Being a ‘good enough’ parent – I keep going wrong!

[ridesupwithwear]

I know what I 'should' be doing - be calm, positive, firm, clear and consistent at all times - but I just don't seem to be able to do it. DS1 (5) can be lovely but can also be rude, disobedient, contrary and argumentative and I have a gnawing fear that it's my fault because I'm not sufficiently like all those things listed above. Worryingly, he also seems to be developing some peculiar self esteem issues, saying that he's rubbish and wants to put himself in the bin (though saying it cheerfully, so I'm not sure what to make of it). DH, who looks after him 3 days a week before and after school and all day in the holidays when I'm at work says that he (DS) is worse with him (DH) which, again, I have a fear is my fault because I don't do all those things well enough when I look after him. DH is better at all those elements of parenting, so maybe it's DS kicking against it because he gets away with more with me.

As I say, I know what I should be doing and do my best to do it, but obviously it's not working too well! What is the measure of a 'good enough' parent? What can a parent do when their best just isn't good enough? Is there always room to try harder?

Thanks for reading this far, sorry for the whinge.

Do you laugh together, make silly jokes, muck around and play.....bet you do! Children like us cannot be happy all of the time, they moan,whinge, fight and are little whatnots most of the times.I say to mine when I'm clearing up (again) anything on the floor by the time I count to 10 is rubbish and therefore goes in the bin. Then I pick up the one nearest and "pretend" to put them in the bin...I will stop this when they reach 25!Just laugh with him when he says this,offer to join himI,ve given up feeling guilty now I often think I could do better and try something else but never guilty

Ah humour that is the great thing isn't it. I sometimes beat myself up that we do not have enough hilarity in our house.

Don't worry OP, you can only do your best - he will be fine.

the fact that you are worried whether you are good enough means that you are :)