When is it too soon to leave baby

[Queenie333]

Hi, I have a 3 month old and come mid Feb she will be 4 and a half months. One of my best friends is getting married in April and i am a bridesmaid. Her hen do is in Feb and she has rented a cottage for a weekend 1 hr from where we live. I am unsure whether to go. Is it too soon to have a weekend away without baby? I would like to but a) not sure how i will feel and b) not sure if it is inappropriate or unfair to baby? Anyone else had similar situation or has advice?

I don't think your DD is too young, so it will come down to whether or not you feel able to leave her, rather than anything else IMO.

I've done an overnight babysit for a friend when her DD was two months, and everyone concerned survived!

I wouldn't consider leaving a baby with it's parent to be leaving it really - no one would bat an eyelid at a father leaving a 4 month old with it's mother overnight!

I agree MoonUnit !
My DS went to stay with my parents overnight when he was 6m, I had just switched to FF and he just didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. It was a godsend.

Absolutely your decision. What ever you feel happy with. I think it would do you the world of good !!

Enjoy

:o just noticed my iPhone put a random gonad at the end of my post! Think it was supposed to say 'go and' or something!

Anyway, totally agree a baby at home overnight with it's dad is not being 'left' or 'babysat', it's just at home and will not notice you are out.

I went to a hen do overnight when DS1 was 10 weeks old. I wasn't breastfeeding so it was absolutely fine - DH is just as capable a parent as I am and one night on his own was not a problem. Similarly he has been away for work a few times and left me in charge on my own.

Different if breastfeeding possibly, if baby isn't keen on a bottle or whatever, but for a ff baby with a perfectly capable other parent, can't see a problem at all.

Disclaimer: after getting back to the accommodation at 3am on the hen do I promptly got up out of bed and drove home from Oxford at 6am because I missed DS1 so much.

Sorry on reading the thread again I saw this comment by cakefaced:

"I also love her too dearly to leave her"

Fortunately I know what a ridiculous thing that is to say, and am quite confident that a) no one sensible would think I don't love my DSs dearly enough just because I have been away overnight and b) don't care what other people think anyway, but in circmstances where someone is wondering whether it is ok to go away overnight without her child, I'm not sure implying those who do don't love their children as much as you is particularly helpful.

You are only going to be one hour away so can easily return if there are any problems. Go for it!

Go for it! Don't feel pressured either way, make your own decision.

Quick cross section of friends: 3 months overnight, 5 months weekend, 6 months overnight, 3.5yrs and still counting, 6 months weekend.

The last hen weekend I was on had one mother- to-be 8 months pregnant, one mum stayed one night and left 6 month old baby for first time and panicked the whole time, her best friend left 5 month old for whole weekend and had a blast!

Whatever works for you - if you are thinking about it, give it a go! But don't feel like you should if you don't want to.

I never really saw any difference in my leaving dcs with their dad and him leaving them with me. As for the bursting boobs, it can be managed: I went for a 4 day conference abroad when dd was 4 months and coped by expressing, having previously filled the freezer with expressed milk (being a bit of an old milk cow).

Me and DH left DD with my mother at 5 months. We went away for a night 45 mins away and were back by 9 the next morning as we missed her so much.

So enjoyed the time to ourselves though.

But leaving baby with DH?! How could that ever be an issue for the child? It's whether you can cope, dd will be fine. When you realise how fine you may even be a little disappointed

moonunit i totally agree, my dh left us for the night when baby was 17 days old, he didnt have a choice it was work, he hated every minute of it but baby was fine!
I left my baby when he was 6 weeks old, overnight i left in the morning as soon as i woke up,it was very hard for me but he didnt notice i wasnt there, its personal choice of how you bring up your child, if you decide to go have a fantastic time!

left DC1 at 4.5 months for a wedding (with his aunt), and again 2 weeks later (with GPs).

was completely fine. i had a wonderful time and everyone happy.

left DC2 for the first time at 5 months with DH and DC1 - they were all fine - obviously!!

bet you'll have a wonderful time - go for it!

however, its not a case of you being unreasonable one way or the other - just do what you're comfortable with

It's not inappropriate or unfair at all. The main thing is how you feel about it. I'm trying to remember the first time my DS stayed at MIL's without us but I can't, prob after 6 months but that was mainly because he was still waking in the night for BF's so it was more complicated.

As for practicalities, if you are BF then yon need to make sure your DD will happily take milk from a bottle or cup well before your trip. Once you're away, plan regular pumping sessions. I went away to a wedding for two nights the day after DS's first bday, long after my pump had been packed away (though he's still BF most of the time). By 6am of day two my boobs were like melons! It's not confortable, I warn you now!

Have fun!

I would totally do it! Although I reckon it DS might have been 8 months before I left him overnight with his daddy properly , also for a hen do, he prob was 4 / 4.5 mo when I went out with the girls for my bday and (shockingly ;o) ) stayed out till about 6am dancing in a club full of people at least 10yrs younger than me and was so terribly hungover the next day after not drinking for over a year that I might as well have been away for the weekend as was good for nothing!!!

So long as you're happy that daddy can cope (tho he obvs won't look after dd to quite your standards ;o) and you know the house WILL be a tip when you get home) and you think you'll be able to relax then go for it, it'll be a lovely break for you, you'll prob have a great time away with the girls and worst case scenario you're only an hour away from home if you really need to......