How much do you spend on your DC's at xmas?

[CharlieBoo]

Just interested as am having a nightmare with my two. My ds is 5.8 and is having a ds and lego police station, both of which cost over £200.00, this is before a game has been bought for the ds or any stocking stuff...or the little bits and pieces. All a lot of money, but in terms of wrapping up it looks sod all. Compare this to 18 month old dd who has big boxes, dolly's, buggy's, coupe car and it looks loads but has actually cost me half as much!

How do others of you do it with your dc's? I don't want it to look like dd has got loads more than ds and for that to register with him, but tbh he has had loads spent on him but he isn't old enough to realise and thinks he can ask Santa for what he wants...

But I'm interested in why people spend so much...because all the other kids have this and that? Because people want to spoil their kids? Because of guilt? Are these nice values/feelings to project onto your children? And is it not possible to give your children a magical Christmas in other ways than giving them expensive quad bikes or whatever?

Wouldn't the money be better spent on more important things, especially if the parents are hard up which I think is the case with many, even most people who spend a lot on Christmas presents?

Christmas isnt just one day for me, it starts in mid november (at the latest) and ends begining of jan when the tree comes down.

Its a magical time, my two are toddlers so its mainly for me at the moment but who cares its enjoyable. We do an activity a day realted to christmas for the advent calendar, simple things as they are little like collect items for making christmas decs, buy the pets a christmas pressie, baking, sledging etc.

I give them presents on Christmas eve, Christmas day, and New years day. We have special meals on these days too, (meaning i put more effort than usual into the trimmings, we eat well any way)

Ill spend a few grand/ 1 and half easy on christmas each year all in. Including clothing, gifts for friends family, each other and the kids, decorations, taking them to see santa, days out shopping and looking at the pretty lights.

I find it a very expensive time of year as i want to get out and do everything. My mom was the same with us when we were little, christmas are my best memories.

We dont drive flash cars, have holidays abroad, or drink or smoke, im a SAHM with DH on low/middle income salary. We do have a large flat screen tv though so i am the scum of mumsnet, but i care not. We budget through the year and allocate cash to the things we enjoy, thats Christmas season. We buy the kids loads of presents because they enjoy playing with them and i enjoy playing with the kids with their toys. I really cant see whats wrong with spending money on your childrens christmas presents if thats what you want to do.

Of course Christmas can be magical without expensive gifts. My children are 2.5yrs and 3 months so there is no peer pressure whatsoever. I get pleasure from seeing my sons face when he opens something that he absolutely loves. Yes it doesn't have to be expensive,but I'd rather buy a few really good quality toys that will last him. I'm a sahm so generally know the type of things he'd enjoy playing with-or I'd enjoy playing with him. Every day of my life I work to give him good values and morals so giving him nice gifts one day a year won't undo all this hard work.

My DS will be 4 months at Christmas and we are not planning on getting him any presents, as
a) He will have no idea what is going on anyway
b) We buy him anything he needs when he needs it
c) Grandparents and other friends and family will buy him stuff anyway.

I don't think we are being tight, we could easily afford to splash out, but I really don't see the point. However a lot of people who I have said this to look at me like I am the worst mum in the world!

babydubs i totally agree! neither my dp or myself smoke or drink, we dont go on holiday either and we cut back from september to be able to afford the christmas we want. my children arent spoilt in the 'brat' sense...my dsd who lives with us never asks for anything throughout the year, yes she writes a christmas list but she is always happy with what she's got. she knows that wii games cost a lot more than toys and that if she has big (ie more expensive) presents then she wont have so many. like i said before, i love coming down christmas morning and seeing her face when the tree and her stocking is bursting with presents. my ds will be just over 5 months at christmas and he will have the same treatment whether people think he is too young or not really doesnt bother me. i understand that people have very different ideas of christmas...but i dont think that the idea of children being spoilt or becoming materialistic as a result of lots of presents is necssarily a fair one though...

Approx - £50 each on a 'main' present and then £20/30 each on surprises and stocking fillers.

Maybe more if one year there is something specific they want that costs more.

Those of you who spend £££'s, it's not the money that makes me question it, but the idea that if children gets loads of stuff it's really magical and wonderful for them.

Often I think they can either feel overwhelmed, dismissive, or become blase about getting presents, so actually the 'magic' is taken away in the overkill.

Surely it's more 'magical' if it's limited to some degree giving it more significance and meaning? (haven't you read Charlie and the chocolate factory??)

Those of you who love christmas and like to make it special, I understand that, I'm with you there, I just don't think masses of presents necessarily do that, in fact possibly the opposite.

Judging from this thread, I'm on the cheapskatey side, but I can't help noticing that a lot of the expensive presents people have been mentioning are very useful things: a bike, a tool bench- these are things that may make a massive difference to a child's development, they hardly seem to me like extravagant spending for the sake of it.

When we bought dd's bike as a present 7 years ago, we didn't have a car (partly for reasons of economy), so the idea was to have cheap family days out. Didn't happen as disability intervened and she never really got to use it, but looking back it doesn't seem like useless extravagance to me. Last year dh bought me a keyboard- partly so I could take up my piano playing, but mainly so I can support dd's musical theatre.

Although I am guilty of using a few utilitarian items as stocking fillers, like gloves/socks/pants, some of the expensive items people mention on here I would not buy for Christmas: slippers, bicycles, phones. Maybe if it were super-duper or designer make. But stuff like that doesn't count as part of my Christmas spending, it's just necessary spending. DD is getting a new Islabike before Xmas that will probably cost 400+ quid and that is definitely just something we'd like her (and her younger brothers) to have in the long run, it's not a toy.

Anyway, not including that type of thing would bring some of the numbers on this thread down a bit.

