Tips for bedtime with two

[stickersarecurrency]

I know it's probably been done a billion times before but I'm stressing about keeping a baby happy and getting DS (3) bathed and into bed. DD really wants to be cuddled and fed from 4pm onwards. DS needs to be in bed between 6.30 and 7. DD may well be too tired to bath by that time of night. It seems like loads of time to put in, but also not enough IYSWIM? Help!

How old is the baby? Is there anybody else who can do DS's bath-and-bed for a few weeks? Failing that, have you a sling for the baby? Can she be persuaded to have a late-afternoon nap, at which point, regardless of whether it is the right time or not, DS gets his bath? It won't matter if he has tea in his pyjamas occasionally.

DD is 3 months. DP can be here sometimes, depending on shifts. This week it's back shift so I'm solo until next tuesday. So far we're having fish fingers for tea tonight and DS is going to write some Christmas cards now . As for DD having a late nap - she won't be put down to nap, let alone nap when it suits me!

I have btdt :) Poor you. Not sure it helps much but I can tell you my DD3 is now a year and I have absolutely no memory of how I did it. Which means that I have no good tips for you BUT we did it and survived and it is really mostly ok now!

I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I remember the first couple of months was really tough at bathtime. DD1 only wanted me to bath her and DD2 only wanted me to hold her. It thankfully didn't last for very long and for ages now I have just bathed them together. They both love that time in the bath together.

Our usual routine is now bath together, get into PJs, bedtime story, feed DD2 while DD1 goes to sleep. usually works a dream

It will pass. It's just painful when your DC each demands your full attention.

Much sympathy. I remember a good few times when the 3 of us ended up crying on my bed when DH was away - newborn screaming with colic, 2 year old crying because he desperately wanted cuddle and bedtime story and proper settling to bed and me feeling so torn and frustrated that in the end we just would all collapse on my bed and have a cry for 5 minutes.

I remember THAT bit, but not the bit about actually getting the 2 of them to sleep! So no good advice really, just huge sympathy.

Actually, thinking abuot it now, I recall that when DS2's colic was at its peak I just decamped to my mum and dad's whenever DH was away. It just got too much to deal with on my own more than a couple of times! I ended up missing out on evening meals, it was ridiculous.

oh just remembered.....I think regarding bathtime, I just took to bathing DS1 at a different time of day when DS2 was less whingey/clingy/tired.

At least it will pass, hurray! What's btdt??

Been there, done that?

I second boogeek's sling suggestion. I found it the only way to have my hands free at that sort of time in the first few months. Good luck.

Sorry, yes - been there done that :)

Doh of course! I do have a sling - she's getting big enough that it's restrictive but I can see her being in it most nights. Today she actually wants to be latched on all the time but that's hopefully cos she had a booster today. This too shall pass etc. What I would give to sit down with a large glass of wine and a huge bowl of pistachios and have my feet rubbed. Never mind, this time in 6 months it'll be plain sailing. I bloody hope!

Well, I had to yell DP's story over DD's screaming and I'm annoyed with myself for losing my temper with him when he was pissing around and not letting me wash his hair. But job done and he's in bed. NOW I get the message from DP that he's been sent home early before the road gets too bad!

DS - DP doesn't get bedtime stories!

Yes, it gets easier. Am trying to work out how to do 3 (in a month or so!)

TBh if dh wasn't there, I would often lie in the middle of our huge double bed and feed ds while dd (who was about 2.5) would fall asleep next to me. With any luck ds would fall asleep too. But mostly, I would bring him downstairs once dd was asleep - he didn't have a bedtime til 6mths I think. dd was used to co-sleeping muddle through though. Had a blissful month before dd dropped her naps where we'd all sleep together at lunchtime... didn't last long .

I remember some hellish evenings where I was texting dh to say I just could not cope... it does get easier

will DD sit in a bouncy chair for DS bathtime?

Do post back when you manage it - my DD is 2 & #2 is due in April, so I'll be going through this soon

I have a 26 month old and a 6 month old. It was hard in those early days but its much easier now. My husband is home at 5pm though so i have his help.

