Punishment

[0karen]

A friend of ours slapped her daughter who is nine for being naughty

I pointed out you shouldn't do that these days

She said that sending them to their rooms, taking away toys, ipods and games or preventing them from doing things like going swimming or shopping is abuse too just a different type, can equally lead to resentment and there is no real difference

I was slapped as a child and had no problems, in a way I preferred to get my punishment over quickly, I think

I have never hit my girls, never felt I needed to

What does everyone think, is taking away privileges away no different to a slap

Taking away privileges from my daughter does not seem to lead to any change in her behaviour at all - she really does not care (at least in the moment when it happens).

We do not smack her, I was smacked as a child though and there's no way I would have talked to my parents they way that she talks to us. So I think smacking would be a better option BUT I do not do it - just don't want to go down that route, it's not acceptable the way it was in the 70s and I am hoping that my daughter will learn right from wrong without it.

Well, no, taking priviledges away is just showing the children the consequences of their behaviour- if you overstep the boundaries, the world won't treat you nicely when you grow up sort of thing.

Hitting a child is the same as hitting an adult or even worse. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And children treating others with respect should come from that- having respect- not out of fear of being hit.

Well winnybella I do agree but it doesn't seem to bear any fruit with my daughter. Any tips to gain her respect would be most welcome as I have no idea where I am going wrong (see my post asking for advice!!)

Of course physical punishment is different from non physical punishment.

But at the same time they are both deliberately hurting the child in order to teach them a lesson and they can both lead to the child focusing on their resentment rather than reflecting on what they have done wrong.

But I use this argument to justify not sending to room, confiscating toys and cancelling planned trips. I can't see how it can be a justification for slapping!