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Parenting

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Original poster

10 week old wont sleep unless held

17 replies

waffle3 · 07/01/2011 17:10

Hi all,
My 10 week old wont sleep in the day unless held. I put him dwn and he wakes. Have tried to get him to go to sleep on his own staying there comforting him but he just cries then screams.
I try every day to get him to go down but he just ends up so over tired and screams thn even wen i hold him.
He sleeps not too bad at night if the room is v dark and i give him a cuddle till more or less asleep. He will wake in the night either for a feed or comfort.

Should i carry on holding him or should i carry on trying? My hv said to let him cry a little as the more hes held the more he will want it.
Any suggestions

xxx

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putthekettleon · 07/01/2011 20:18

You need a sling . DD1 had pretty much all her daytime naps in the sling for the first 6 months. She's now 2.8 and has no problem falling asleep on her own at bedtime, it certainly did her no harm.

DD2 is 6 months and usually falls asleep while feeding then I put her down, or naps in the pushchair. Or I lie next to her on my bed and feed her to sleep, then creep off and leave her there.

If he's your first I say just hold him and use the excuse to sleep/watch crap telly!

kitbit · 07/01/2011 20:24

Yep get a sling! Some babies just like to be close to you. It doesn't make them clingy in fact often the opposite is true so don't listen to anyone who says so!
We had an Ergo, you can get an insert for newborns which is really good.

Go with it, and good luck!

JoinTheDots · 07/01/2011 20:34

I just held DD (and still do...) if you are not unhappy with the situation, don't fight it. I found the week I tried to put DD down for every nap was stressful for both of us, and I was as unhappy as she was.

They grow out of it, and as the others said, you can always try a sling (I keep meaning to do that myself...)

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hels71 · 07/01/2011 20:42

my DD had almost every single nap in the didymos wrap when she was small...she hated being put down. She also fed to sleep and co-slept at night...now she is 3 and a bit and sleeps quite happily all on her own..some babies want and need holding more than others so....just do it I say!!

monkeymiss · 07/01/2011 20:48

Agree. Sling it!

I found this book very helpful as a new parent - not directly relevant at first glance perhaps, but may give you courage to follow your instincts as you are doing rather than listen to hv.

www.amazon.co.uk/What-Every-Parent-Needs-Know/dp/1405320362

IAmReallyFabNow · 07/01/2011 20:50

I read the title and just thought "hold her then." She is still so so little and new. I wish I had held mine more. I read something that said babies get spoilt if held too much and now they are big and don't want many cuddles.

BookcaseFullofBooks · 07/01/2011 21:04

I believe those early weeks and months are all about building a secure attachment. At such an early age, they have no internal sense of security and that is why they need to be close to their caregiver. This gives them the security to explore their environment as they get older.

He knows he will be picked up when he cries and that's a good thing.
HV advice is so variable. Mine is very relaxed and supports the way I choose to deal with this, so their advice is by no means definitive.

Greeninkmama · 07/01/2011 21:29

My DD was like this. I am glad we held her because she obviously needed it. Unlike my DD2, who was always fine to be put down. Some babies just need more holding than others. Go with your instincts, not your HV's rather jaded opinion. Good luck.

babybouncer · 07/01/2011 21:31

Just because this it true now, it won't always be true. 10 weeks is really not very old...

If this is an issue because you want to be hands free to be able to, for example, get yourself some lunch, then a sling is absolutely the way to go. On the other hand, if you want to 'sleep when baby sleeps', at this stage you may need to enlist help from friends/family to be the ones holding her. I also found white noise CDs useful (sounds of hairdryer etc) as sometimes this would keep DS asleep after I'd put him down or if he'd fallen asleep in the push chair on a walk.

eaglewings · 07/01/2011 21:34

Enjoy every moment of holding your baby, get a sling where he lies rather than is upright and go everywhere together.
My ds needed and enjoyed being held or being next to me, my dd was happy held or lying near me but not always i my arms.
I read night time parenting by Sears. Life saver and gave me the courage to stand up for my belief

Cosmosis · 08/01/2011 10:33

I use it as an excuse to sit on the sofa and mn

OonaghBhuna · 08/01/2011 13:16

I had a Kari me it was fab and it doesnt make them clingy some babies just need more physical contact than others. My Ds was in the sling for 3-4 months and then he was able to sleep in the pram.I have 2 DDs so the sling was great it enabled me to get stuff done.

Its amazing how quickly time goes.

Original poster

waffle3 · 08/01/2011 14:13

Thankyou all, I wear a sling and it is so much nicer he is so content and happier wen i do.
Its just u question yourself and listen to ppl saying ur spoiling him etc.
Itold hv i carry him in a sling and she said
the more you do it the more he will want it.

He is good at night though and goes dwn sometimes takes half an hr but eventually he does.
Bless him i put him dwn for a minute earlier as i wasnt wearing sling and he started crying but it was a real 'where did u go cry'
Also he was holding my finger i moved to get mmy drink and he did it again. So he ob just craves comfort.

Saying tat he will sit in his bouncer if he isnt over tired for up to half an hr. So he is getting better.

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Greeninkmama · 08/01/2011 19:19

Ahh, sounds lovely. Why are some HVs so negative. You'd think they would be glad to see a mum who obviously loves her DC and is doing all she can to meet his needs. Parenting is so much nicer if you ignore all the advice and go with your instincts, I think.

Original poster

waffle3 · 09/01/2011 09:36

He slept 9pm till 3am last night and then 4am-7am so its ob not effecting the night time routine.

Only thing ive noticed is my back really hurts from all the holding and carrying.
He weighs 14lb already so dont know how long i can do it for?

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justalittleblackraincloud · 08/02/2011 13:11

What sling do you have Waffle?

My DD was very similar and has always loved the sling. But you need a decent one or they will feel heavy as they get nearer to 20lbs.

DD is now 18 months and 31lbs+ and I carry her in a woven wrap quite happily. So yes, it's certainly something you can carry on doing for as long as you both want.

DD has been 'slung' since newborn, and all the naysayers who told me she would turn into a demanding, clingy little girl are eating their words!

Original poster

waffle3 · 08/02/2011 15:09

Hi i have a cybex mamas and papas. But my lo is now 15 weeks and will sleep happily in his bouncer chair so it is a compromise. I dont carry him anymore and he is content and happy to play on his own if i need to do something.
So it hasnt made him clingy prob more secure if anything.
I think tbh he had alot of wind so much hurting and wanted cuddles

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