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Parenting

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Original poster

Baby still in our bedroom at 11 months

19 replies

emilyrhino · 14/01/2011 19:35

Hi
Just wanting a few opinions please! Our 11 month old baby is still in our room and I really dont want to move her into her own room yet because I like her being there with me .I dont want to put her on her own away from us. What are peoples experiences of keeping babs in with you for a long time then trying to move them to their own room? Im worried that when we do try and move her it will be an ordeal and more upsetting for her then if we just got on with it?

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FlamingoBingo · 14/01/2011 19:38

Well, it's really entirely up to you and your partner. As long as no one's being harmed, it doesn't really matter what you do. We intended to bedshare for as long as it took. Our children left our bed (we had a single alongside a kingsize like this:

DD1 at 6yo with DD2 at 4.5yo
DD3 at 3yo
DD2 at 2yo, but she comes in half way through the night.

It suits us, and meant no one got distressed.

OnlyWantsOne · 14/01/2011 19:39

DD stayed in with me until she was about 13 months. She has always been a poor sleeper that needed lots of attention at night.
I didnt struggle getting her into her own room, we just moved her cot and put her to bed! She was none the wiser till the morning

My friend who co slept withher children until they were 3 and 15 months has just put them both into big beds in their own room and has had shit sleep for a week but seems to have cracked it.

HTH

enjoy her :)

SacharissaCripslock · 14/01/2011 19:40

My DS1 went into his room at 4.5 soon followed by his little brother who was 17 months.

I made their room all nice and made a fuss of how much I'd love to sleep in there so my DS1 was quite happy to give it a go and loved it. Then my 17 month old wanted to be with his big brother so started sleeping in there too.

Both knew that they could sneak back into bed beside me whenever the liked so they didn't feel forced out or that it was a big deal or owt. They are 6 and 3 now and the 3 year old sneaks in for a cuddle at 6am every day and sleeps for another couple of hours.

If you like have your DD in with you then keep on doing it I say. It's lovely and before you know it she'll be a grumpy teen that you have to bribe to get a cuddle from! Enjoy it while you can.

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aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 14/01/2011 19:40

If your happy and she's happy then stay as you are.

I think it's lovely and plan to keep ds2 in my room until he's ready to move out.

I will of course put him a bed in his brothers room and encourage him to try it out but I won't push him and the bed will be there for whenever he's ready.

LeninGrad · 14/01/2011 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

emilyrhino · 14/01/2011 19:42

wow i didnt expect people to respond so quickly! thanks! She is in her own cot and sleeps well - i just feel that because im out at work all day that if she want in with us i would hardly see her if you get what i mean and she seems quite content. u just worry its not the "done thing"

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TubbyDuffs · 14/01/2011 19:44

My first two were about 6 months when they went in their own rooms.

DC3 was about 10/11 months.

The boys (now 6 and 4) come in during the night if they are scared/cold/whatever, and we never throw them out.

DC3 is in a cot in her own room, but we have the baby-listener and if she gets upset, I bring her in with us.

I like having them in their own rooms (even if we do end up 5 in a bed now and again) as it means I can go to bed and stick the light on and read a book before going to sleep.

If, however, you and partner are happy to have baby there, it is entirely up to you, and why do you even need to ask what anyone else thinks?

MoChan · 14/01/2011 19:45

My daughter went into her own room around 18months, I think. Keep her in with you as long as you are comfortable with it, I say.

eaglewings · 14/01/2011 19:46

emilyrhino its your family, do what suits you and makes you all happy. In the days of caves I expect we all slept in the same room :)

My ds moved out at 3, dd at 4. Miss them sometimes

MoChan · 14/01/2011 19:46

PS. I'd have been happy for longer, but she was a very light sleeper and any sound from me or her dad woke her in the end, so better to give her her own space for the sake of a good night's sleep.

suzikettles · 14/01/2011 19:48

Ds is still in with us at 4 years because we are hem hem spatially challenged (1 bed flat).

When we go on holiday or stay at my parents' he has his own room and has never been fazed by the change. He'd love to have his own room (although to be fair, he thinks he does have his own room and we're the ones who are squatting)

Original poster

emilyrhino · 14/01/2011 19:49

TubbyDuffs i just wanted some opinions as it seems amongst my friends that they have tried to get their babies out into their own rooms as soon as they can whereas i am keen for her to stay there - if nothing else its a fantastic form of contraception!

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suzikettles · 14/01/2011 19:50

Oh, and I've always stuck the bedside light on when I go in so I can read. Ds has just grown up thinking this is normal and he never wakes. Lucky, given it's turned out to be longer term than I'd ever have imagined.

Original poster

emilyrhino · 14/01/2011 19:55

suzikettles - i have the light on too and she isnt botherd. We have ended up like this due to being short of a room for her but to behonest i wouldnt change it no although this may change in another few months!
Thanks everyone for your comments x

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TubbyDuffs · 14/01/2011 19:57

Ha ha, not having a go at you, just think that if it works for you, sod what anyone else does or thinks!

My first DC went into his own room at 6 months, and it was absolutely beneficial to him as it was the first time he actually slept through, as I think it was me and DH who were disturbing him (we had a baby-listener so it wasn't that we just couldn't hear him!).

I don't mind any of them in with us, we all snuggle up and its lovely, but I do like that they have their own rooms to go to.

tholeon · 15/01/2011 11:01

can I ask what co-sleepers do if they have more than one child? Am asking because I have a toddler who starts off in his own room, but then normally comes in to us during the night. Am hoping to have another one and I'm sure I'd want to co-sleep with the newborn while b/fing as I remember it being the only way to get any sleep - but surely that doesn't work with a toddler as well? I'd imagine it isn't very safe either??

LeninGrad · 15/01/2011 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlamingoBingo · 16/01/2011 13:29

tholeon - we just got creative and gave up on doing whatever passes for normal! We stored our lovely king size bed and put our kingsize mattress on a low bed base, next to a single mattress = lovely 8ft family bed

Now we only have the 2yo with us a the 4yo very occassionally, we have our lovely kingsize back and we are just used to sleeping squished up - we try to remind ourselves to enjoy it. Our 7 and 6yo never come in now and we kind of miss their lovely warm snuggliness

You can't have a newborn sleeing next to a toddler, btw - dad can cuddle the toddler in the night when you need to be tending to the newborn.

dessen · 16/01/2011 13:32

I've done co-sleeping & then with dd had her in a cot before going into her own room. What ever works for you is best.

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