spending every morning yelling at my 4 yr old

[IntergalacticHussy]

Where am i going wrong? I'm finding it pretty much impossible to get her to school on time despite the following:

making sure packed lunch/bookbag/water bottle/ snack purse are all ready the night before and on the buggy ready to go.

organising outfits for her, myself and dd2 the night before.

bathing both dds in the evening so they don't need more than a cursory wipe down after breakfast.

getting up at 7am in order to leave the house at 8.30. (should be more than enough time shouldn't it?)

leaving hairbrush/band by the door so i can do that just before we leave the house without having to run off and find them.

The basic routine is; change dd2, get them both downstairs for about 7.05, unload the dishwasher in order to find clean bowls/cutlery, breakfast on the table by 7.15, get the kids dressed at about 7.40 which basically involves me having to tell dd1 over and over again to get her uniform on while she ignores me, then ending up yelling at her as i try to dress dd2.

By 8 i can usually put dd2 back in the cot while dd1 plays (instead of getting dressed) and i jump in the shower. by 8.15 i'm usually dressed and telling dd1 to please for the love of god get dressed/get her shoes/coat on. 8.25 sees me desperately trying to get her to stand still while i do her hair. I'm simultaneously getting dd2's snowsuit on and putting her in the buggy.

By 8.30 dd1 has usually taken off her shoes again and undone her coat. She'll also usually be rifling through her bookbag and lunchbox chucking things on the floor and this is when the yelling begins in earnest. This morning thsi only had the effect of getting her to sit on her bike and ride that around the conservatory which meant we didn't leave till 8.35 and got to school with seconds to spare before the bell went. What can i do differently here? I don't want to shout at her every bloody morning.

hi intergalactic. not sure i can be much help other than to be sympathise. i have similar difficulties with my 5 1/2 year old, albeit not so severe. it drives me crazy repeating myself 30 odd times EVERY morning!! get dressed/do your teeth/ wash your face/ put your shoes on/ aaaaaarrggh!! why dont they get it? its the same every day!! alot of mums i know, say its the same in their homes.
i am going to try a rewards chart. i also read on here, a mum took her daughter to school in her pyjamas and that cured her!
good luck

It's a nightmare, isn't it? Also, by doing everything, my dcs now expect me to remember their book bags, gym bags etc. They'll never learn for themselves if I keep doing it.

A couple of things I do is:

• lay the breakfast table the night before

• try and make sure dishwasher is empty before I go to bed.

• have a shower last thing and just a wash in the mornings to freshen up.

• after washing face etc, get dressed. If I'm dressed I feel I'm managing better.

• lay out toothbrushes on the sink ready for the dcs to stomp upstairs after breakfast.

• kids cannot come downstairs for breakfast until they are dressed.

• all shoes, coats and bags ready waiting by the front door. Dcs know where the stuff is and can go down to put them on after cleaning teeth.

• absolutely no telly on school day mornings. A grand recipe for rage that one!

But you're not alone in your quest to get out of the door without breaking into a pink glow! Households all over Europe are doing the same thing.

Not sure if youre going directly to work but if not why are you showering at that time when your daughter is creating a fuss about getting ready? If you ARE going to work then set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and get ready BEFORE you wake them up. Dishwasher is wasting 10 minutes of your time - rearrange this chore to fit in with your morning routine.

Families with children who DONT fuss about getting ready seem to get up at 7am. So I would imagine you might all need to be getting up earlier?

I would agree with redcats, I think you are starting off on the back foot and it is escalating. If you are lucky enough to be waking your children at 7am (unlike me who gets woken at 6am by my 4yo alarm clock), then get up and showered first?

Most of it sounds like you are doing everything 'right' - but the showering is a bad idea IMO. I'd get up earlier, maybe get breakfast things out (unless you can do that before bed?) and shower before waking them up.

Or can you switch to showering in the evenings instead?

I've seen some good charts in supernanny, where you have all the stages like get dressed, do teeth, do hair etc and if they race through the chart then they have time for colouring in etc.

We do things slightly differently - if the DCs are ready down to their shoes/hair/teeth, bookbags etc packed and having their coats, hats etc to hand, they are then allowed to spend the remaining time before leaving the house watching tv or playing their DSs. Cuts down on the removing shoes/emptying bags naughtiness while I sort the baby out. Still normally descends into chaos some days!

only tip i have is if your dd has a competitive streak. You could challenge her to be dressed before you are out of shower or before you dress dd2. I know my eldest would always respond to a challenge. However my 'middle' dd wouldn't dream of it so no guarantees!! good luck - your mornings sound a bit like mine!

Ditto on the showering - if I were you. I'd get up 15mins earlier and get showered and dressed first. Good luck, I'm just discovering how challenging morning routines can be!