What do you do if you stay at home once your DC are at school?

[Orissiah]

I'm really curious actually. I understand that many parents stay at home to look after their children when they are babies and pre-schoolers, but I am curious to know how many Mumsnetters remain at home (not doing paid worked) after your DC start school. If you do, then how do you fill your time? And do you enjoy it?

It is my dream to be able to not work...not going to happen unless we win the lottery, though! The only sticking point would be if I got lonely. I could occupy my time quite happily doing nothing but reading and MNing and maybe the odd bit of cleaning or cooking. I might become more productive in the last two if I never worked, perhaps.

Well, you can't do what working people do on their day off if you are me, as I always look after the children in the day on the weekend or on holidays. I have a day without children for 6 1/2 hours about once a year. But that's very much my choice, and I actually regret it, and wish I had more time to myself, or to volunteer and so on. All choices have their consequences, and pottering around, reading sound lovely, housework and cooking sound appalling, perhaps that's why I work full-time so there's little expectation that I do them much!

I loved it for the first term, then hated it and felt quite low till I fell pregnant with 2nd child. Don't know what I'll do after DC2 goes to school - ages away - but I'm hoping if I am a SAHM I'll embrace it and enjoy it now that I'm not pining for a 2nd baby.

i quit work when dd started school!

Agree with pagwatch

How depressing it must be to not have enough in your life that you love to wish you just had more time to do it all.

god i was so pissed off dd's school was off today, it seriously ate into my nap time

I've only been on maternity leave since June and I seriously do not know how I managed to do a 40-50 hour week at work. Clearly my pace has slowed down dramatically and I'm sometimes embarrassed when DH asks what I've done with my day...er not a lot and it's boring old pasta for dinner...again.

Dread to think how I'm going to cope with work again in a few months time and even worse the conversation that has to be had with DH to say he's gotta pull his weight around the house and Saturdays and no longer just for playing 12 hours of cricket on.

I was at home until dd was 5. Then got a part-time job. That was 7 years ago.

At home: Immaculate house, every drawer tidy, nothing left undone, empty laundry basket every night, ran after school sports club, xmas fair and summer fairs, did reading at school with the children, helped make costumes for plays, went on school trips, treasurer of a local group, ran sunday school, vice chair of voluntary organisation. Decided I was doing so much for nothing and had so little time that I ought to be earning.

Part time: Immaculate house but drawers, etc., getting untidier, dropped helping at school, dropped voluntary work, dropped sunday school. Completely exhausting trying to do two things properly.

Full time work: Hire au-pair to sort out house, undertake professional quals (and get them). Children too old for au-pair, have a bit of help in the house, dh works away, on pcc, demanding job, older children as demanding as younger but different demands - can now drive 120 miles at weekends for matches, parties, etc, but have sensible conversations and go to toilet alone.

The future: Would love to be at home full time doing some things just for me but I have got used to financial independence. Also, I think I would just find other things to do so might as well be earning.

Do SAHMs really think working mums don't do the housework etc.? I've never thought that. I've always had a very strong feeling that most women who have it all really do - the 'earning' work, the childrearing work, the cleaning work etc. etc. - they have all the work!

Cook, clean, food shop, renovate the house, walk the dog and study for my MA. I rarely have time to meet friends or do anything that constitutes 'me' time.

I don't believe that any SAHMs really think that working mothers don't do the housework/home related work, actually I find that comment quite annoying.

Haven't read much after Durhamdurham so sorry if Im going over old ground here.

Did I miss something but who said that SAHM's do these jobs therefore working mums don't?

I think what they are saying is that the days are filled with getting these jobs done during the day (not full of long voids of nothing to do).

I don't believe they think working mums don't have these jobs as if by magic.

we pick up all the slack in the family and community, doing the jobs that working parents don't have time to do

Jeremy Kyle,
This Morning,
Loose Women,
Homes Under the Hammer.

Don't be too smug OP. Who you gonna call when the school or nursery phone to say they are closing at lunchtime because of the snow?

Kristina, why would I be smug? If school called for me to pick her up at lunchtime due to snow then I would pick her up (and I would be free to pick her up easily).

OP - my youngest started school about 7/8 years ago. I had two terms at home and then got a part time job. Been full time for about 5 years now. Having a snow day today. In some ways I love work, for me staying at home was a bit insular. I love the financial independence working gives me. The problem I think is that if you don't have financial independence, unless you are very rich, your ability to do the "me" stuff is a bit restricted. If you work you may be able to afford some of the "me" stuff but don't have the time for.

Oddly, now the dc are both at secondary school I think I would value p/time work more than I did when they were younger and paradoxically now they are teenagers I think they need me more than they did at say, 8 and 11.

Interesting Once. I agree (I have financial independence as I work from home, self employed - so no boss and lots of flexibility). I was just curious as to how non-working mothers of school age children who stay at home spend their time.

I work very PT from home. The rest of the time - I'm STILL redecorating the house (it's a Forth Bridge sort of thing), I do a lot of charity work - am on a lot of committees, etc.

I think this is a valid question (only because it relates to my current situation!!!)

I work part-time, and my youngest DC has just started full time at school. I now have 6 hrs a day to fill 3 times a week. I have been so used to running around like a mad thing, half doing everything and feeling guilty about it. It feels odd to have soo much time to myself.

Have to admit to not cleaning anymore frequently...something faintly depressing about having to do housework everyday...know it has to be done, but have got away with a basic level for the past 6 years!!!

The plan is to do some decluttering, volunteer at school when possible, catch up with some books that I've been meaning to read, but that isn't going to take too long.

I need some inspiration to do more than clean and drink coffee!

I've never solely been a SAHM- when ds1 was little I worked evenings when I was married, then as a cleaner when I got divorced and ds1 was at school, but when ds2 goes to school I will sleep, at least for the first two terms anyway.

Other than that, and all the usual household stuff, I will start writing again, knitting, sewing, probably taking care of my elderly Ps, volunteering at the school. I might do a few classes such as learning another language, brushing up on my current language skills, painting- whatever takes my fancy. Trips to see things that the rest of the family don't fancy- art galleries, castles, gardens etc. So much I want to do.

I have never been a SAHM. But I wonder at the question. I work p/t and the 6 hrs with ds2, after dropping off ds1, just fly.
Can't imagine why it would be any different for anyone else.