My toddler doesn't eat. Can't cope with this anymore!!

[sleepyhorse]

My ds1 is 2.5, he has never been a great eater but it's getting beyond ridiculous now. He will only eat fish fingers and baked beans and occasionally cottage pie. Refuses vegetables and aside from the cottage pie he won't eat meat. We have cut out snacks completely in between meals and no longer allow biscuits or cakes as we found that wasn't helping matters. We don't replace the meals he rejects with another meal as advised by the hv as apparently he will just think he can play us. He is wasting away and starting too look quite ill, he has developed red blotchy patches on his cheeks recently which I think must be from not getting a balanced healthy diet. Don't want to keep calling hv every 2 mins. Sorry if this is long but just don't know what to do anymore, it's really getting me down.

I remember being at a conference on eating and drinking difficulties (I think for people with learning difficulties) many eons ago.

The speakers included a dietitian, dentist and pharmacist.

The dentists listened on with growing horror on their faces as they listened to the dietitian giving recommendations for maximising calories in the diet and the dentists talked about syrup forms of meds.

It is true that many recommendations for increasing calories do involve sugary foods. It is always a compromise and good dental hygiene as always is important.

Suggestion of straws is good.

< It is true that many recommendations for increasing calories do involve sugary foods. It is always a compromise and good dental hygiene as always is important >

What I should have added was 'but sometimes calorie intake needs to be prioritised over the worries about teeth'

However, it does sound as though most of the dcs here are limited mainly by variety of foods rather than calories.

'but sometimes calorie intake needs to be prioritised over the worries about teeth'

I would agree if it was a serious weight problem or likely to be long term in for example a case of special needs but for a kid going through a stage, no way, teeth are too important they need to last 80 years now. There are huge implications, medical and financial that the DC's cannot comprehend right now so we as parents have to guide them through it without stuffing them full of sugar after all what's not to like about that when you're 2 yo.

i am not sure sugary things help that much calorie-wise though

i'd be more concerned with getting higher FAT items in him than high sugar things

sugary cereals are full of crap. it's basically just sugar and empty calories.

chocolate i think is a good idea though, calcium AND fat.

Haven't read the whole thread but my son is 4 and only eats peanut butter or honey sandwiches, yoghurts or apple! (and some choc brands but not all, mainly buttons). Has been this way all his life! Docs say don't worry, I do worry.

He has his protein - peanut butter, diary - yoghurt, fruit - apple, carbohydrates - bread.
He eats better than most adults !

I agree that full fat diet is a better option for increasing calories than just high sugar on it's own.

I think most packet cereals are pretty dire, aren't they? Mine will occasionally have porridge ( they usually want it when we are running late, of course!) but then insist on emptying the sugar bowl into it

For those who are worried about eating out with other children who eat well, I know it won't help how you feel now but you can guarantee that, at some point in the future, the tables will turn and your dcs will be doing something perfectly that their dcs will struggle with and any smugness they feel will come back to bite them on the bum

Some good advice on here, I have a 2 year old who is rather limited in what he eats and seems to be becoming ever more squimish about wet / mixed up foods.

I made an appointment to see a dietician at a sure start centre, free and no referal all needed, and she offered the following advice;

• encorage messy play in general and also playing with food, don't fuss over mess/ hands etc

• try and keep offering food you want them to eat. I told her I always offered something I know he eats alongside this, she didn't disapprove of this

• keep calm and avoid getting into debates about eating or trying to distract him so he stays at table, ie stay neutral, he eats or doesn't, don,t praise or scold

• avoid juice drinks, they raise blood sugar levels and supress appetite. If you do give juice v v dilute

I kept a food diary which was reassuring , she said overall healthy

I am with you when you say how hard it is to eat out with other children who eat, but am learning not to worry as DS will soon pick up on this. I described my sense of disappointment in the fact my son has little interest in food compared to his peers, dietician seemed to this that this lack of interest was not nessesarily a bad thing, ie lots of overweight kids, so in the long run might serve him well

Sorry for typos am on an iPad ( ohhh get me) and am just learning the ropes

My DS (4) is also a majorly fussy eater. Meal wise the ONLY things he will eat are cheese and tomato pizza and chicken & mushroom pasta (the sort that comes in a packet, Batchelors I think it is)! Of course he will happily stuff choc/biscuits/sweets if given the opportunity to.

He will eat bread but only bread alone, all fillings are pulled straight out.

He will eat some fruits, mainly banana, raspberries and strawberries. He will eat no veg whatsoever. He will also eat things like yoghurt and ice-cream.

I swing between trying not to worry and just feeding him either pizza or pasta every day and then worrying and crying about it.

A few months back he had blood tests taken at the GP's (as had a funny rash) and thankfully nothing was untoward but however they said he was badly lacking in iron because of eating no meat and he's has been on iron medicine now for a while to bring his levels back up. Even the GP at that time not me not to worry about his diet and that children will eat what they want and you can't force them to be any different.

I give up quite honestly.

It is a real pain tho when eating out as a family in particular, we always have to go somewhere that will serve pizza otherwise the inevitable meltdown will happen.

All our friends' kids chow down on anything. 'S'embarrassing, 'specially as I'm being observed/judged because I'm the main childcarer.

My DS now 4 has just started trying new foods after being a fussy eater. I give him fish oils and multi vit each day which makes me feel better if nothing else.

The only small piece of advice I can offer is that he often seems to like food where he has to perform a task before he gets the food like peeling the little orange or the latest one is cracking or watching someone crack open a nut. Recently he tried kiwi because we peeled it together first. He loves chestnuts done out doors on the bar b q with Dad and then he has to peel them after. He goes to the alotment with my Mum and loves to take the peas out of the pod and eats loads of them.

Maybe a boy thing and obviously not practical with every meal but might be worth a try.