Working mums - how to avoid 'those' mornings?!

[pipkin35]

I work 3 days a week...currently M-W (thinking about changing to M, W, F - one of the reasons to avoid these morning nightmares!)but that's on another thread - any ideas would love to hear them.

Got 18 month old and nearly 3 yr old.

Just had another one of 'those' mornings....not only rushing like a mad thing - I'm quite used to that - but I mean no nice time in the moring, all 'snipy' and then shouty at both OH and DS - sitting here at work almost in tears cos of how I shouted at DS this AM.

LATE to work - AGAIN! Shouting at kids - due to not being prepared early enough and trying to do dressing/washing/CBBC etc.... first thing.
Have to leave house by 8am ideally. But frequently after BF 18 month old, am still in shower at 7.30am! OH helps out a lot. We get DS up as late as possible 7.45am...cos even if he's in bed by 7pm previous night he's still tired. But 3 year old was crying in the car all the way (30 mins) to nursery...and I hate it. I hate shouting.

How to avoid these mornings where it's all a mad rush?!
Any tips on being better prepared?
Ways to get them out of the house happy? Ways not to be rowing with OH (he doesn't drive - grrr! - so I drop him to wrok first then take the kids to nursery and then myself).
HELP!

I have a 15mo and a 3.5 yo and morning goes as follows:

I get DS slightly awake at 6.30 and we have a snoozy BF and cuddle. DH gets up and showers. I get up and give DS to DH while I shower (I wash hair in the bath at night so only v.quick). DH dresses DS and gets DD out of bed. I negotiate with pass DD her clothes for the day and help with buttons etc while DH gets dressed. DH then takes both children down for cereal or toast and fruit while I get dressed.

I come downstairs by about 7.30 and have a cup of tea and a piece of toast. I then put DS in the car and shout at gently encourage DD. We leave the house by 7.45. DH usually cycles to work so sorts himself out.

It generally works although there is a fair amount of shouting. I do no cleaning in the morning and generally have to do an awful lot the night before - bags ready/ dinner prepped/ basic house maintenance done etc.

The thing that made ALL the difference to our morning routine is not having any tv on - even the news, DH was the most affected by it! Am 36 weeks with dc3 now, so have found this thread great!! Baby will just have to slot in! Our routine:

7.15 alarm dh gets up opens girls curtains, puts kettle on and gets their brekkie ready. They get dressed with some help with tights!

7.35 cup of tea for me while I get dressed and girls downstairs for brekkie

7.45 I go downstairs for my brekkie and to chivvy girls along, dh goes and gets ready for work.

8.00 girls brush teeth, I do their hair, we load up schoolbags with lunch etc

8.15 shoes and coats on dh leaves for work

8.30 leave house for school

Of course, baby will slot in beautifully and our home will be tranquil and calm in the mornings...ahem! Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of shouting too!!

HAts off to Jumping Jelly fish! Organisation is def the key.
Mine are 10 and 7 now so much easier.
I remember so clearly the morning run when they were pre school age, absolutley exhausting!

Sitting here nodding at the posts.

My alarm goes off at 6am. If freezing outside the duvet, stick fan heater on for a snooze cycle then get self up. Tickle DS (just 3) to start the waking process. Do bathroom stuff and get dressed. Tickle DS some more and start trying to steal his duvet to get the hint across that he can't go back to sleep.
Fish clothes out for him, put in bathroom and if necessary, pick him up with pillow and carry to bathroom. Park on loo ignoring the grumbling. Insist he helps with dressing. Once dressed, leave to go back to hide in bed if he wants, go do hair etc and then go to get cuppa, which DH will have got ready. He also puts the nursery bag together with yoghurt and snack/milk for journey. (Nursery do breakfast but only cereal/toast, so yogs we have to get.) Oh and he also defrosts cars :)

Fish DS out of bed again about 6.45 if he's not already gone downstairs. Point out for the millionth time that he is not under any circumstances watching Postman Pat in a morning. Try and get shoes and coats on for 7am departure, run around for the toy he has to take and finally set off 7.10am. Arrive 7.45am, drop off, get to work about 8 and eat breakfast at desk.

Would be easier if DS wasn't an evening person. He loathes going to bed and loathes getting up. So we battle it out at both ends. Anyone who knows how to convince a toddler that going to sleep early means it's easier to get up, please let me know! I was never convinced!

Our morning routing is eased by the fact that my two dcs start shouting wake full of beans at 6.15. How lovely!

