Would love to hear any advice/support, I feel like I am about to go loopy soon...sorry it's long.
Have 2 DCs, one is 9 months, and the other nearly 3 and in the constant-questions stage. I don't really have it that bad compared to many, have got a DH who is pretty good when he is here (though his work hours have recently increased, so he is out from 7am-6pm weekdays now, and I have to do all the getting up etc alone) and I do get a bit of child-free time - gran has them both for a few hours most weeks (though not every week as she is sometimes away, like this week), and DS is in childcare 1 day a week too, so then I just have baby. But I still end up being driven completely mad when I have them both on my own all day, or especially when it's a few days in a row...
I used to try to get out every day and ideally meet friends (or at least people...) which helped, but this is getting harder now; a lot of friends are back at work or have kids in childcare on different days, so there is often nobody around to meet. I still try to get out to toddler groups and things, but it is always hard work as it takes ridiculously long to get everyone ready and fed in the morning, and DS always says he doesn't want to go anywhere and is totally uncooperative about getting ready, even though he generally enjoys it when we do get out (and then says he doesn't want to go home, typical). It is like pulling teeth though... I am usually up at 7 (at latest) but it still takes us till quarter to 9 to even start breakfast, and then often nearly another hour to finish it(!). And the snow this week is just making it harder to get out.
This morning was typical, I had to nag DS constantly before he would get dressed and then finish his breakfast, he has been "why-ing" and whinging at me all morning, I didn't manage to get everyone into the car until 10.15 to get to a group that starts at 10.30 and is about 20 minutes' drive away, and then I still needed to clear the snow away from the wheels so I could get the car moving, which there was obviously not time for by then, so I had to give up. So now we are stuck here at least all morning, and as it's started snowing again now (and it's very hard to push the double buggy in this snow) probably all afternoon too - and possibly tomorrow as well [cabin fever emoticon].
I just want to know how I can get less infuriated by the whole thing, and stop getting so mad with DS especially - I would never hit him or anything, but keep ending up yelling at him and just being generally grouchy and horrible (and upsetting the baby too).
But I just get so frustrated with all the climbing/leaning/rubbing on me, the endless questions, the whining (DS likes to pretend to be the baby... jealousy I guess? though he tends to get most of the attention anyway as she is quite good-natured), the way all the mundane rubbish like DS going to the loo or getting dressed takes hours, having to watch DD like a hawk (she is just getting mobile so keeps trying to eat everything, pulling up everywhere and then falling over and screaming, etc), not being able to get anything done, even having to plan going to the loo like a military operation now, as my periods have come back so I have to somehow try and get there without DS following me as I can't stand all the inevitable questions ("what's that red stuff mummy? What are you doing? WHY?").
I am starting to think I am just not cut out for being a mum at all, and to look forward to going back to work (I am on mat leave now, but going back part-time in a few months); but I do love them really and would like to be able to enjoy and make the most of spending this time with them. But instead I too often end up feeling like I either need to shout, swear, throw something breakable, or have a good cry (none of which I should be doing in front of the kids, of course...). Any thoughts on how to keep my temper, enjoy them more, get things to run a bit more smoothly, and generally be a nicer and less head-exploded mummy?