why am I so STUPID.....

[harpsichordcarrier]

sorry, long rant...
I am having lunch with dd, who on a normal day eats absolutely bu88er all. Really never get wound up by it, trying so hard not to make an issue of it.
well today she is eating homemade courgette soup with a spoon, crackers and cheese, ham, tomatoes.... this is a miracle on the scale somewhere between walking on water and loaves and fishes (apols for any blasphemy).
then she starts to eat a lump of laughing cow cheese, doesn't like it, starts to spit it out.
I raise my voice and tell her to swallow it. She retches and cries!
next - for her = cuddles, strawberry mini milk on the sofa. for me = crisis of confidence....
WTF was I thinking of, really? why would I care about her spitting something out?? please someone tell me I haven't scarred her for life... this parenting thing is harder than it looks.

At least she didn't vomit the whole lot up!

If I were you, I would tell her you are sorry you shouted but if she doesn't like something in future, she should politely remove it from her mouth, not spit it out. In other words, get away from the issue of what food she ate/wouldn't eat and pretend it was all about basic table manners instead.

I know where you're coming from - my ds generally seems to live on air, and no matter how laid-back I am about it, sometimes (OK, a lot more often than sometimes) I over-react as well...crisis of confidence follows.

Lonelymum's idea is excellent: make it about table-manners, rather than food. I always tell my ds that I won't serve him something that I know he dislikes, but if I serve him something new I expect him to taste it. He can eat it if he wants to, but he doesn't have to eat it if he doesn't want to. Anything he doesn't want to eat should be left on the plate. I won't allow spitting (food should be removed discreetly from the mouth) or pushing food off the plate.

My dd4 aged frequently spits food out We remove her food when she does it and 'try' to explain that its rude to spit food out at the table but at such a young age It's difficult!

Just one of those things that happens IMO. Great idea to save the situation from lonelymum.

I know, thanks everyone. it was indeed the table manners thing, but even then I'm not that bothered about really. Just tired and grumpy today, and I just felt really stupid that I might have undone months of calmness about the food issue with one ratty outburst. She is calmly eating a yoghurt now, though, so maybe not.
thanks!