is it normal to just want one child when your first LO is still young?

[mollysmum82]

My daughter is now 15 months old I just couldn't contemplate having another baby. I wondered if others felt the same way when their LOs were so young and then went on to change their minds?

I absolutely adore my dd and I love being her mum more than anything. As cheesy as it sounds I picture a really happy future for the three of us and I don't want anything to get in the way of that.

I really struggled to conceive, having no periods for 13 years, fertility treatment and miscarriages. I also had a very difficult birth - my daughter was born blue as my placenta had stopped providing her with oxygen and I really thought she was going to die. I feel so lucky just to have her.

I had pnd after having my daughter and it really put a strain on my marriage. I was having suicidal thoughts daily and my poor husband was really struggling to cope. I'm feeling so much better now though and I'm really starting to love every minute with my family and feel like such a better mum and wife now. I'm so scared another baby will set me back again.

I've put my career on hold for a few years to look after dd full time and whilst I do love spending every second with her I miss my job and do want to go back to feeling like a normal person again. Goodness that sounds so selfish.

My husband really wants another baby though and he thinks it would be really good for DD. I feel so selfish for not wanting one and I just wonder if I will change my mind?

I don't really know what to do contraception wise as I'm breastfeeding and have PCOS, so its unlikely I'll conceive naturally. My husband has agreed we can leave it to chance rather than actively try but even then I'm scared I'll get pregnant. But then if I do have the coil fitted I could be jeopardising the only chance I might have to have another baby.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant...I don't really know what I'm asking, but your thoughts would be really appreciated.

Thanks lots

Well we have a 4 year gap because (a) I wasn't ready to even think about having another until DC1 was 2.5yo and (b) I felt the age gap between DB1 and me (19mths) was too close - and yet my DC squabble (although they adore each other) every bit as much as DB and I did - so that bit of the plan didn't work . OP, your DH should not judge age gaps purely on his and his siblings - bigger age gaps can work very well indeed (should you choose to have another DC at all).

No idea what advice to give, but just wanted to say I never got broody for dd2, I just got to the stage where I thought it wouldn't be too hideous to have another one! And reassuringly despite hating being pg, hating labour and dd2 being a crap sleeper, I have enjoyed having a baby much more this time round. That said, there is nothing wrong with wanting just one, but you and dh need to talk over your reasoning.

Thanks for your posts and reassurance (and your hugs :) ) I'm so glad this has been of help to you too Deliaskis!

I had a big chat with DH and I don't think he realised how down I felt about it all so he says he is happy to wait until (and if ever) I am ready yipeeee!