older and younger children...together.

[bb99]

OMG - I am at the end of my rope.

DC1 (nearly 15 and academically talented) and dc2 (nearly 4) seem to be completely incapeable of being in the same space together without close adult supervision.

I have tried giving older dc strategiesd for dealing with the younger sibling, but they obviously just cannot be bothered to use them, what with being a teenager and all, and I have tried being very upbeat and posative.

I have tried disciplining them both, getting them to 'work together', giving older one stickers to use with the younger one to bribe, adding a pocket money element to the older one for posative behaviour with the younger one, discussing why they think it is so hard for them to co-operate...

I have tried reasonning with the younger one even (desperate)...

BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO FECKING WORK.

If I come upstairs, or go to the toilet, inevitably it all kicks off and someone ends up in tears etc etc etc

I am soooo fed up with this - I needed to check some emailed info for DC1 NOW (hence being on the net and listening to the sweet screams from downstairs) All I asked them to do was to put some toys back in the box, but oh no, 2 minutes after I come up the stairs they are at it - couldn't even turn on a computer without having to go back downstairs and read them the riot act.

I have not had good or consistent sleep since the beginning of October, I am 7 months pg (how stupid to think about having another one!) the DWP are chasing me about a claim I had OVER 12 years ago, WTF is that all about? and my current kids are unable to be in the same room as each other for more than a nano second. I am so screwed it is unreal. Oh, and DH is fab, he just works REALLLY long hours and is threatening to take paternity leave - which will be bloody awful.

I was working, studying and babysitting at age 15. OK younger siblings can be a real pain, but surely if DC1 tried a little, there could be a bit more harmony???? Maybe I am just being stupidly optamistic?? I just wish they would get on as well as they do when I am in the same space as when I am removed by a few metres...

Any ideas for cracking this or a magic solution would be fab!

Same boat....waiting for advice to come along too!

No idea ...I would expect a 15 year old to be tolerant of a 4 year old

Tolerant to a point. Yes, I expect a bit more too!

We have had a discussion about it tonight.

DC1 is a bit hopeless at perseverence and gives up trying at the first sign of no success. DC2 often needs a second 'strategy' to distract / get them to do what you want.

Tomorrow I am going through different strategies with DC1 (again) on smaller child management. We will write them out and discuss them...and their various merits.

We have discussed empathy and engagement ie when telling DC2 what to do, or to stop doing something, actually making eye contact, turning TV off etc and talking to DC2, EXPLAINING things to them, using more tone in voice than monotone.

Also discussed how my expectations of what DC1 is capeable of achieving (ie a slightly harmonious relationship / rub along) doesn't seem to match their expectations (I can't get dc2 to do anything says DC1 - absolutely right if you don't talk / discuss / engage with dc2!)

Well, tomorrow is another day and perhaps we will all get along a bit better...