But yes, banning morning telly has made the most difference and moving DD's clothes negotiation session to the night before.

Even so, one parent quite regularly goes without breakfast and we have to walk fast to get to school on time.

Can you make a flexible working request to start 1/2 hour later and have a shorter lunch break/leave slightly later.

I'm a get ready the day before as much possible too - and very early up for me! 6.00 am start but I'm ready and then all OK!

Interesting to hear how other do this.

I find the television to be helpful if used wisely tbh. (but my children are a little older, 6 and 3). The 6 year old is very receptive to getting dressed within x minutes so she can watch a little bit!

dd1 has breakfast at wraparound (prefers it) and dd2 has started requesting to have it at nursery which suits me as well. (it is only a few minutes away)

Both have hot meals at school/nursery so that is another job less.

I find that I need to give myself a good hour to get ready and then we don't rush. (getting ready means quick shower/hair/make up for me - I can do all that in 30 minutes)

dds have bath night before. Anything that can be ready the night before is done then. (e.g. bags packed properly, lunch for me in fridge, clothes laid out). Drinks for dds in fridge - they have warm juice so just take out of fridge and top up with a bit of kettle water.

I hate being late and I hate rushing so I force myself to get up it will be 6.20 tomorrow. :)

Dh always leaves earlier than me but he makes me a coffee first thing also if the dds rise early then he sorts them out as well.

Also, to stop yourself being late, you should aim for earlier than you really need.

I start work at 9am often, but I aim for 8am at the latest at the childminders (but this can be give or take 10 mins either way).

In theory my journey takes 15 minutes but it can be longer in the mornings and I can then walk into work relaxed and get my head together for 30 mins or so before class.

I would HATE to run in 5 minutes before starting (but I teach so v. different to an office environment).

Aside from insisting DH learnt to drive (doesn't like driving ) or at the very least get a bike/moped so you do't have to drop him off, I would definitely stop the morning TV and if you don't already, leave breakfast to nursery. And make sure bags are packed & clothes laid out the night before.

Oh, and I work Mon, Wed, Thursday & it's the best combination of 3 day week IMO and I've tried most variation.

Sorry, I'm another one who would strongly suggest you look into having a nanny.

But definitely, apart from getting stuff ready the night before, either your OH needs to think about getting to work solo, or he needs to take on getting the children to nursery himself - round here you see a lot of people using tricycles with two little seats facing backwards, those child trailers etc, or else the bus. Depends on the distance of course. I've done bike and train for 4 years, it's heavenly when I cycle off all by myself leaving bedlam the morning chaos behind me!

my dh can work away during the week and often we dont always know when this is from one day to the next (could be anywhere in the country from Scotland to Lands Ends) so it can be a real dash to do the drop off' and pick up' to nursery for me if he is away.

I am seriously considering changing my hours to an annualised hours contract to help me as sometimes even if i drop ds off at 8am when nursery opens I cant guarantee getting to the office for 8.30 - sometimes the traffic is too unpredictable. I have the same problem at closing time as i finish at 5.30 and nursery charge (quite rightly) for late pick ups past 6pm.

An annualised contract might offer the little bit of flexability you need if your employers offer it

We don't do telly in the morning either, but then I've only got one to worry about.

My alarm goes off at 7.07. Dh and I get washed and then take breakfast in to DD (3) at about 7.30 if she's not already up.

Waving overly sugary cereal under her nose helps her wake up without too much fuss. We have a nice chat while she eats and Dh gets dressed.

She normally manages to be coaxed into clothes by 8am - she does some of it herself but insists on climbing into tops through the head hole. Sometimes this involves letting her keep her pyjamas on under other clothes.

If ok, I drop her at the childminders' on my cycle ride way to work at 8.10. If there's fuss and bother DH takes her in the car 5 or 10 mins later.

For this to work I need to have sorted out her bag for pre-chool the night before and know what I am going to wear. I don't do make up and I don't hair drying.

Hard going isn't it I agree!

Try and have everything ready the night before - clothes/pants/socks/coats/shoes out, tea bag in mug, all your stuff too

Put son to bed at 6.15 so he can wake earlier(I have to do this too)

Bed half an hour earlier for adults.

Get up at 6.40 - both u and DH. Shower, get changed.

7.10 - DH and you each get one child up and changed. Hair brushed etc. Sit with child and give them your full concentration - it will be faster that way.

