nasty toddler to baby, help?

[quechelle]

eldest is 19m so 2 young to understand naughty seat but old enough to know ive told her off for doing wrong....and cheeky enough to carry on being nasty to her 6m baby sister. thowing toys at her head, slapping and she pinched her cheek hard enough to cut the other day....i try to equally share my time between them, occupy them and let big sis help me with little sis.....but still shes feeling jelous and it comes out as hurting her. help?

She's not nasty - she just feels displaced. Do you try to involve her with her sister? This can help. She might be a bit young, though. I have a 20 month old and she's very much a baby in our family but her older sisters are 9 and 7 so a different position in the family.....

I would say that, given that she's a baby the important thing is to try to have some time with her where it's just you two.

i get her to help with bath time and sometimes she will feed her lil sis a few spoons of food. i try to give them both time with me.... when baby has naps ill play with big sis and when i put her to bed at 7 little sis gets until 9 playing on her own with me. im not sure what else i can do, im hoping she will grow out of it fast because i dont think ther is a quick fix....she never used to be like it, its only really been over the last month.

i get her to help with bath time and sometimes she will feed her lil sis a few spoons of food. i try to give them both time with me.... when baby has naps ill play with big sis and when i put her to bed at 7 little sis gets until 9 playing on her own with me. im not sure what else i can do, im hoping she will grow out of it fast because i dont think ther is a quick fix....she never used to be like it, its only really been over the last month.

I disagree - I think many one and a half year olds would understand time out. Both mine did and it worked - although i don't believe it's the right approach for every issue. I must admit to having a no tollerence approach to hitting/whacking though and would want to firmly nip it in the bud and clarify the boundaries. For that reason i would calmly/quietly/quickly use time out for any aggression. At the end of the day though she is also clearly seeking more reasurance and more attention - and so maybe you need to step things up so her needs can be met. Play with her/praise her more and have fun together. I know it's hard with a young baby but can you have time on your own together?

I think SkyBlue is right - even removing your attention from her when she hits will give her the message that hitting doesn't get her more time with you. But balance it by praising her if she's playing nicely and give positive reinforcement when she's not showing aggression towards her sister.

She's still a baby at this point, and must be insanely jealous. I'm sure you're giving lots of extra love etc and to be honest I think this is just something that'll pass in time.

I'm so sorry for you meanwhile - must be horrendous to see and try to deal with.