how do you manage double bedtimes?

[driedapricots]

i've just started a bedtime routine with ds 4 months - I should have done it a lot earlier but didn't because of dd1 (3yrs) who is so needy at bedtime; hence my problem...how do you manage putting 2 to bed on your own?? (dh rarely home to help at this time). tonight it was chaos/hectic and completely stressful but rather miraculously they both fell asleep pretty much simulatenously once i'd got them into their beds and settled...but it was much more luck than judgement i'd say - and poor ds was probably just exhausted from screaming! what do you do?

I have a 13 week DD and 18 mth DS and so far (for a week!) the following has worked: DS tea at 5pm, everyone upstairs for DD's bath at 5.30pm (have to tolerate DS generally rampaging around upstairs while I'm doing this), 6pm DS in front of Cbeebies (bad mummy) while DD has her bottle, 7pm everyone back upstairs, DD into cot and usually settles to sleep (with only a limited amount of crying - hopefully!), DS bath, bottle and bed. As I say, have only been trying this for a week, but so far so good. HTH

it sounds exhausting! and i don't know about you, but i find this time of day is when i'm dead on my feet too... do you give them both a bath every night??! mine are lucky if they get one every 2 days!
it does make sense to concentrate on little one first though. tonight i was feeding ds with one hand whilst wrestling dd into pull-ups with the other hand...then we had a bout of time out as dd kept turning up the dimmer light so bedroom resembled a nightclub...oh god my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it again!

I do agree that it sounds exhausting at the worst part of the day but the payoff is finally having my evening back and not having to juggle a toddler in the bath and a baby screaming for a feed, especially as DH rarely home before 7.30. It does mean that they both have a bath every day but I've always done that with DS anyway and it's the only routine I do have - the rest of the time they can eat and sleep when they like!

All of mine go up at 7. (2.8/5/7) and i see to DS3, then see to DS1 and 2 - they share a room. Then normally i am back in to DS3 anyway.

DS1 and 2 faff around and play/read for a bit which is fine.

Well mine are 18 months and 3.9 and when I've had to put them down alone I get everything ready for the bath, pyjamas, etc while they rampage around me, then both in the bath at around 6.45. Shut bathroom door to prevent escapees then both out at once, dry, dress, brush teeth, then I tell the older child to play quietly in his room while I put the baby to bed, have a cuddle with her then put her down and go to him, sometimes having to leave him if she cries.

Now she's getting older she has a story too, but haven't had to put them to bed by myself since we started stories for her. What I might try is giving the story in his room, then take her away for cuddle and put her down in her room and go back to him so he can have some story too.

I would say if your older child is needy at this time I would try and focus on the younger as much as possible, once you've got him down you can focus on her. I've had times I've had to get a bit strict with my older one just for the 10 mins or so it takes to get the younger one down but to be fair he's very good.

I've become more and more strict on timings its the only way I cope with bed time,
I almost always cook a one pot type meal for 5.15 the twins and dd2's eat then, if the older 2 are busy they eat later, but I've stopped on the whole cooking twice.

Then do tidy up and get everything ready for bedtime, 6.15 the twins get bath and bottle and in bed by 6.45. If dd2's bath night I do this then, although she only needs help with hair now.

Then homework and bed for dd2 7.15pm
then dinner for whoever hasn't had it followed by homework and bed for dd2.

Usually have sit then or chat with ds1 unless its maths night which is hell!
He goes to bed at 9.30 then I get everything ready for the morning, my clothes twins cloths etc etc

Think having them spaced out in age helps it calms down alot when the twins are in bed!
I generally find a Large Glass of red helps me through

I only have 1 child, but my brother has 3, so this might not be very helpfull. Could you dc share a bath? im sure your dd would like to "help" bath your ds too. It will save time from having to do 2 baths at different times.

I've got a 5 month old and a 2 year old and I've been putting them both down at the same time since DD2 was about a month old with minimal fuss.

They both go in the bath together at about 6.15 (I've got a seat thing for DD2 to sit in). I then get them both dressed on my bed (wrapping DD2 up in the towel and getting DD1 dressed first). I then read DD1 a few books while feeding DD2 and once she's either nodded off or is full, put her down in the cot with her musical crib toy on. I then take DD1 to her bed, read her another story and that's it.

If DD2 hasn't settled (very rare these days) I used to then go back and settle her down again.

Forgot to say, when my youngest was a baby I'd get her out of the bath first and changed, then get the older one out of the bath so as not to have a cold baby but these days it's easier to get them both out at once. She just used to have a lie down on a towel in the bathroom while I was sorting my older child.

When my first was a baby I'd give him a feed after his bath but with her I found it easier to give her a feed before we went upstairs but it depends on whether this agrees with your LO.

3 + 2 ish. we do wee-wees and teethies together, then change into night things then a story together, then bed. they are fenced off from each other to prevent beatings.

any time wasting is threateneed with 'no story just bed'

the baby sleeps through this, or if she doesn't, it doesn't take that long.

I put my 2 yo DS to bed, cuddle and goodnight kiss while my 2 DDs _8 and 10) settle in their beds with a book. I give them a quick goodnight kis & cuddle and head downstairs! All over & done with pretty quick.

