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Original poster

Smacked DS hard. Feel awful.

36 replies

helpscaredstupid · 04/12/2010 15:55

Have been under massive pressure but no excuse.

Today lost my temper and smacked DS 4 on the face.

Want to kill myself.

Have cuddled, apologised, sat and had time with him, gave him a compress for his face.

But feel very low and dark.

I am an awful Mummy, i've never done anything like this before. What will happen?

My baby.

DH has been really undertnading and has just taken DS out to the shop for a boys trip out. DS is absolutely fine.

I can't believe it's happened. I lost my rag.

Will I lose him?

I hatemyself.

Have namechanged for obvs reasons

:(

OP posts:
roundthehouses · 04/12/2010 21:28

Oh god I know how you feel. I am 29 weeks pregnant so quite hormonal and not being as patient as I could/should/would like to be. A couple of weeks ago ds was being a NIGHTMARE and he is normally such a sweetheart but it was one of those days. He was going ON AND ON AND ON and after a warning I told him I was conviscating a favourite toy for the night and that if he behaved himself he could have it back in the morning.

He totally flipped out and spat.in.my.face Shock and immediately my hand whipped out and I slapped him. We both just stared at each other and he shouted "DON´T HIT ME" really indignantly. I was mortified but just grabbed him in a hug and said "I´m sorry i shouldn´t have done that, that was naughty of me, i´m sorry" and he then said he was sorry too. The rest of the night was fine, a couple of times he has brought it up but only the bit about him spitting at me, he has never mentioned me hitting him.

I felt ATROCIOUS and dh came in coincidentally just after it happened and I blurted out "he spat at me and i slapped him and i´ve said i´m sorry" and dh kind of looked a bit bemused about it all.

Anyway, just saying you aren´t alone. I was the one pre kids making a big song and dance to dh about not smacking etc and we haven´t so of course i felt a right knob that i was the one to do it. I did have a good think about it all and did beat myself up a little bit but just to make sure I hammered home to myself that this wasn´t to become a default setting. But we all mess up.

tinky19 · 04/12/2010 23:26

I hope you are feeling better OP, you sound like a wonderful mum as you have recognised your slight failing.

MrManager · 05/12/2010 02:41

tinky19 hitting a child in the face is not a slight parenting failure. But at least she regrets it.

earwicga · 05/12/2010 04:59

Definatly not slight but hopefully the OP has scared herself enough not to let herself get into that position again.

NellyTheElephant · 05/12/2010 20:00

I did something like this to my DD1 about a year ago when she was rising 5. I just flipped and lashed out at her, like you I was under a LOT of stress at the time. She hadn't even done anything that bad (it was a straw that broke the camel's back moment). She was absolutely fine and it was a wake up call to me. I had a calm chat with her later and apologised and explained that hitting was never acceptable and that if I ever did anything like that again she needed to tell Daddy / Granny immediately. It had a good effect on me as I sorted myself out a lot in the way I had been behaving and stressing about stuff. She's happy as larry and loves me as much as ever as I love her.

She has never forgotten though and has a nasty habit of saying at inappropriate moments (if someone is talking about fighting or being cross or something), do you remember that time you hit me mummy.... arrgggghhhhh!!!!

Don't wallow, pick yourself up and use this as a lesson. I got myself a little note book and started jotting down things when the children were driving me insane. It really helped me get perspective on stuff as it all seemed so silly when I looked back at it later!

Preggersplayspop · 05/12/2010 20:06

I was slapped once as a child, by parents that were dead against hitting as a punishment.

I can still remember it vividly, but I love my dad no less for it happening.

MoonUnitAlpha · 05/12/2010 20:10

My dad was telling me the other day that he once smacked me, much harder than he intended too, when I was messing about in the middle of the night and deliberately waking up the baby. He was exhausted and just lost it and hit me far too hard.

This happened 25 years ago and it still troubles him! I don't remember it at all.

girliefriend · 05/12/2010 20:21

I was in this situation about a yr ago, I lost my rag with my dd who was about 3.6yrs at the time, I reacted badly when she went to hit me in the face and smacked her on the back of her legs. I felt ill afterwards and shook for the rest of the evening. I spent a long time with my dd and we both said sorry Sad It was a turning point for me as I never wanted to feel that awful or out of control again. I am pleased to say it has never even nearly happened again as if I feel myself beginning to get wound up I physically remove myself from the room to take a few deep breaths! I was smacked as a child and I don't believe it has really damaged me. I think most of the time I'm a good mum and I adore my beautiful girl but parenting is bloody hard work!! Hope you are feeling better now, I think the fact that you are reflecting and feeling bad means that you human and a normal mum!

CharlieBoo · 05/12/2010 20:29

Don't be hard on yourself, these things happen and we've all been there...

poshsinglemum · 05/12/2010 21:09

I was smacked and worse by my parents. I still love em. Chill and hit a pillow next time.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 22:02

I hope you have all had a nice day today and that things are back to normal. Hopefully you can start to sort out some of the things that are stressing you out! :)

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