nearly 3yo ds and 3mo twins - what can I do to survive next week?

[MamaChris]

We have 12 week old twins who are only happy when held and only nap in the day when in slings, and a nearly 3yo ds1. Normally ds1 is in nursery when dp is at work, and there are only about 2 half days a week when I need to look after all 3 on my own. Next week, dp is at work, but ds1 is not at nursery, and I'm scared. I need ideas of things I can do to keep ds1 entertained whilst holding two babies. The ground is frozen outside and the babies are not happy in buggies. When slinging both I don't have a hand free to help ds1 with crafts/lego etc. Today has been a disaster so far, and I've no idea how I will get through a whole week of this. Please - any ideas?

I'm sure someone more helpful will be along soon but I didn't want you to go unanswered. I only have two kids, DD almost 2 and DS 10 weeks, but this is what I find works for us sometimes (and other times we descend into a sobbing mess to be honest):

• use the tv or dvds for the older child when the younger one needs feeding etc or you need a break
• would your DS sit next to you and hold a book that you can read him while you're holding the twins? DD quite likes doing this
• can you do dancing or hide and seek with the twins in the sling? I do this with DD when DS is in the sling (he won't nap anywhere else yet either). It's not a complicated form of hide and seek, I'll literally stand behind a chair and she thinks it's brilliant!
• I bought a load of those washable felt tips and I'll stick her on a chair with them and lots of sheets of paper and she's quite happy for a while. Yes, she colours her hands and the table too, but it all washes off so while it's not exactly a good habit for her, it's not a disaster! I just wander by every now and then with DS in the sling and comment on what she's doing or suggest things for her to draw.

And a final thought - have you got any good friends who aren't at work and could come round for an hour or so? Even if they have a child too, at least it's another pair of hands to sort things out...

Good luck and positive thoughts your way!

I had same situation with smaller gap, and I would advise that you try and get at least one baby at a time used to napping in a cot. It sounds draconian but the time will come when you won't be able to carry them both around and the sooner they get used to being put down to sleep (eventually it will be the same time, but even at different times it is worth perservering) the better. My twins like yours hated buggies, wanted to be held all the time. I did spend most of the time holding them and cuddling them when they were awake, but they had to learn to nap in a cot or I would have gone bananas.

I second the idea of getting a friend with another child round, if only to entertain the older child and make things feel less panicky.

Very upright buggy helped, and getting out was very important, even if just to someone's else house for a change of scene. In fact I think just getting out would be enough entertainment for most three year olds, supermarket, bus, walk round the block, ANYONE' house, even if very short walk.
Any other twin mums in the area you could have meet with so that you have another person to meet with who knows what you are up against? Twins Clubs sometimes have a contact who can put in touch with other people?

Also singing games, clapping games would probably thrill the babies when they were awake as well as three year old. ELC do very good action rhyme tapes. I would personally avoid anything like lego or crafts..
playdough possibly as it is so soothing and can be done alone and doesn't need mum to help much.

Reading stories with lots of rhymes and rhythm also went down well, babies loved that too.

Ready meals as far as possible, bread cheese that sort of thing, no ironing...please go easy on yourself good luck...

thanks. I'd been doing the story time during feeds, but had slipped the last couple of weeks. did it again today - it's time he can get my direct attention, so important.

singing/clapping, hide and seek also good.

how do you teach a baby to nap in a cot? if I put one down, s/he's awake in a couple of minutes, then too tired and crotchety to get back to sleep so I've just given up to make sure they get enough sleep. they can be put down for periods when awake tho, which is good.

getting out I was finding tough anyway, and now the pavement is a sheet of ice have given up. know this is bad for ds, he needs to run about, but just can't cope with the stereo buggy crying if I take him to park. (ds would always sleep in buggy, stumped why these won't).

yes, much better when people come by, but most are with family next week. (I normally work ft, and we haven't lived here that long, so I don't have a big network of people to call on). may resort to childcare.co.uk

but thanks, I have some ideas to start with :)

Where are you MamaChris?

12 week old in cot is easy to teach to nap. Try sleep threads for tips..

Basically you make sure the baby is fed, and winded. And not already overtired Two hours between naps at most is a good rule of thmb to prevent baby being "overtired".. it coud be earlier. You close the curtains and put on some lullaby music (sleep cues that they will remember next time) gently stroke the baby, tuck it in and say Sleepy Time! Sleepy Time. Then you leave, repeat until baby settles (may take 20 mins at first) and lots of repeat patting. Gets easier every time, soon baby will settle itself within a few mins of you leaving it. As long as not hungry or overtired.

You can stay there stroking baby in cot for a 10 mins if that helps at first so that they get used to idea that they are sleeping in a reassuring place with you near, but not holding them. Then move away once you see them beginning to drop off.

I've only a toddler and a singleton new baby, so I take my hat off to you. DH works long hours, and dd2 only sleeps in arms .

I try and get things set up when dd2 is awake eg get craft stuff laid out. then we have something ready when dd2 is asleep. Perhaps even get something set up the night before?

dd1 is also seems happier to play if I kind of commentate, or pretend to be a character, from the safety of the sofa.

I also find story cds, and comics with stickers invaluable.

Foxy we're in Cambridge.

swanriver, will get myself to the sleep threads! It can take over an hour to settle the babies at night though (and that's with me holding them) and they tend to need resettling as often as every 20mins during naps, so I suspect your 20 mins is on the optimistic side... we shall see.

Charlotte I am very impressed at your organisation, am so much living in the moment these days. story cds - good idea, we have those, must get them downstairs, and forgot the magic of sticker books.

Hoping it will thaw this week making it easier to get ds out of the house to run some of his excess energy off. also have a plan to create "obstacle course" with sofa cushions... may all end in disaster of course :)