Would it be mean

[WinkyWinkola]

To shut my bedroom door at night? My dd aged 3 keeps coming in before five am, getting into bed, patting the baby's head, waking him up and then it turns into a party.

I've got a gro clock set for 6.15am but she and ds1 just totally ignore it. I don't know why they think they can just ignore it because every night, when i set the clock I say, "Don't come in my room until the sun is up." and they meekly nod. It's clearly a ruse.

They both sleep well until this 5am having gone to bed easily at 7pm. Usually exhausted as I've found small children need exercise to the point of weariness otherwise they start to go bananas.

If I shut my bedroom door then I have visions of a tiny girl standing alone in the dark......

Yes, it would be mean.

Perhaps better to give an incentive for staying until the sun is up? A sticker chart, perhaps, leading to a reward after so many mornings not getting up before the sun?

if they get up at 5, then you need to go to bed early enough that you also wake at 5. Simples.

I am one of those people whose children go to bed at the same time as their parents, pretty much. Leads to much much less parental sleep deprivation.

I don't think it's mean surely if they really need you they will cry/bang on door and wake you up? Can't they open the door anyway though?

Could you not just have a chat instead though and say either "You need to stay in bed until the sun comes up, or you can play quietly in your room, but don't come in to me until the clock is up, then we can have cuddles in bed when it does" OR abandon the clock for now and just say "There is a problem here, when you come in to me, you wake the baby. You need to come in quietly and not wake him/her up. If you can't be quiet then you need to stay in your own room." and remove them back to their room every time. Will probably lead to a few more disturbed nights but once they realise it's not happening anyway, they probably won't try any more.

Either way (sorry I meant to finish this!) you need to back it up with an action. They are ignoring you about the clock - so either they don't understand what you are asking them, or they forget, or they are deliberately ignoring you. Either way you need to remove them to their room or when they come to the door, say "Is the sun up on your clock?" "No" "Go back to bed then, you can come in when the sun is up."

Again will probably lead to disturbed mornings for baby in the short term, but once they realise you mean what you say then they shouldn't be trying it every single morning.

Finally you need to agree on a rule for morning cuddles in bed. Something like only at the weekends, or it's always allowed when the sun is showing, OR if you want to add a logical consequence to this, then if they stay quietly in their room until 6.15, then they can come in for a cuddle. If they come in earlier, then they get removed to their bedroom until 6.15, and no getting into your bed on this day, you just all get up at 6.15 and have breakfast. I probably wouldn't do this as I am too lazy think that only allowing cuddles in bed after 6.15 and always removing before this would send the message well enough.

Yeah, I think it's mean.

I would have a chat the night before and choose a book or quiet toy or game to play in the morning until the clock says xxxxx, then she gets a sticker or some sort of reward, maybe a trip somewhere when she manages 5 sleeps in a row?

I also think that 5am to 6.15 is wayyyyy too long. I would start off with asking her to wait until 5.15 and gradually increase the time from there.

i don't think it's mean at all....

why should the baby be wakened??

I'd shut the door, and I know I'd hear it being opened so scoot the offender back to bed with short shrift!

or whatever you want to do...maybe cuddles in your bed if the baby is not woken

Is it worth an extra hour in the evening, if they'll go through longer in the morning?

I've tried later nights - one of them will still wake up early, will wake the other or dd will sneak in, get into bed and secretly wake the baby who is happy to sleep until 8 or even 9am once - that was a happy day!

I don't think it's too much to ask for them to play for a bit in their rooms. They do that often enough. I know I should go to bed earlier but there's so much to catch up on in the evenings when they've gone down.. ... .. They erm seem to completely disregard most stuff I ask of them actually.

I leave books under their pillow - they love perusing books as a rule -, promised stickers and chocolate coins as a means of bribery. It lasts for maybe two mornings and then they don't seem to care anymore.

If I ask them to go back to their rooms, they start shouting and screaming and crying and wake everybody up anyway. Sigh. Perhaps I should just go to bed at 8pm.

I don't think closing the door would be mean, I'm guessing she will just make a noise till it is opened?
We are doing the gro clock thing, we struggled to get it working but maybe I'm a bit dim sleep deprived atm. Anyway at the moment we are making a massive fuss of her when she stays in bed till the sun comes up, which sometimes works..

I think that setting the clock earlier and scooting her back to bed if she is up before would work well.

I've always had my door shut so tv at night doesn't wake ds. It doesn't stop him coming in though. He just opens the door and comes in when he wants to anyway!

I know they will wake everyone up if you take them back to their rooms, but if you keep doing this, then they will eventually realise they don't get anything from coming in and stop trying altogether (hopefully!)

I don't think it's mean, I shut my 2.8 year old in her room at night, and the door handle is too high up for her to reach, so she's stuck til I come to get her! She never even gets out of bed just shouts 'muuummmmyyyyy!' really loudly til one of us cracks.

Personally I wouldn't shut the door, not because it's mean but because I would worry about not being able to hear my little uns in case they threw up or something. Does your DD recognise numbers? Since we took the baby gate off my 3 year old son's door he usually comes in to me when he wakes up and I have told him that if the first number isn't 7 on the digital display he must go back and play quietly in his room, and to be fair he does.

Does your DD have a night light? My little boy has and he can see well enough by that to look at books or play.

I agree with ommmward on this one.

Although your children might be a bit of handful because of their ages and need more sleep than you. Decide what time you want them to get up. Is it seven, well thats easy, adapt their nap times in the day and send them to bed 2 hrs later. Black out blinds are great in summer. I have a 6 and 10 yr old and bedtimes are approx 8.30 and 10pm. I would rather see more of them in the evening than ever I would at 5am in the morning.