Proposal for unconditional parenting discussions - this is not a normal thread but a MN proposal!

[Simic]

This is more a mumsnet question. It seems to be a common thing in several threads, that people who are interested in unconditional parenting want to discuss particular aspects of it, but other people get annoyed by these discussions.
I wonder if it would be more appropriate for us to raise our UP questions under "Books, Adult non-fiction" rather than under "Parenting"???
Everyone interested in UP would need somehow to know where to look.
But, I think there are quite a few of us who know where we want to go with parenting, think UP describes our goal reasonably well, but are muddling through trying to find out how to get there.
Maybe, it would be a good idea to classify the posts as a discussion of the book (and related books/ideas) rather than as general "parenting", as it seems that a lot of people stumble onto the posts in "parenting" and just get annoyed by it and the discussion that ensues is not really helpful for anyone.

What do people think of this idea???

I see this is already happening on this thread. UP isn't about acting neutrally to everything!

I personally think it would be a shame to have a closed group only with invited members.
Just that I notice that on almost all other posts on some other topic, people tend to post only to reply to the original post. But as soon as UP is mentioned anywhere or anything UP-like is discussed, there are a lot of responses which don´t reply to the original post but just bring up the same stuff again and again irrelevant to the original post. And they can get quite derogatory.
Maybe that is the way forward: to explain that at the beginning of a thread in what you called a "safe thread". I for one am happy to have non-UP suggestions and I know I can´t improve my own ideas without criticism. But, similarly I don´t want to spend all my time on MN wading through loads of repetitive responses which aren´t meant to relate to the original question. Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts/suggestions.

I wouldn't have found out about UP if it hadn't been discussed in the Parenting section as I rarely go into the Books topic.

I agree it is pretty pointless when these threads inevitably descend into trashing of what people believe to be UP but which invariably actually isn't!

Maybe one answer is just to post to answer the OP and not be sidelined into explaining or defending UP to folk who don't know what it is?

What if they are genuinely interested?

I think that is why it's useful to keep the discussion in it. UP is a difficult and little-known concept but I think aspects of it can be useful even if you do decide to take a more structured approach, so it's helpful for people to be able to read about it if they might not have come across it before.

Like NoelEdmunds I wouldn't have known that UP existed without seeing threads in here abouut it.

I think a safe thread is a great idea.

If peole are "genuinly interested" surely they canpost in the thread.

If they want a scrap they can start their own thread.

Which all UP types will apparently ignore as we don't like confruntation...supposedly

I'd like a UP Support Thread. Surely that's enough, and people will have decent manners. If not, totally ignoring shit-stirrers usually makes them go away pretty quickly.

I also wouldn't have found out about UP if it hadn't been in Parenting. It's the best discovery I've made in Mumsnet (that and the existence of bookdepository.co.uk). Please let's not hide it away, and please let's not wrap it in cotton wool, or avoid a (sensible level of) discussion/challenging of views. Genuine shit-stirrers can still be easily ignored. And as Bertie said, UP isn't an all-or-nothing thing.

It is hard to ignore the shit-stirrers - the really smug ones - but I reckon we can do it if we try...

The additional problem with off the beaten track is that it gets deleted 30days after the first post.

I think a safe thread should do it. If not what have we lost.

I don't like the idea of being private as people who might be open to the idea won't know about it or see it being mentioned here and there. I'm only just beginning to investigate the idea myself, DD is 9 months. DH is pulling faces so we've a DVD from the library .

I would really like a safe thread. Atm it's easier to go to another forum where UP isn't so hated to discuss problems, unfortunately the other forum is quite small.

I think UP is completely nuts, but support entirely the idea of a safe thread for those who do not share my views. I hope you try it, and it works.

Of all the UP threads I've read (which isn't all of them, admittedly), the only time I've seen someone be stupidly rude is LeQueen the other day. Other than that, there have been some interesting discussions.

I think it's quite useful, when commenting on the effectiveness, or not, of UP, it helps to have actually read the book, or at least watched some of the videos available on Alfie Kohn's website.

Otherwise, criticism is not usually accurate, constructive or helpful.

The weird idea that UP means no conflict is just...well very ignorant.