They both have there tea together, then bath together, then we dress them together. DD will then watch her bedtime programs/story books while i feed ds then they both go to bed at 6.30pm and thats that till morning usually. Its like clockwork, yes its boring doing the same thing every night but routine is key imo.If my husband is working late then i just try to stick to the same routine and muddle through... yes we will have tears from one of them or even both at some point but i manage.

It does get easier.

I have dd1 31 months and dd2 3 months. I bathe them in the mornings when everyone's calmer and has more energy. In the evenings when dd2 wants to be held all the time I make sure she's fed and then wear her on my back in the baby carrier (ergo) while I make and eat dinner and get dd1 ready for bed. She naps in it and lately when I do take her out she's happy to lie on her activity mat for a bit while I get dd1 ready for bed. I think it's because she's more rested from the nap. It's hard, isn't it!

Ugh i feel your pain - iIve got a 3mth old and a 3 yr old too. I tend too haul ds2's nappy changing gear and sleepsuit into the bathroom with us along with the car seat. Endure 5 mins of ds2's screaming whist getting ds1 washed then leave him to splash and play whilst i change ds2 and get him ready for bed on the floor. Then if ds2 is due a feed i feed him in the bathroom (lucky to be able to fit a chair in) whilst ds1 plays and splashes about. Ds2 just has to scream again in the car seat when drying ds1 and getting him into pjs. Occasionally watches quietly from carseat with the magic dummy (didn't resisit this time - dummies really do help - especially if a baby wants to latch on for comfort and you need to see to another child). then we all decamp to the sofa for a story. It is like the krypton factor! What keeps me going is the thought of a fat glass of wine and relative quiet once ds1 is sleeping and i just have the baby to rock/feed! Good luck - i'm right there with you!

i used to feed dd2 when dd1 was in the bath. then put dd2 in rocker whilst drying/ dressing dd1. then cuddle both for the story and get dd1 into bed. then feed dd2 and settle her once dd1 was asleep. it did sometimes mean dd2 screamed a bit whilst i got dd1 sorted but it was minimised by having had a feed. and it was hard to wash and feed at same time but whenever dh was home he could properly was dd1 in the bath (she didnt need a thorough wash every night ALL OVer, just make sure key areas are clean!). it was HARD. but we got through it, one night at a time. you will too.

Omg, dc2 due in 2 weeks and this thread has terrified me!! Sounds awful, eek!!

I struggled with this situation when DS2 arrived and DH went back to work (12hr shifts 7am to 7pm) and drafted in help from my folks for a few weeks. DS2 was very demanding with feeds (typical of a BF newborn).

After a couple of months things get easier, as your baby's routine starts to become predictable (feeding times, bathing etc).

What I usually do is put DS2 in the cot whilst I run the bath for DS1 (around 5.45-6pm) and then I bath DS1 (wash hair, face, body etc, brush teeth) takes around 5 mins, then I pick up DS2 from the cot and sit in the bathroom whilst DS1 plays for 10-15 mins (if DS2 is hungry I feed him in the bathroom whilst supervising DS1).

Once DS1 is ready to get out the bath I put DS2 back into his cot for a few mins and then dry DS1, get on PJs. I go back into my bedroom to pick up DS2 again, and then we all pile into DS1's room for a story or two, bedtime kisses and cuddles, and then I feed DS2 back in my own bedroom. DS1 quite happy playing with his Lego Duplo whilst I feed DS2 (by this time it's usually approaching 7pm).

It is tricky some nights, and can be quite stressful (DS2 is now nearly 6 months old, and DS1 is 3.8yo), but am relieved when DS2 falls asleep around 7pm-ish, and it's usually only DS1 awake til 8pm which he knows is lights out (and he is usually fine about switching out his own light by this point as he's knackered anyway).

It is getting easier as the months have went on, takes a lot of getting used to, esp if there are nights when you have to just get on with it by yourself with no other help.

When DH is around, the routine stays much the same. Just much easier for me as I've got some help for a change!

I think the thought of it is more daunting than the task itself tbh. I panic that I won't cope when I know DH has a shift coming up after he's been off for a 4 day stretch and he's back on for another 4 days/nights or a mix of the two. Once he's back for a few days though I seem to just cope brilliantly. I suppose you get used to it after a bit.

Try not to worry, things will settle down for you OP.