regret a punishment ...do I see it through or admit it was wrong ?

[bananasananas]

DD (8 yo) had a bit of a tummy ache last night and was insisting I sleep with her.
She has trouble going to sleep most nighst. We have worked out a routine which more or less works.A little encouragement and she settles herself.Last night it did not.

I was tired, did not want to sleep on the floor with her, Dh had a D+V bug and I got frustrated by it all. DH suggested that we encourage her to sleep on her own by saying that if she does she can go the party she has been invited to this weekend. Somehow I ended up in the position that I said: if you sleep on your own you can go to M´s party, if I have to sleep with you then you can´t go to the party because you are not well.

I stayed with her all night so in theory she should not go to the party. But in the light of day, I feel this deal was unfair, because she was not feeling well and just needed some TLC Do I:
a) stick to the unfair punishment - she does not go to the party
b) say I was wrong, she goes to the party.

My heart says I should do b but then that is not being very consistent for any future things...

Say you wrong. Say you were tired and soemtimes people say things they don't mean when they are tired. Reassure her that if she's really poorly of course you will sleep with her. But say she has to keep her side of the bargain and sleep on her own when she's well.

And don't sleep on the floor - take her into your bed, share her bed or take a mattress or sofa cushions or something into her room. Be comfortable!

Yes, please let her go to the party!

I would let her go. I do revise my punishments when made out of me being tired and irritable. Never when I think they are justified though, even if the Dcs find them unfair.

no harm in going back when you know you are wrong...

party it is then!!

Say you've been thinking about it and you're prepared to let her go to the party, if she promises to sleep on her own again on x night. Then you're not carrying out the 'mean' punishment, but not just giving in either. And if she doesn't then settle herself on x night, then another consequence will follow.

Try turning it around:

Let's say your 8yo DD said she was going to do something and then realised it would be a mistake, not in anybody's best interests to carry through on and that it would be better not to do it.

How would you like her to deal with that scenario? Would you like her to continue with the original plan despite the fact that nobody would benefit, or would you like her to hold her hands up, admit she made a mistake and then try to put it right?

I don't think there's anything wrong in saying to your child "I'm sorry, I made a mistake. Here's what I should've done..."

admit you were wrong, kids need to learn that you are sometimes wrong adn the best thing to do is fess up and fix it.

yeah, just what I wanted to read! I do want to teach her about compassion (when someone is ill) and admitting one is wrong.
Thank you all ....

I don;t think there should be punishments for things like not finding it easy to sleep alone anyway - it's not like thye are being deliberately naughty - they just don;t want to be alone, which is a perfectly normal human feeling.

I wouldn't do the party/sleeping alone another night thing - I think that banana should just say "I was wrong. You can go to the party" That's a really good message to send about admitting getting things wrong and about fairness. Then have a conversation another time about the sleeping alone thing.