My partner has quite a bad temper

[MazzzaG]

Hi, me and my partner have a 1 year old together and let's say the last year has been very stressful, you know a new baby and sleepless nights and all and the last few months we haven't really got on too well and seem to argue about everything down to letting the baby cry down at night to feeding him. Our baby now pretty much eats what we eat and loves finger foods so he likes to feed himself, but I noticed the other day that baby was refusing to eat and my partner was getting frustrated with him whilst feeding him and poked him which made our baby cry. He also shouted at him too which I think scared baby. It's happened twice this week where he's done something like that so I'm quite concerned. I confronted him about it and it ended up in a huge row, but honestly I'm a bit worried that he is taking his anger out on our baby. I get frustrated too but I'd never intimidate a baby and that's what it felt like he done. Do u think I have a right to be worried? Or am I just worrying for nothing.

Yes you do. It is not unusual for someone to be exhausted and with ahort fuse after endless sleepless nights and lack of "me" time/space. But it is unusual to poke babies out of frustration.

He needs to understand he is the adult in that situation and he is expected to act like one.

That is bad, MazzzaG. You definitely need to talk to your DP about it again, when he is in a calm mood. It is really unacceptable to poke or shout at a baby.

Thank you I agree with you both, I will talk to him again.

he needs to learn to walk away when he feels angry. it might mean putting son some where safe first but it has to be done.

he poked a baby?

an adult man poked a baby in frustration?? sorry but he would only get the chance to do it once to my child.

I think that sort of thing probably happens more then people like to admit. Most people like to think that they are perfect and would never react that way under stress but I'm not so sure. I think the reason you don't hear about it more is because people just aren't that honest and open about it . . . for obvious reasons.

Thank you for your message, he's actually never done it since and is extremely good with our baby and constantly playing with him, reading stories and making him laugh so I think that's why It shocked me. Anyway I dont think it's going to happen again.

All I can say is that I would talk to him but not in an argumentative, accusing kind of way just mention that you sometimes feel angry and frustrated too but you both need to realise he is just a baby and it's not the baby's fault. I was so frustrated with ds when he was a young baby that I litterally screamed at him to shut up . Not proud of it at all but I am not perfect. I haven't done it since and he's 3.5 yrs old now but babies are very frustrating and tempers can easily get frayed. Neither I or dh agree with smacking children and although we have never hit him, sometimes I do have to leave the room when he is acting up just to create some distance between us. Your dp needs to learn to do the same.