Father - son talk

[NotANaturalGeordie]

My DSS is 14 and coming to stay for xmas. DH have agreed it's time for the talk - have checked with DSS's mum this is ok and now DH and I aren't sure what to include. DH wants to focus on the mechanics of sex, but I want him to cover relationships, respect for self and partner, when 'no means no' and so on. DH even suggested I talk to DSS but I think it's a father/son thing. Any tips/suggestions/thoughts?

Contraception and STIs..

However,what with sex education lessons at school,telly programmes (like 'Skins') and the internet, i would expect he knows a lot already.

The mechanics? He'll know that by now. I've just done sexual intercourse with my year 7s. Relationships is what needs to be done. He'll be doing it at school, but as a teacher myself I am very sceptical as to the quality of PSHE teaching about this area.

I think he needs to cover relationships and contraception. Supposedly that is covered in PHSCE, but as a teacher mysef, I get one hour to cover both (outside agencies do STDs, they get a morning, so 3 hours) I feel I need the hour just for contraception and it's a struggle to get even the key points across in that time. I discuss the kind of relationships and situations where sex is appropriate, protecting themselves emotionally and physically. I focus on condoms, as they are the only contraception that protects against STDs, we go through how to put them on, and the fact that they come in different sizes and materials, so everyone can wear them.

The mechanics have been done in Biology by now, if not in the playground before he even got to secondary school, that horse has bolted.

Most important as a father is that he opens up a frank dialogue, so that DS knows he can go to him with questions when he hears rumours, sees dodgy videos or is considering a sexual relationship in the future.