If I were rolling in Dosh maybe I'd get a 3yo a mini-Ferrari, trip to Lapland, their own pony...so what? If it's legitimately yours (and with applicable caveats about looking after it and whether it will last well), spend it how you like.

Only buying the bike so soon because of the January VAT rise, mind.

I've done that too ragged, wasn't even going to do stockings this year but some MNers persuaded me :o we are low on cash so I mainly bought things we'd need to get them anyway - flannels, toothbrushes etc. It'll still be exciting for them!

I'm a bit worried about the ennui of opening too many gifts. It'll be spread out a bit due to family visiting on different days (25th is just for us) but DD does have quite a lot of cheap presents - board games mostly. DH reckons she should open them all after breakfast but I'd like to spread them throughout the day.

Not finished shopping yet but I think it'll be under £50 each for the older two and maybe £20 for the baby

it's insane here. me and ds have our own time first thing opening presents.

we then go to my sisters for brunch and open more presents.

then we go to my parents house in the afternoon and oh more presents and christmas dinner.

i hate watching kids open presents when they have too many - that whole glance, flip over the shoulder and virtually shout 'next!'. they seem to go into a trance of pure greed and materialism.

hence i don't like overbuying for ds - i don't like christmas culture personally - it's like a mass materialistic orgy that i feel sick watching.

bah humbug.

Well we've bought dd1 (3) and dd2 (1) a box of duplo to share. It was on offer with an extra box free and was £30. On top of that I've bought some cheap stocking fillers that includes some bath stuff, some toy animals, a mini tea set and some beads with numbers on. We've also bought dd1 a game for a computer thing my aunty is buying her. All in we've spent under £50 on them both combined.

That said my aunty goes a bit mad at Xmas and has bought quite a lot. She's got them a doll each, a dancing teletubby for dd2, a computer thing for dd1 along with 2 games, a swimming dog thing for dd1 and she's looking for something else for dd2. Then she'll have got a few stocking fillers for them too.

My mum has got dd1 a bike and dd2 a trampoline (little one).

Money-wise I tend to buy all my family's presents in October then use any spare money I have during November and December on the kids for stocking fillers.

I think it's not how much/what they get that is the issue for me, it is the gratitude - I too would hate the mad rush, conveyor belt style opening of presents without actually appreciating each gift. We've brought DD up to be grateful for what she is given, she is very good at saying thank you and I hope it continues.

I dont think you could point at a child at soft play and say 'bet they get £500 spent on them at Christmas' It takes more than one day of over indulgence to make a child dismissive and spoilt.

I fully admit that part of my reason for going crazy at Christmas is emotional. Its a tough time when you have lost a child. BUT I always went a bit mad, even before losing DD.

I think the most important thing is not to get into debt. It doesnt matter what you spend (or not) as long as it doesnt have a deterimental effect on long term financies

Because no child would want an MP3 if it meant their parents were stressed and arguing all the time.

I spend a lot considering our income BUT its within budget and if someone wants to spend 10 x more than bloody good luck to them. If you wish to do things differently I dont think you are depriving your kids. I KNOW they dont need all this stuff and they wouldnt notice if they didnt get it, but I want to give it to them.

I think its wrong to assume that those who go mad ignore the spiritual/family side just as its wrong to assume those who dont are priggish or mean.

I think we're cheapish skates. We would never have bought a 100 ds and a 100 lego set for ds when he was 5.8. They are 15 and 11 now. Slightly tricky because ds was born xmas day so when he was 13 gps and us clubbed together and bought him a lap top. The year before the dc had a joint wii and games that came with it for xmas and ds got a cheap mobile.

Usual presents have been: bike (when needed), scooter (when needed), ds last year had abercrombie and fitch t shirts and jack will trackies; dd had an ipod thing (the newish one). This year ds has asked for blackberry and will probably get as I have found out it's 25 pm and he gets 10 on pay as you go anyway.

They usually also get a stocking for about 30 but that usually includes stationery for school and a book I think they should have. DD tends to ask for very little but two years ago, we did let her have a kitten who was a gorgeous addition to our family and now has pride of place as my youngest

Oh and in response to the OP, I recall the year ds got a DS (might have been called something different then). It seemed very expensive and we bought it and the accessories and the gps bought some games. dd (who was 2ish) had mountains of plastic and I caught my throat when it was round the tree. In the end it didn't matter a bit - he had the tiniest pile in comparison but he had what he really really wanted.

Until my ds was about 6 we spent fuck
all not much as we were totally skint. Now our finances are considerably better we spend anything between £100 and £300 on him but we can afford to and don't spoil him the rest of the year.

Only read op so apologises if someone else has mentioned.

Re different piles of stuff, I had this last year, my dd had small expensive stuff, and my ds had large cheap stuff. I was wondering what to do re Christmas morning.

My mum suggested large cardboard boxes from supermarket, and shredded paper, and hid small presents inside. My dd was thrilled with the same size pile as her brother, and had the presents she wanted inside.

We don't have many family members who buy/send presents for the kids, just one grandma and two god parents. So we tend to get one large presents for each of our two boys and a few small toys. They are both into the same things so they share all the presents:

DS1 a bike, a disco ball (that's what he wants!), some lego

DS2 a junior scalectix set, some cars and a helicopter, and a toy keyboard.

My MIL wants to get then a super huge cardboard rocket which will take half of their bedroom, but they will love it!!!

I suppose it's great to have two boys just one year apart.

Budget: £120 each top.

I've budgeted for £500 each. They are 14 and 11 (and I've saved about £600 for DH present so far)

By the way, we don't buy them many toys during the year (some stuff from charity shop once in a while) apart from their birthday. So we do tend to get them some nice things at Christmas.