daughter 4 asks and asks

[monkeyflippers]

My lovely (but persistant) 4 year old daughter will ask for something (say a biscuit) and I will say yes I'll get you a biscuit after I've put your DBs socks on. So then I go to get the socks, walk back in and she asks again. I tell her again that I'll get the biscuit after I've put the socks on. Then I will be trying to get DS to sit down to have his socks put on and she'll ask again. Then once I've got one sock on she will ask again! In the end I explode!

I don't understand why she keeps asking. She has the intelligence to understand what I am saying so all I can think is that she is either just not listening to what I am saying or just speaking without thinking about what she is going to say and the consequences (me getting really mad as i always do when she won't stop going on!)

She has always been like this and it drives me crazy. I know it's only a little thing but having the same thing said to you over and over makes you potty and makes me feel stressed and hassled all the time. Also it means I have less patience for DS as DD uses it all up.

Any ideas?

She also argues about everything, acts like she is in charge and generally when she is in trouble about something (usually argueing with us) and we have told her to stop speaking for a while she just can't! She'll just keep going on and on and it drives us crazy! I often have to put her in time out just to stop myself doing something I will regret!

She sounds like a typical 4 year old to me! my DD aged 4 is exactly the same as yours, bossy, argumentative, thinks she knows it all, impatient, does not listen! Great eh? Enjoy it, because before you know it you will have a teenager who just grunts at you.

DD also says 'what is xxx?' it is 'blah blah' 'no, its not mama its zzz' 'what?!!! if you know why ask?!!!' that drives me mad.

i say a lot 'who is in charge here? you or me? who is the adult? Hmm HMMM?'

DD1(4 & half) exactly the same - agree with the other posters about lack of edit button & waiting five minute seeming AGES. DH also pointed out that sometimes (especially on long car journeys) she is just trying to make conversation but can't think of very much to say so keeps repeating herself. Chat (any chat) is better than silence for her. Tend to try to get her to repeat our answers but that only works v v occasionally! V tedious but think they all go through it - starts out as inquisitiveness & then becomes a silence filling tick.

Plus we adults spent most of our time either giving them orders or asking them questions.

If noise levels of a child are too high for a sensitive adult then, IMO, as the sensitive adults we have a responsibility to deal with it ourselves rather than being punitive. Suggest ear plugs, ear defenders, noise canceling headphones (but probably not all at once). I mean, screaming at a child for being too noisy is pretty ridiculous really, isn't it?

How about, "A biscuit"? " Gosh I'm not sure if we have any pass me those socks and we'll put them on your brother, then we can go and look"

"Can you pull them apart? excellent, right, which one shall we put on 1st? Right foot, left foot, lets go hunt for biscuits".

Please someone shoot me - I have 4 dc's -3 are capable of speech so far and they all do it! The above distraction technique is the only thing saving my sanity. I think it works partly on the basis that if I'm talking they aren't add in the distraction factor and it works!

The other thing to consider is how often do you get distracted and forget the biscuit?

Wait til you've got a 15 year old doing this about a haircut...........

Seeker!!! please!!! noooooo!!!!!!!!

I've had a week of "I need to get my hair cut before I go back to school" "Yes, I know - but the hairdresser's is shut - ring them on Tuesday morning and see if they can fit you in"

"Will I be able to get my hair cut before I go back to school?"

I don't know - ring on Tuesday morning and see if they can fit you in"

"Do you think I'll be able to get a hair cut on Tuesday?"

"I don't know"

"I need a hair cut before school"

"I know....."
And so, ad infinitum

eeek! . . . I do frequently forget the biscuit!

When my dd was around 5 - all I got was 'why'
So I'd start with a valid reason
Why
Go to because I said so
Why
Why do you think
Because of original valid reason

She's now teenager and her brother is now 5
Why
She starts with a valid reason
Why
Go to because I said so
Why
Mum it was really annoying when I asked why all the time wasn't it!!

So she can remember doing it, but can't give a reason why