Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Newbie to Mumsnet who HATES the school run...anyone else the same?

48 replies

jojo1827 · 09/01/2011 17:54

Hi all,
Having just read an article in the Mail on Sunday by Andrea Catherwood about the hell of the school run, I am somewhat comforted by the fact I am not alone in hating this hellish task. I felt compelled to join Mumsnet and seek some sanctuary from other mums who also have a dislike of this necessary chore [hmmm].

I am a working mum of 3, and find myself rushing about so I can get parked and collect the children in good time, making sure make up is applied and I look half acceptable so as not be given those all knowing disapproving looks from the playground mafia, and not like some deranged banshee who is rushing about to within an inch of her life. Thankfully I now only have 2 little ones to collect from Infant/Junior school as No.1 DS is now at Senior school and only has to walk 2 minutes til he's home. I digress slightly......Andrea Catherwood mentions groups of women found frequenting the playgrounds to collect their children and i wholeheartedly agree with all she says.
Since my youngest DS has started school, not ONE SINGLE parent of the children in his class have even given me a welcoming smile, friendly face or even a "hello", despite my efforts to engage in conversation, instead standing in their cliques in whispered chatter. I have now suffered this for some 2 years and it doesn't look like its gonna get any better .

I do think doing the school run is the perfect contraception sometimes, don't think i would have had children if i had been subjected to this torture.
But its not all bad, because when DS no.3 comes out with a big beaming smile, brandishing a piece of artwork that would have impressed Jackson Pollock, my heart melts and I have that all familiar "proud mummy moment" which makes it all worth while.
Would be great to hear what other mums think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

belledechocchipcookie · 09/01/2011 20:09

I'm not beating anyone motherinferios

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 20:11

Er...'it's [sic] fair share of lazy journalists'? And actually I was referring to a generalised trend. The use of the word 'attack' is significant, in this context. Because of course any suggestion that someone might be a journalist is a Bad Thing. As opposed, presumably, to the suggestion that they are a writer which is considered to be a Good Thing.

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 20:13

And to return to the original point: no, I don't agree. I like the school run. I like seeing other parents. I like my kids' school. I enjoy the opportunity to walk with my daughters and chat to them and then meet their friends and those friends' parents and talk to them. I like the other parents in the playground, many of whom are interesting, intelligent witty people.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education General parenting

TheCrackFox · 09/01/2011 20:14

I really don't get the big deal about the school run. Turn up, drop children off. Chat to people if you want, don't bother otherwise.

amberleaf · 09/01/2011 20:17

Im with TheCrackFox

MintAeroBar · 09/01/2011 20:28

I too like the school run and agree with motherinferior. There are some ladies there that are a right laugh to hang out with. We chat more than the DCs do!

cookieraymond · 09/01/2011 20:33

oooo am yet to experience this one (DS2yrs & DS1yrs), but reading the OP am thrown straight back into being picked for games last in secondary school!

Goodness, you'd thing we would all have grown out of the 'play ground' mentality but perhaps heading back there means our ability to act like a polite and friendly adults goes out the window too!

I do feel a smidge of pressure to look 'good' for the pre-school drop off, but tbh am so exhausted with the little'un's I dont really car

Jojo I feel for you, and hope to God I get a friendly bunch for my sons first class!

My advice, you are worth 10 of the lot of them for giving it a try (being friendly and polite) so in future I would adopt an air of 'they don't know what they're missing' by ignoring you and stop giving a sh*t about your appearance on their behalf - save the effort for people who appreciate it :0)))

Panzee · 09/01/2011 20:35

motherinferior, TheCrackFox and mintaerobar I like your perspectives. Even though I work in a school I am dreading the days when I will be on the school run (if I ever get to do it with my job!) Numerous threads on bitching, bullying and angst over what coat is acceptable (seriously?) has put me off. But your comments remind me it's no biggie. Thanks.

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 20:37

Oh, most of them are fine. Friendly. Nobody at our school gate gives a flying fandango what you look like, I slightly reckon (given my generalised unkempt freelance appearance, dammit). There are many hellos. The children mill around, pleading to go to each others' houses. You get to remark on new babies, and agree to cover other parents' childcare emergencies, and catch up about lost party invites. And then you bog off home again. It is not exactly scary.

