OK here goes!
DS1 has just turned 6. DH is not the BF but we have been together since DS1 was 4 months old. BF lives 80 odd miles away and through my insistance ahs seen DS1 regularly, every other w/end for either 1 day or overnight. He volountarily pays maintenance monthly. Here is the tricky bit, DS1 calls BF by his christian name as this just happened naturally, he started calling DH daddy as soon as he could speak, which I did not encourage but had prob picked it up from childminder/other children.BF has been ok with DS1 calling my DH daddy, and he knows no different, BF is a 'big friend' to him. Prob is BF got married 12 months ago and things have started going pear shaped. He wants me to sign a parental responsibility aggreement which I am not prepared to do as we had discussed it and aggreed that DH should have PR but that it wasn't necessary for BF as didn't see him enough to warrant it. I have involved BF in descisions about school and what DS1 does to an extent. BF parents are now insisting they are called nannie and grandad and even sent a b/day card with grandson splattered all over it to the house, which they have never done before. BF has hinted that he wants DS1 to know the 'TRUTH'. We had thought that he would work it out at some point and that DS1 would ask us for an explanation, we felt that if/when he did this we could be sure he was old enough to understand. BF and I have never lived togaether as a family either. A few weeks ago, BF had asked to see DS1 for w/end, initially I had said yes but DS1 was then prize pain in the backside, so I withdrew the 'treat' of going to See his big friend! Then got huge abuse, I was apparently denying him his rights to see his BF, tried to expl that 6 yr old didn't see it like that, threats of court action for access and PR ensued. DS1 has the devil in him when returning from w/end with BF and its really disruptive to our lives at the moment. DH and I have another son who is 3 and as far as DS1 is concerned has a straight forward nuclear(?)family, should I tell him, and when. Can I be legally forced to tell him, what BF family tell him. Have panic attacks sometimes thinkin about it, please help, even just moral support, I feel like I have tried to keep BF happy, but my priority is DS1 , he has just started back at school and BF wants him this w/end and I am too scared to say no, but it really upsets our routine and he'll be shattered on Monday morn for school!!!!!!!!!!ARGHHHH