Coping with a toddler and newborn? Please help.

[ClarasMummy]

DS is a week old now and is a little angel so far, DD however is going through a difficult time adjusting and her behaviour has become incredibly difficult to deal with. I literally have no idea how I'll cope with both of them when DP goes back to work. I don't know how I'll keep the house in a decent state or even find time to go to the bathroom.
I'm coming out of a severe bout of depression which doesn't help.
How do those of you with a newborn and toddler cope by yourselves? Any tips/ideas would be so appreciated as I really am terrified of next week when DP goes back to work.

COngrats on your DS!

How old is DD? My DD1 is 3.3 and DD2 came along 8 weeks ago. It's been tricky but getting easier. Here's what we've done to cope:

• Make is clear that DD1 is allowed special privledges as she's older, so going to bed 5 minutes later etc.
• Make full use of Cbeebies for a while until you learn your newborn. It won't harm her.
• Tell her that DS loves her the most etc. DD2 watches DD1's every move and seems totally relaxed in her company: we exploit this to the full and make a very big fuss of it.
• Sensible friends and family can help you out by making a big fuss over DD before the coo over DS: ours have been fantastic (we're among the last in our group of friends to have a DC2).
• My house looks like a bomb's hit it but there are worse things in the world.
• For bathroom breaks (!) put your Ds somewhere safe and just go!
• Maintain her routine where you can. DD1 is still going to nursery and seeing friends. I'm signing her up for some activities that only she can do (gymnastics and swimming) as a way of doing something special and spending time with one of us on her own.
• Accept babyish behaviour. DD1 has taken a few steps back with potty traning and like baby cups now and again. We let it go and she's getting back on track now.

HTH

forget the housework - either delegate it, or do a 30 minute blitz when you've someone around to help with the DCs.

For me, a sling is a big help. dd2 (10 weeks) will not sleep unless held, so the sling keeps me hands-free for playing sylvanians with dd1 (3.9).

Toddler groups are great - older DC can run riot, you might just get a few minutes where another mum wants to cuddle DC2, and you don't have to look at the mess at home .

For meals, again, cook double if you've someone around to help (partner perhaps?), and then freeze, so you've got something easy and nutritious to feed dc1.

There is no easy way. Housework doesn't get done, people who come round don't offer to help but judge you anyway. Never have enough food in the house or nappies but no one offers to get you a bit of shopping. Suffer depresion and anxiety and told you need to get a break but relatives say they are too busy (doing fuck all) when this is explained to them!!

Sorry that was really negative. Actually I found it was easier in some ways and harder in others. Accept that the older one will have to watch a fair amount of telly for a while. Don't worry about it and don't worry too much about the house work (easier said then done). Try to get out of the house to get the older one to playgroups to wear them out. Also get your DH to do as much as possible and start as you mean to go on. What I mean by that is that you are going to need him to do a lot for quite a while so start now. Don't try to be supermum.