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What is wrong with son?? Please someone help Im getting so desperate!

33 replies

sleepyhorse · 02/01/2011 13:19

My DS1 is 2.5 years old and I am very worried something is seriously wrong.

About a year ago he used to say a few words and was even able string a couple of sentences together so we were happy and thought he was learning developing just fine. But for the last 7 months or so since DS2 was born he has stopped talking completely apart from a couple of words, one of those words being NEMO but what is strange is that he can't even say the whole word now, only managing to say MO. He seems to understand most things we tell him although he doesn't always respond or react when we call his name.

With regards to his behaviour, he doesn't really play with other children an awful lot when put in a group situation and seems to prefer playing alone a lot of the time. He is pretty affectionate but doesn't always maintain eye contact when you talk to him. He goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week and in his recent review when I asked how he was getting on and interacting with other kids, his teacher said it was more the girls who were playing more together as they tend to be more advanced, so I wasn't too worried.

He does not want anything to do with his baby brother who is now 7 months. From day one he has always blanked him and he behaves like he isn't in the same room as him. I know its normal to be jealous of a new baby in the house especially as he had had me to himself for first 2 years but this just seems pretty extreme, I think i could understand more if he became aggressive towards him as you read about that happening a lot. At least that would make more sense but its like he can't accept he exists.

He has recently started biting and pinching myself and my husband. My husband seems to think its a sign of affection but Im not so convinced.

Up until recently I had been quite relaxed about him and just kept telling myself he is a normal child and that all kids develop at different times. But over the Xmas period, we have spent a lot of time with family including his cousins who all seemed to play well together apart from my son. A couple of people in the family have implied that its clear something is wrong and that he might be autistic. This has been very hard and have found myself crying a lot as its hard for any parent to hear this about their child and I guess its been a wake up call for me that maybe there is something seriously wrong.

Do you think it sounds like he could be autistic? Or could it just be a case that he is so angry that I have had another baby and its affected him so much that this is his way of dealing with it by regressing?? Or could it even be he has a hearing impairment which is affecting his development and forming relationships?

Please help, I just don't know what to do or think anymore. I feel so desperate as I love him so much and like any parent just want the best for him.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
montysorry · 03/01/2011 19:27

Glad you're feeling more positive.

Just to clarify, the CHAT test will not diagnose, it will just give you an indication as to whether further investigations should take place.

Bringing his paintings over to show you is a very good sign.

MammyG · 03/01/2011 22:02

He may just not be interested in the baby at all. I know it seems severe but if he is not very social at the moment anyway then a baby is not going to do it for him! My DS1 only took to DS2 when he started moving around and interacting. They are best buds now.

DS1 was also under observation for a while as he didnt hit the markers for language. It all came in a rush as he got closer to 3yrs. Now he never stops talking!

That said I would still consider testing asap if you are worried. No harm in having it ruled out. On the off chance there is an issue the sooner it is highlighted and support gotten the better for your child.
Best of luck.

bullet234 · 04/01/2011 11:30

"Running over with paintings does not sound like Autism."

Sorry, I don't want to be a harbinger of doom, but both my lads are on the autistic spectrum. Ds1 is 7 (mid to high functioning for want of a better description) and loves drawing and loves showing us the pictures he has done. He gets very focused on them. Ds2 is 5 and has quite severe autism. He does not draw, but he loves bringing his favourite toys to us and showing us the noises and flashing lights they have. So I'm sorry, but bringing things to show does not automatically rule out autism.

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homeboys · 04/01/2011 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

montysorry · 04/01/2011 13:58

Bullet234, children with ASD all seem to present differently. There is a general opinion that children with autism aren't affectionate which, though this can be the case, is very often untrue.

Also, in my experience of working with ASD 6/7/8 year olds, they can very often do things then that they couldn't/wouldn't do at 2 but which the vast majority of NT 2yr olds do instinctivly. But, of course, I'm sure you know this.

I said it was a good sign because it is an indicator of joint attention which is a very good sign. However, as I said to the OP, if she has concerns she should push for a referral and not accept that 2.5 is 'too young to tell'.

bullet234 · 04/01/2011 14:05

I agree, it's impossible to know over the internet, so a referral would be the best option.

justaboutmaintainingorder · 04/01/2011 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooseyLoosey · 04/01/2011 14:26

I think you should seek professional help. There may or may not be anything the matter with your son - people on the internet simply cannot tell.

If you go and talk to someone, they can give you informed reassurance if there is nothing wrong. If there is a problem, the outcomes may well be more positive with early intervention and recognition.

For what it is worth, all my family consistently told me that there was something "odd" about ds and that he was not like other children. After an ed psych assessment, it turns out he is simply a very clever boy who had no interest in or understanding of his peers. As they all get older, he is fitting in better.

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