Tell me it gets better - 12 day old baby and finding it tough to cope

[emmyloo2]

Hi there,

I think the title of the thread says it all. I have a 12 day old DS, who is lovely. However, I must admit I am not really enjoying this mothering thing as much as I anticipated. I have a gorgeous, wonderful DH and my Mum is here staying with us but I am still finding it much harder than I ever dreamed. I am used to stress as I have a demanding stressful job but this is even more exhausting. I am breastfeeding him every 2-3 hours and then change him and settle him back to sleep. Then I get a short break before doing it all again. He is feeding at around 10.30pm and then once in the middle of the night and then again around 8am. I know I should be grateful for this but I still find it absolutely draining. It's just constant and I find I dread the feeding sessions. My nipples are quite sore although I am using Lanisoh. I have had his latch checked and it is all fine. He seems to feed a lot and is gaining weight.

So there are no real issues but I find it so restrictive and so exhausting even though I feel like I am just sitting around the house. I can't take him out in the pram because of the snow but I am trying to get out of the house myself for an hour each afternoon while my Mum watches him.

Does it get easier? When do they start feeding less and interacting more? I know I may sound unrealistic but I am just shattered and would appreciate any advice or reassurance that it will get better.

Thanks!

Definitely leave the books alone, for a few weeks anyway. I was a slave to them with my DD1 and without doubt it made me more stressed. I have a 3 wk old DS1 and am enjoying it so much more, not just because I know what I am doing a bit more but because I am going with the flow. If he falls asleep on me, great - he is lovely and snuggly and I am treasuring having a warm little person cuddled up to me, if he wants to fall asleep whilst he's eating, great - it means he is happy and content, if he wakes up for more food after 20 mins so be it, that's what I'm here for. You can't spoil such a little person - enjoy and if you want to go down the books route then wait until he is more used to the world and you are more used to him. Good luck -sounds like you are doing great already.

ignore the books, im sure nearly all babies fall asleep @ the breast @ that age! doesn't mean he will stick to that habit forever
just enjoy him, you feel there is nothing wrong with these things so don't let books guilt trip you. they are there to be helpful if you need them but if you don't find something helpful then just ignore!

Glad that you're feeling more upbeat. It really is tough coping with the 'new normal' when you have a baby especially your first.

I'd second podster and Firawla in taking the books with a pinch of salt to begin with. My DD2 fell asleep at the boob for the first 10 weeks and now settles fine on her own in her moses basket. Just do what feels right for you and your baby. Trust your instincts and you'll both be fine.

Hope the journey home goes well and that you have a great first Christmas with your baby.

I was a slave to the books with DS1 and convinced I was doing it all wrong, breaking some rule somewhere ... at some point, around two or three weeks old, it hit my that he was my son, I could do what I liked with him (within reason) and tere was not someone hiding waiting to catch me out.

It felt great to realise that!

He is now a strapping, well adjusted 17 year old, but I still remember feeling just like you do now.

For what it is worth that is a normal feeling, go with the flow and take whatever sleep you can, when you can.

Ignore the books! DS is 14 weeks and am stopping feeding to sleep now as he's starting to learn to self settle. IMO feeding / rocking to sleep is essential in the early weeks for sanity!

Hi my DS is 7 weeks and i'am feeling a little overwhelmed still. Posted about him as i feel he was unhappy.
I too have felt like what have a done?? A few weeks ago i was so upset felt my baby would be better off with someone else who could make him happy. It is hard work more than i ever imagined. But hes my baby and things will get better with time.

I'am getting more sleep now as he sleeps 3-4 hr blocks at night so i feel more human again.
I'm not bf though i did in begining but couldnt keep up with the demand and he ended up dehydrated. Could u express at night so hubby/mum can help?
Take comfort that ur not alone!!

It gets easier.
At about 6-8 weeks they start to smile at you :)

@PeterpiperpickedapeckofpickledPEPPAS well considering she posted this approximately 12 years ago I sincerely hope it’s better for her by now 😁😁

Zombie 🧟‍♀️ thread!

Yep, I realized as soon ad I’d posted. I’ve reported the spam post.

@PeterpiperpickedapeckofpickledPEPPAS I was going to post a response myself and only by chance noticed the date! 😁