Unconditional Parenting and Sleep

[shufflebum]

DS 19 months has always slept well once asleep but we have often struggled to get him off to sleep. This however hasn't been a problem for several months until this week. Not really sure what has changed but he has just had screaming tantrums at nap and bed time. Tonight went on for almost 2 hours of me sitting in his room, holding him and talking to him until he eventually gave up and went to sleep. It was horrible to see him in such a state.
I try to parent in a HTTSOKWL/UP type way but am at a loss as to how to calm him down. I used to just pick him up and sit in a chair in his room with him until he fell asleep and then put him back in his cot but I don't really want to get back into this habit as he then used to wake up as soon as I put him down and then I had to start all over again!
Sorry for the long post, hopefully someone will have some ideas.

I think it's time to say goodnight to him and leave the room. If he's going to have a tantrum with you in the room, you might as well leave and he'll learn to settle himself. My DS was the same at 14 months.

No idea what HTTSOKWL/UP means.

Sorry was being lazy there are 2 books How to talk so kids will listen and Unconditional Parenting which while they are not my bibles make sense to me in the way I want to parent. By saying that I hoped that I wasn't going to get advice to do CC or similar
But really you'd just leave him to get on with it for almost 2 hours? I don't think I could!

Haven't read the books, but I don't do CC. I remember DD2 went through a similar little glitch at about the same age. Maybe not quite as much crying. Anyway, the phase didn't last long for her - no more than a few days. I hope it's the same for you. I still sit with her till she falls asleep and it takes about 2 minutes.

Why talking to him? Isn't that going to wake him up? or do you mean 'shh, shh, there there' kind of talking?

That would be nice SJ!
Maktaitai yes I mean soothing words not general chit chat!

He obviously needs you there for some reason...has he got any major developmental things going on?

What about lying down with him? Could it be the dark he doesn't like?

DD finds music and gentle singing quite soothing.

Um...trying to think of other ideas...

I think it's just something you'll need to ride out with him. Something is obviously bothering him when it comes to going to sleep, you just need to be there for him and try and understand.

Could he be getting molars? Hard to sleep and settle with teething pain.

This happened a bit with our 18 mnth old. I put on v dim lights, classical calm music/ lullabies and sat and read my book while his crying went from wails to wimpers.

Teeth and bit of poorliness were the reasons i think. Plus, more mental energy now.

Bit of paracetamol or ibuprofen if his hands in his mouth and he's in pain?

Sorry only just got time to log on as been out tonight. But in true fashion as soon as I post on MN about a problem and people helpfully suggest solutions and it fixes itself!
DS went to sleep with a little whimper and that was it which is the norm.

Thank you for all your suggestions, have no idea what it was that upset him. He's got all his teeth, has music and soft light and a good routine at bedtime so no surprises to upset him. Who knows?!