7.25 - breakfast sat down together.

7.45- Stop eating. teeth, face/hand wash. Coats on, shoes. Get in car.

My morning routine:
Wake at 6.15, cup of tea and get dressed/do makeup
6.35 Make my lunch for work, eat breakfast
6.55 Dress DS while still in bed, this wakes him up
7.15 Put bags by door and tidy up
7.30 Walk DS to nursery

Not usually any crying/if there is I give DS a beaker of warm milk, he eats cereal at nursery.

hi,
I work Tue/Wed/Thu, and I would say if you swapped to alternate days, you'll go mental - no real break, always thinking that work's jsut around the corner, and to be honest - how on earth will that change your morning routine anyway? Dropping the morning BF would likely help, unless you can bring it forward?
What we do (not perfect, but here you go), the night before all clothes are laid out, and sandwhiches made. then on a work day, alarm goes at 6.20, get up by 6.30, usually DS2 (3) comes with me into bathroom and potters whilst I shower, then I get him washed and dressed, then downstairs to watch tv while I dress. In the meantime, hopefully DS2 (6) has woken up and can get himself ready, with reminders.
I get lunchboxes packed (all prepared night before), then get breakfast ready.
We all eat, then brush teeth, then kids can watch tv till it's time to go at 7.50 ish and I tidy up the dishes.
It can be a bit of a rush, but it's do-able.
On a not-work but still school day;, same routine, but get up a bit later, and leave house at 8.40.
My DH is generally not here in the morning, as leaves early, or if he is, he might chivvy ds2 along a bit. Drives me MAD when he just gets himself all ready and leaves me running around like an eejit!

get as much ready last thing, kettle even gets filled hear and breakfast laid out on the kitchen work top ready.

Pack lunches done ready

book bags etc done

baths or shower and cloths ready in bedroom

early night and early morning

I do tues, wed thurs

that way I can cook on monday for the three days ahead and never have to worry about teacher training days or bank holidays

You absolutely have to get dressed and be ready yourself before you get the kids up. That's the only way I can get my 3 kids and me out of the door on time!

DH gets up for work at 6.45 and I get up at the same time and have a lightning quick shower and get dressed. Kids hopefully don't wake up before 7am.

I have all clothes laid out downstairs, toothbrushes and hairbrushes downstairs so that I can corral all kids in and stop them wandering off. Bags are always in same place etc. I hang coats and shoes up the moment they come in.

I aim to leave about 10 minutes before I actually need to, as the last minute strapping kids in/de-icing car etc takes longer than you think.

I would also drop the morning breastfeed.

I think tv can actually make things worse as my 3 go into this state of intertia which stops the whole momentum of the morning.

It is hideous though. I get obsessed with having the dishwasher stacked and on etc and i think this makes me even more stressed. I just can't face doing all that housework in the evening when the porridge has welded itself to the breakfast bowls.

we all bathe/shower the night before. luckily my hair still looks ok in the mornings.

If DCs get up at a predictable time, set the alarm for 15minutes before this. Then you can wash, dress, hair and make-up before they are up.

agree with no telly. it is an evil time thief for all of you. DD has breakfast at nursery and always has.

telly/playing/stories happen if, and only if, the wheels haven't fallen off and we're all ready in time. start trying to leave the house 10 minutes before you need to in order to allow for forgetting stuff/last minute meltdowns/nappy incidents.

My morning routine only works because dd2 is such an early riser. Dh gets up at 6:15, gets himself ready, leaves at 6:45ish. Occasionally changes a nappy if dd2 wakes whilst I'm in the shower but that's it. I get up at 6:30, shower, get dd2 dressed, get myself dressed, wake dd1 up at 7:15, sort washing etc whilst she gets dressed, all downstairs for breakfast by 7:30, do dd1's lunchbox whilst they have breakfast then usually do 10 minutes admin/cleaning whilst they play and we leave at about 8:10. I do put all dd1's uniform out the night before so she knows what she's wearing and I can identify any uniform problems the night before (no clean jumpers etc). I've started doing that with dd2 as well but she's headstrong and likes to choose her own outfit which we can lose 10 minutes arguing over (she's only 2.8 ffs). The hardest part is getting them both into shoes/coats etc and out the door - that's usually when the shouting starts.

1. Get up earlier. Always number one tip.
2. No TV. Never. Turns everyone into zombies.
3. You should have set tasks to do by certain times and so should your dp.