the first few weeks, so even if they're playing they're contained!

Possibly a staggered bedtime too, especially if they're not settling down to sleep particularly well.

I love my dds sharing, they sleep in the same bed (they do have their own beds) but sleep snuggled up together, and look so sweet. They also play nicely in the mornings, meaning I can get some more sleep as they stay upstairs and I only have to drag myself out of bed when they start begging for breakfast!

we have just taken the sides off our cotbed for DS 2.10m and he was a v good sleeper before!!

After a week of 'activity' when we did not want it (late night/ early morning) we have introduced the 'gro-clock' to help them learn when to stay in bed and when its time to get up.

So far so good. Worth a google if you have not heard of it before.

We also have a stair gate.

I cannot imagine how much more 'activity' there would have been had his older brother been in the same room in a bed too! brave lady ;0)))

I hear you cookie! We've had some terrible nights, but find making sure dcs are exhausted at bedtime helps; no naps for dd1, and dd2 has a morning nap, sleeping after lunch=nightmare at bedtime.

If we've had a quiet day then we go for a half hour walk before tea (encouraging jumping and running!) or in the summer I let them on the trampoline in their pyjamas for a while, then calming down time before bed.

Thanks for all the ideas - only concern with the stairgate is eldest getting to the loo, as he goes as soon as he wakes? Also, do they just play nicely until you get up, as I' guessing mine would shout until we opened the gate!

Just out of curiosity, what time do your kids got to bed? Both ours have always gone at 7pm, which we've never changed, but maybe is it time they went later or does this sound about right (they tend to wake somewhere between 6 and 7)?

Sorry for all the questions. Until now I was quite optimistic, but scared now of upsetting our peaceful nights!

Dd1(4) can open stairgate, so can take herself for a wee when she wakes up.

You could always open the stairgate when you go to bed, so they can get out in the morning.

Mine wake about 6.30, but I doze till 7 while they bring me toys and assorted crap and beg for food.

Good luck!

DD 5 and DS 3 have shared since they were 2 and 4 - mainly DD's decision as she was scared in her room on her own! DS loved it and they very soon stopped waking each other etc.

However, because we still do have box room which DS could technically be in, I do sometimes find myself wondering if we did the right thing, putting them in together. Definitely they spend way longer chatting and having a laugh (sometimes arguing) before settling that they would if left to their own devices.

I think that's why I've posted, because it's really on my mind at the moment. I reckon they'd both get an hours more sleep per night if they were separate.

Oh what the heck, they love being in together and I've no real complaints about their behaviour.

Ours have shared dd3 and ds 6 ( nearly 7 and 4) for the last 3 years. ds is very keen to maintain his own space again as dd wakes him up very early.

We'll split them up later in the year before dd starts school. Has worked well though.

Sycamore - I reckon you've got the right attitude to it, if they're enjoying being together, and I'll bet it's easier for you when you're away from home?

We find it a problem as the boys aren't used to sleeping in the same room, so usually my youngest goes in a room alone, and the eldest sleeps in with us, as he's a very heavy sleeper (when I check on him at night, I tuck him back in, ruffle his hair, kiss him, talk to him, physically move him and not even a murmer in response. Maybe this will stand us in good stead for the nights ahead?!)

Our two boys have shared since they were similar age to yours (ds1 was probably a bit younger as they are closer in age to each other). Anyway, we were dreading it - ds1 has always been a great sleeper but ds2 was an awful sleeper and we were terrified that he'd mess up ds1's sleep. But in fact, quite the reverse happened - ds2 immediately started sleeping better and they now both sleep like logs. They love being in a room together and find it comforting, I think. And we didn't get any nonsense at bedtime either iirc. Though that is starting now that ds1 is 5...

Think of everything they're likely to do, talk to them about it and make sure they know what you expect. e.g. shouting for you in the morning, do you want them to?
I tell DD1 (3) to play and tell stories to dd2 (15 months), so she mostly does. Sometimes it is her shouting for me in the morning and not dd2 shouting, which annoys me so I never go if she shouts, I wait for her to be quiet and let her know there is no need to shout in the morning.
I'd go for beds and room at the same time, make it clear why - he's a big boy now etc, big boys stay in their beds and go to sleep - he may not even think to get out of bed and he's unlikely to fall out.
If you're worried about them chatting when they should be going to sleep work out a way to limit that. I remember hearing my Mum or Dad announcing loudly (didn't know it was a con til now) that they were about to check on us, we'd swiftly turn out light/get into bed/be quiet/whatever for when they came and once we'd done it we'd pretty much go to sleep - sometimes kids need an excuse to go to sleep when their siblings are talking rubbish for no reason but to get the last word in.

We have a spare bedroom and I asked dd1 the other day if she'd like to have her own bedroom and not share any more... she looked at me as if I was insane and said

'Why would I want to do that mummy? I love my sister'

Lucamom - yes, much easier. Twin rooms in hotels are like water off a ducks back

Thanks all for your wise words -I'm sitting here with 2 sleeping boys upstairs, all gone well so far.

Spent all day 'bigging it up', took them to a toy shop and each chose a toy, with the promise that if they were good tonight they can have them in the morning, and then made a big deal of new bedding etc. Kept their evening routine the same and settled them both in.

As soon as I shut the door, they were chuntering away excitedly with each other, each got up a couple of times but both asleep within 40 mins.

Overall not as scary as I thought - long may it continue!