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Parenting

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Original poster

No space for baby to have a room of her own...am I worrying for nothing?

15 replies

maltymoo · 12/12/2010 21:30

We are a family of 4, and have just moved to a 2 bed flat to try & save some money.We co sleep, anyway, but up to now DD (10 months)has always started the night in her own room, & comes in with us after the first night waking.She now starts off in her own bed in our room.Her sharing a room with DS is not an option, as he is 13 & needs his own space.I'm just wondering if any of you have experiences of room sharing with LOs, how you felt/managed. I seem to be feeling a bit guilty & stressed out right now...could be the effect of the move, I guess...but am just missing those first few hours of the night feeling 'off duty'!And strangely, considering I am fine with co sleeping, worrying about the effect on my DD of not having her own room.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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RockinRobinBird · 12/12/2010 21:38

My nearly 3 yo has two rooms of her own; the nursery we lovingly decorated and the big girls bedroom we lovingly decorated. She has never spent so much as 40 winks in either . If it wasn't for dc2 on the way now I'd have my two spare rooms back!

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2010 21:40

i have space for ds3 not to be in my room, but he is because it's easier!

he is 18 months

you probably just feel strange because it's all new and you've downsized and you're worried. but it'll be fine. she will like it, it'll be easier for you... don't sweat the small stuff!

whydobirdssuddenlyappear · 12/12/2010 21:42

We do this with our dd too. She's 3. There's no room in ds's room for a bed for her, and we only have two rooms. It isn't a problem at all as yet, and although I know it can't stay this way for ever, for now it works just fine.

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RockinRobinBird · 12/12/2010 21:46

God that was really thick of me talking about spare rooms, sorry . I was just trying to illustrate that chances are your baby will be happier with you anyway.

Original poster

maltymoo · 12/12/2010 21:48

Ha!yeah...I don't know why its been getting to me, really as realistically she never spent more than a few hours in her own room, anyway.Think its cos I stupidly just googled something about babies sleeping in with parents & a load of stuff came up about it being illegal/unhealthy afer a year old!!Which I know is ridiculous cos DS slept with me till he was about 3 anyway!Sigh...thats what you get for vulnerable post move googling sessions I guess..I should know better!
You never know, RockinRobin..maybe your next DC will be a lovley sleeper!

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Onetoomanycornettos · 12/12/2010 21:48

In many cultures, this is perfectly normal and the idea of everyone having a separate room is just bizarre to them. I think it's fine for now, later on you can review but it will get more and more common as people have to make choices driven by finances. Having one child per room is a luxury, and I'm not sure it's even beneficial at a young age (my second would love to sleep in with my first, but my first prefers her privacy)

Original poster

maltymoo · 12/12/2010 21:53

..hey don't worry rockinrobin...no offence taken..although I am a bit jealous about all your bedrooms!
Thanks for all your thoughts.I feel a weight lifting already...I do seem to be making a bit of a specialty of sweating the small stuff lately,thisisyesterday..need to remember the art of chilling.

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ChippingIn · 12/12/2010 21:55

RRB - yes, I did think that was a spectacular display of 'foot in mouth' - but clearly well intentioned!

I don't think it's ideal for you, but needs must and all that. As for DD, she doesn't know any different - so don't worry about it. Hopefully by the time she does need her own space you will be able to move or DS will be ready to move out?!

suzikettles · 12/12/2010 21:56

We share with ds who's just turned 4. It's not something I advertise because I'm embarrassed that we're still in such a tiny 1 bed flat, but tbh it's ok - not ideal but ok.

If you'd told me 4 years ago that we'd still be sharing a room with our dc, or that we'd still be in that flat, I'd have been horrified but after the year we've had I'm just glad we hadn't moved because the only thing that's kept our head above water is our tiny monthly mortgage payment and low bills.

Ds has his own room if we're at my mum & dad's or on holiday and has no problem adjusting to sleeping on his own.

When we need privacy we use the living room. Tbh, it's big enough that if we really wanted to we could move a bed in there. It's an option I keep thinking about as I do worry ds would get teased if his friends knew he didn't have his own room - we need to do something about it fairly soon but hopefully we'll be in a position to soon anyway.

Until he was about 3 though it's not something that bothered me at all.

forevermore · 12/12/2010 22:57

DD2 in our room and will be for foreseeing future. She is 16mths. No spare room and don't wNt to disturb DD1 who has started school so it's easier for her this way. I shared with 3 sisters till I was 14 and older ones moved out so I guess I feel it's normal but maybe not the norm for this society IFYSWIM. I know people who have kicked out their babies from 6 weeks and that their NORM. Certainly not mine. I don't trust intercoms

chocolatebuttontheif · 12/12/2010 23:10

DS 2.6 is still in our room, we're also in a one-bed flat. We're buying a 4-bed house next week so he will have his own room once it's decorated. It certainly hasn't been any trouble having him in with us though, I'd do it again if we had to.

Like suzikettles we also use the living room .
I've spent so long thinking how nice it would be for DS to have his own room I've only just realised how nice it will be for DH and I to have our own room again IYSWIM

OnEdge · 12/12/2010 23:22

Just a different angle, there will come a day when it is not possible to co sleep when they are older, make the most of these precious years when you can do this. She will go to sleep and wake up with her parents who are her world, its lovely, make the most of it.

I am renting a HUGE house and we all sleep in two rooms, as long as everyone gets a good night's sleep, I don't care who sleeps where (we are a family of 5 )

I think that one day when I am older , I will look back on these times fondly and be glad that we did it.

OnEdge · 12/12/2010 23:25

I don't know of any other animals that sleep separately from their young, it seems natural to me.

Original poster

maltymoo · 13/12/2010 21:00

Thanks everyone...some very valid points, & reminders for my tired & over emotional brain!Good to know I am not the only one.And actually, 'using the front room' might be quite fun.

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Clowance · 13/12/2010 21:45

DS is 5 and we still share a room (always have done). We each have our own bed but they are just in the same room.

It's not much trouble really, although I would love to have a room to myself, but there's no other way until I can afford otherwise.

It doesn't appear to have done him any harm.

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