Moving Ds to another school - quite emotional about it

[RawDEal]

Posted in primary but I guess it fits here too.

DS is 10 and a bit of a live wire. He's very easily led and can be quite disruptive. He makes friends with all the wrong people and the group of friends he has are well known for being the trouble causers of year 5. Last friday, he was beaten up by a group of them on the way home from school "for a laugh". Monday morning - they greeted him as if nothing had happened, they don't see it as abnormal behaviour. They're just mini-hooligans.

Anyway I have decided to move DS to another school. It's the feeder school of his chosen secondary school (at his current school NOBODY is going to the same secondary so he'd start alone) and one of the best primary schools in the city (recently branded "outstanding" by osted.

I've just been to take him around and meet the head (who was lovely). The school was lovely, the children looked lovely, one class was sat there silently on laptops, another class was singing a song in french with the teacher on guitar, in another class a year 5 boy was giving his class a powerpoint presentation - it's a briliant school.

So why do I feel so sad?? I don't know if its because deep down, I know my son will probably take his problems with him. I worry he won't make friends with "nice kids", I worry the "Nice kids" will see him as a trouble causer and stay away from him, I worry that I'm disrupting him dragging him away from a school he's known since he was 4 ....

he starts after christmas. Am I doing the right thing? He seemed to really like the school and I asked him what he would pick if it was totally his choice and picked the new school. Why am I worrying so much??
I feel so guilty.

I think it's the change for you and the hope you have for it to be better for him, which sounds like it definately will be. Kids seem to breeze through new situations and we parents wrap ourselves up in knots with worry and the ability to trust our decisions.

I moved primary schools in the last year to a whole new area and emma the girl they say me next to on my first day is still a really good friend 35 years on.

It sounds like you are doing your very best for him which is all you can do. Just think of all the positives that will come out it, new friends, environment etc.

You have done the right thing!

can you chat to him about this being a fresh start and he can put his best foot forward?

It is totally natural to worry and feel upset. As well as being anxious about him settling in I suppose you are partly mourning the fact that you need to move him, that his education and friendships haven't worked out so far as you would have wished...

Thank goodness your son is positive about it. Well done you for having the courage to do it.
It HAS to be better than his old school.

It is definitely the right decision. Good luck!

I moved my two when they were in reception and yr 4

although I knew it was the right decision, I cried absolute buckets

I very quickly realised though, it was one of my better decisions

your son will get a chance now, without the bad influences he had before

good luck to you both x

I honestly think you are doing the right thing.

I was moved primary's 3 times as my dad changed jobs often and I found it hard so I would be the first to say don't do it if your reasons didn't seem right.

In this case I think you are absolutely right. You need to give your son a chance at this crucial age. He probably finds the peer pressure stressful anyway. Good luck.