3 kids..... what about your career??

[tostaky]

DP is talking a lot about a third child (DS1 is 2 and DS2 is 8 months) and im still undecided...

if you had a third child; what did you d? stopped working? found a family friendly job? got a nanny and worked as before?

does having a 3rd is harder than having 2 when it comes to your own "career"?

i had a pretty good job 2 years ago but having two children chnaged me and im not sure i want to go back to that competitive environment... at the same time, im not cut to be a SAHM and i still want a challenge, but 3 kids is going to be a hell of a lot of households chores and nervous input....
i dont know a lot of people around me with three kids so its hard to imagine what life will be...

Everyone is different. I worked incredibly hard to get what I believed was a perfect career (corporate lawyer, traveled the world all v exciting....), then I had children. I was back at it (and enjoying it) 6 months after DC1, in fact I had found the 6 months maternity leave very hard work and turned my life upside down and so it was a relief to be back at work (although I found myself suddenly hating the long haul stuff). After DC2 I felt differently and postponed my return for the full year and then resigned, although I ended up doing consultancy work 2 days a week. When 5 months pg with DC3 I suddenly just felt sod it, I've had enough and quit. I wasn't well, I was exhausted and something had to give. This precipitated a lot of changes in our lives as my job was London based not my DH's so since I quit we have moved to the country and everything has changed. I'm not working now. Life is different, we are poorer, I'm not 100% sure I want to be a SAHM (i never for one moment dreampt that I would be one!), but also I can't imagine going back to my old career. I am so unbelievably busy with 3 children aged 5, 3 and 1 that I can't really stop and think about it all, but in the odd moment that I do I imagine that once DC3 is a bit older I will go back to work..... not sure exactly as what... something legal I'm sure but it can't be what I did before. I am very very happy, which I find odd.... I always imagined that I was in some way defined by my career and my success, but it turns out that I'm not.

There is no answer really. I have other friends who are now high flying partners in their law firms or heads of legal with major companies even though their children are similar ages to mine, but for me that just wasn't how it worked out. Go with your gut feeling. If you have worked hard at your career then even if you stop for a while it hasn't been for nothing, your skills will still be there, you can use them again in a couple of years if you want to, so just do what you feel is right for you right now.

My choice has made me happy in ways I never expected, don't get me wrong, my children often drive me potty, and being a SAHM is a very hard grind sometimes but I know that the choice I made has been the right one for all of us.

I have 3 boys 10, 6 & 4 and work full-time and find it incredibly hard! There does seem to be a big step between 2 & 3. Luckily my DH works from home & does school runs & some housework. Trying to have it all takes it's toll. I wanted a girl but it wasn't to be & if I knew then what I know now I would have settled on 2, but obviously wouldn't be without any of them now. If you are lucky enough to have a career where you can work part-time then this is maybe the solution. Unfortunately this isn't possible for me. A lot of counseling has taught me change what you can but be happy with what you have

I have 3 - 5, 4 and 1.

I work full time. DH works full time, but shorter hours and some nights.

We have a PT nanny.

I don't think my career has been affected at all, but we were lucky.

I think it depends on circumstances. I have 3 dc 5,4 and 1, I am exhausted!!!School pick ups drop offs, various after school groups the list is endless also the every day running of the house. I havent been working since dc3 and before him I worked part time. I have found that if you work part time it does affect your career in terms of promotion etc, I believe that I have put my career on hold. I dont care anymore really:) It depends what support you have and what kind of childcare you can afford.We dont have any support so I want to be a sahm at the moment especially as my dh works long hours.

I have 3 DS (5, 3 and 15 weeks). Like cat64 I have found that DS3 just fits in with us and I don't find having 3 too much more taxing than having 2 TBH.

I work 2 nights a week and will be going back to work in March. Having DC has not affected my career, what has affected it is that since having them I'm not interested in career advancement.

I don't mean this in a "judgy" way, just that I personally am only bothered about earning the amount I need so that we can manage whilst having as much time at home with the boys as possible.

I do realise how lucky I am to do a job where I can afford to only work 2 shifts a week.

3 is VERY hard compared to 2, everyone I know with 3 children say the same.

I barely noticed the increase from 1 to 2, but 2 to 3 has been torture. BUT now that my DC3 is getting near to a year old I have found myself starting to really enjoy having 3. There was a moment the other day when all 3 were playing and laughing together and it was just so lovely. Also I have 2 boys and num 3 is a girl, I was very happy with my 2 boys but there is something wonderful about having a girl. But obviously would be happy with 3 sons too.

Took redundancy before I had num 3 and would have to go back to work full time in order to go back to my old career. I am not prepared to do this and so am choosing the SAHM path, probably for at least 2 years, maybe even until DD goes to school. Financially it would not make much sense for me to work full time when taking into account all the child care costs, but clearly this depends how much you earn.

thank you for your input! It is sooo hard to decide whether to go for it or not! obviously my decsion is not going to be base on this alone, but it is one of the factor..

Nelly and Haribo, i feel a bit like you, after DC2 i am no longer interested in career advancement but i really want to do something and not be SAHM.. just need to find the perfect part time job or the perfect business idea!!