I did it in similar way to lasagna. Mine are 22 months apart.

Younger one watches tea, then both up for bath/nappies/PJ's which were done together.

Bath roughly every two days: put oldest in bath first, then youngest in, then youngest out and dried/dressed on bathroom mat & left to amuse self while older out & dried & dressed.

Oldest one then sits in bed & looks at book or sits on floor & has a 15-min DVD/iplayer episode on laptop (my oldest one is fairly sensible type and OK on his own with computer - probably would not work for all kids.) Meantime, baby had final feed and in to cot.

Then back to read stories and tuck oldest in. If youngest unsettled, went back to soothe every few minutes. On a good day he was asleep by end of feed though.

Haha sounds simple when written down! Of course was not always clockwork, but generally worked OK. And it's evolved in to a joint bedtime routine with shared stories now at nearly 2 & 4.

I have a 3 yr gap between DS1 and 2. When DS2 was a baby, I used to bath them together then feed DS2 (milk) sitting on DS1's bed whilst reading bedtime stories. He'd help turning the pages if needed. Then have a kiss and cuddle goodnight in his bed. Then put DS2 in cot and they were both asleep 7ish. DS1 was very obliging in this respect and DS2 was good at going to sleep after feed so I was lucky. I could have put DS2 in cot then returned to DS1's bed for time with just the 2 of us if needed.

Now DS2 is 2 we do stories together in my bed, me in middle DS1 on one side of me DS2 on the other. They each choose 2 stories and I alternate. Neither minds listening to the stories for the other one. Then I send them to their beds and go into DS2 tuck him in cuddle etc then to DS1 and do the same. We all love bedtime; I am v lucky.

Think of the routine you would like to end up wth then try and aim for it in little steps, DD might not be cooperative at first but use a lot of praise and tell her that you want to have some time with her so need to settle DS then will be straight back for cuddles etc. I did have to let DS2 cry sometimes when he wasn't settling and concentrate on DS1 (only for a few mins), this had the added bonus of DS2 settling himself often.

largeglass i'm in awe...and there's me struggling with just 2 and only one of them can walk, talk and protest!!
i've also just realised i completely forgot to get dd to clean her teeth..ggrrr.

Ds is 2.5yrs and dd is 3 months. Ds has dinner at around 5/5.30pm. Both upstairs and bath together at 6ish-I get dd out first and into pjs,give her a bf while ds plays in the bath (all this is done in the bathroom). All sit down to watch one of ds' programmes-he has milk and snack while I bf dd. Upstairs 6.30/7ish and dd goes into her cot (usually is either asleep or settles to sleep) ds has last wee,teeth brushed and into bed for a story. I'm thinking of changing it slightly now dd is older so me and ds read her a short story before taking him to bed....I love that time when me and ds can cuddle on our own,but books are so great for baby's I don't want dd missing out. Pick a routine and stick with it-it becomes surprisingly easy after a few days.

I have DD's 2.3yrs and 6mths.

Generally DH is home in time to help, so he does DD1's bath and bed and I do DD2. Both at 7pm. This works fine for us.
The times when he is working late, misses the train etc I have to do it alone.
On those days I tend to take DD2 up at about 6.45, feed her and put her down whilst DD1 watches Peppa pig/Dora etc, which she chooses.
Its not ideal but shes sitting on the sofa,calm and winding down before bed.

Then 7pm its her turn for bed and bath.

Sometimes I bath them both together which can be abit trickier. Baby gets out and dried then watches DD1 get dried and dressed, then they both listen to DD1's story. Then its bed for DD1, then DD2.
All depends on how tired DD2 is as sometimes she not happy to wait for the sotry and just wants bed ASAP. On dual bath times poor DD2 does get lot of rolling on the floor time whilst im sorting DD1.

3 dc- 3, 20mo, 3mo- all go down at the same time, dh rarely home b4 bedtime. i bf the baby before giving the older 2 their dinner at 5 ( i usually cook dinner in the morning- so only reheatting at his time of the day!) after dinner i start the bath kids r encouraged to tidy up the toys and then older 2 start getting undressed. i do the baby, everyone in the bath by 6. i bring in the baby's pjs, so he has a short bath and then when im dressing him, the other 2 get their toothbrushes in the bath, whilst the bath is draining. then everyone into the older 2's bedroom pjs on and time for a story. sometimes baby is till content- but if not he gets fed whilst im doing the story. older 2 in bed by 6.45, baby gets one last feed and is in bed by 7pm.

7.01pm i have white wine spiritzer in hand
(saturday's we get in our pjs b4 strictly and eat chips on the sofa )

Mine are 8 months and 3.2. DH is away in the week so bed time is me everyday. They have a bath together every 2 days (ds may get one on the other night as he likes mud) then dd out first and into babygro, then the three year old is out and all of us go to the three year old for a story and he gets tucked in then the baby gets her milk and bed. On the odd occassion she's exhausted and goes to bed first whilst the three year old gets some quality cbeebies.
We have had some hideous nights roundabout where you are now but it has got much better in the last couple of months and they are usually both asleep by 7.30.