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 20:38

It is much talked up as an ordeal. It's only challenging if you have a hangover, I find.

sparkle1977 · 09/01/2011 20:45

I have yet to take part in the school run but I have to say that hanging round getting ignored by cliques of other mothers is not hugely appealing to me. I currently do the pre-school run and hardly anyone talks to me at that so am not expecting any major friendliness sadly.

I think I will take the approach of dash down, drop child off and get out quick.

Original poster

jojo1827 · 09/01/2011 20:46

I used to enjoy the school run with my first 2 kids but the parents were all very different, friendly and nice - AND i did not work so i had the time to stand and chat. However, since having to return to work (due to change of circumstances) and time not being on my side, with my 3rd DS i found it incredibly different. Whether it is because i just do not have the time to stand and chat and make myself known, or i am not as visible now (DS2 goes to breakfast club in the mornings so i am not there at morning run)the other parents in DS2's year don't give me the time of day.

Hey ho - cookieraymond I think you are right.

It's just a different experience for everyone.

OP posts:

BlueberryPancake · 09/01/2011 20:50

Well that's just life isn't it. Frankly I don't care if other mums can afford Barbour padded coats, good for them. It doesn't scare or intimidate me. If they have time to put make up on, good for them. I'm glad if I have time to brush my teeth before we leave the home. I like the school run because I can spend special time with my children and I feel privileged that I can be there for them at the end of their school day, even if I wear clothes from Matalan. I think the article is full of cliches, it offer very little insight into real life.

UniS · 09/01/2011 20:50

I quite like the school run...

WilfShelf · 09/01/2011 20:52

There is no such thing as a clique: they're just people you haven't gone over and introduced yourself to yet.

Honestly, they're people, in groups, just like every other place where there are people in groups. Nobody complains about, er, the pub, the supermarket, the doctor's surgery in quite the same way. Talk to people, or not. Speak to people you know, or not. If people seem to know each other, so what? It doesn't mean they're plotting an evil downfall for you. And as for what to wear: good god. I couldn't give a monkey's chuff - if I get there on time, with my children in the right uniform I'm happy. But then I've never particularly thought those things matter, except at work, in any case.

unfitmother · 09/01/2011 20:53

I hate the school run so much that I refuse to do it, DH does it instead.
It was OK for DS as I was a SAHM with a toddler then so got to know one or two faces but now I'm WOH it's hideous, they're all so cliquey in DD's class and such stalwarts of the PTA that I just keep away.
At parents' evening the teacher didn't know who I was.

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 20:55

I think I'm going to pitch a piece on Reclaiming the School Run.

Panzee · 09/01/2011 20:56

Aaagh! Journalist! Begone!

:o :o

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 20:58

I never do it now. DH takes the children to school on his way to work, and I pick them up from after school club. I miss it. I liked the chatting. But then DH and I are stalwarts of the PTA ourselves...

motherinferior · 09/01/2011 21:00

I know, I probably deserve to be condemned to the school run as a Condition of Employment, innit.

Clary · 09/01/2011 23:14

I really miss the School Run.

I work ft now and it's at a school so altho there are many advantages, I start and finish work the wrong side of my DCs' school start and finish times.

I was off on Thursday so could do the afternoon pick-up and was greeted by assorted cliques groups of friends with beaming smiles and "how are yous".

So that was nice. Not scary at all.

I was looking smartish tho as I had had an interview that day

NoseyNooNoo · 10/01/2011 00:00

I hate the school rund and DC1 is only attending the nursery attached to the school - I can't believe I have 8 more years of it, at least, including DC2.

I have to park a huge distance away across main roads, it is always snowing raining, bloomin' freezing, icy etc. Generally, the other mums seem unsociable towards me and I have really tried. I don't think anyone really knew each other before but groups have formed. I've tried small talk with individuals but no 'friendship'. Sometimes I've been walking along pavement with my DCs and been alongside 2 mums chatting to each other who have blanked me - I feel that this is really rude on their part. I feel like a right Norma-no-mates and end up chatting to their children. The self-appointed class rep can be in the same room as just me and fail to notice me or hear me say hello.

We don't have the 'making yourself smart' thing going on. Some mums really dress up but it seems strange to me to dress up that much for school. Some mums are just in trackies but most of us are somewhere in between just trying to make the most of ourselves in the spare 5 mins we have in the morning.

The thought of 8 more years of rudeness and feeling like an outsider is a bit of a killer.

NoseyNooNoo · 10/01/2011 00:08

having just read the Mail's article I'm surprised that it really is just a rip-off of the Mumsnet thread.

Flip

1 2