Very sensitive DD - I feel I am getting it all wrong with her.

[peggotty]

She is nearly 6, a very sensitive little girl and I feel like I am a shit parent as I really lack patience with her. She is freaked out by loads of things that most other children wouldn't bat an eyelid about. She's very reluctant to try new things or go anywhere different. I'm so scared she going to grow up to be anxious and inhibited. Part of it is my fault as I'm not a consistent mum - sometimes I can be patient and explain things to her and other times I'm shouty and horrible. I am terrified she will grow up with low self esteem yet the way I am with her is probably going to contribute to just that.

I have the book 'The Highly Sensitive Child' but I just can't get on with it, it seems a bit airy-fairy to me and not that practical. Does anyone have any more advice on how I can help her?

I was like this for a while as a child, but in my case I think it was a phase that was a reaction to a big upheaval - parents divorcing and then moving half way across the country away from friends and everything familiar. I developed all sorts of bizarre phobias and behaviours, which I'm sure drove my mum up the wall and she must have been very patient. When I felt more settled again, things gradually improved, though I've always been an introverted type. You don't say if there have been any changes in your daughter's life that might have unsettled her, but sometimes just small things can make children feel insecure. Wondering as well, if you have a partner, if they're supporting you and can help out more when everything's getting to the point where you're feeling shouty? All that I can suggest for the moment is helping your daughter find things that she enjoys doing, that will make her feel good about herself - something quiet she can do on her own or with a friend, like art and craft, writing, or looking after a pet, where there's no pressure to cope with lots of other children but she can enjoy herself in her own way.