Put baby in own room at 6 weeks - ? bad parent ? anyone else?

[polar515]

We've put our 6 week old DS in his own room the last few nights following his very loud grunting keeping us awake before this.

We don't have a monitor as the room is literally next door to ours and shares a wall, so I wake when he cries for feeding etc every time. If we did have the monitor on it would come through in stereo - through the wall and speaker.

He still wakes around every 2 hours.

I do not want a breathing monitor as I feel this would cause me to be more anxious.

I found, when he was next to me in our bedroom, I was very anxious all night, listening to every sound and whether he was about to wake, especially when grunting. Now I get much more sleep (between every 2 hour get up) and only seem to wake when he cries, which I presume are the times he actually needs me?

So, all seems well? Apart from I feel really guilty and as though I am missing something major of why to have him in with us. I know it's recommended for cot death reasons, but I feel that if something was going to happen, the likelihood of being able to prevent it / you waking up any more if you were in the same room is slim.

• in his own room has his mobile which I can put on for him, white noise, feeding chair etc.

I feel so guilty and bad, I am making sure I don't mention it to friends / at the groups I have been attending.

Any one else put their child in their own room from an early age?

a lot of people seem to see parental sleep as a 'luxury' and feel that we should all just 'suck it up' but yes, as somebody said, tiredness kills... and it can make you frankly unsafe to drive and open to all kinds of household accidents with fire, electricity, water and knives.

if YOU decide that you and your baby are more safe with this bit of extra sleep then that is YOUR decision to balance with the SIDS information.

I was absolutely determined that my kids would never watch TV until I had a toddler who refused to sleep in his own bed, wouldn't sleep till 9 and woke at 5.

Which is to say, parenting is a lot to do with survival. He sleeps now at 2 from 6.30pm to 7am, in his own bed, and is slightly in advance of developmental targets according to my hv. Plus can count to ten and read to ten thanks to Numberjacks, so the evil telly seems not to have scarred him for life.

Motherhood is not always about what you should do. It is about what you can stand. Severe sleep deprivation is a major trigger for depression, and a depressed mother struggles to parent well. If you really can't sleep with your baby in the room, then you're doing the right thing making other arrangements. You care, you're reading the info, only you can make that call.

I wish I'd had the confidence to know that it was okay to ignore The Rules if they threatened my sanity before my first was born. That year might not have been utter hell.

I think you all will be fine, but the logic (and I may be wrong here so please check yourself) is having baby in same room as you for first 6 months is so baby can hear/feel you breathe and regulate her own breathing. Helps prevent SIDS. My DD not only grunted away but also used to slam her legs up and down in her sleep. I waited the 6 months out and was relieved when we finally put her in her own room!!

in her own room at about 3 months my DH snores so was waking her up, i've learnt to sleep through it, she was sleeping through from 11-6 at 8 weeks then started waking again about 4.3-=5 put her in own room slept from 11-7 regularly and now from 8-7.

we did use monitor thuogh as my hearing is quite bad and would never hear her without it old house big stone walls not plasterboard

when I was a baby my mom says everyone tried to put baby in own/separate room asap as then they thought sleeping though occured at 6 6 weeks!!!!!

but do not feel guilty about doing What is right for everyone, more accidents caused by tired drivers than drunk ones, If you or DP work at some jobs like flying planes a surgeon you really can not do these things when sleep deprived so sometimes other things are important too, advice is just that advice not law

my spelling and grammar seem to have gone AWOL sorry

the only person who can tell you if it is the right thing is you.
it doesn't matter what other people have done at all. for generations babies slept int he same bed as the rest of the family then times changed and they were all in separate rooms, then the advice changes again with the knowledge we have at the time.

Go with your heart, if you feel it is ok for you then do it, if you feel you shouldn't be doing it then don't.

FWIW we moved the boys into their own rooms at about 6 weeks, I am and was totally happy with that decision, I never waivered, which is what makes me feel that you need to be happy with your decision and if you are posting on here it may suggest you aren't.

I agree that it is your decision to make.

Personally I would not do this - not ever. I have 4 DC from 9 years to 12 weeks and they have all slept in bed with me and DH for the first few months (bug bed mind you)and then in a cot next to us and then into their own rooms.

They are all great sleepers now (in fact always have been and are in bed as I type)and went into their own rooms with no problems at about 1.5 or so - clearly I ignored the 'rod for my own back' crowd. It was absolutely the right thing for our family _ I could not ear them to be in another room no matter how close.

Don't feel guilty. Do whatever you want to do-the baby will be fine. There isn't a superior method-just what is best for you as a family. We had own rooms because DH is a light sleeper and can't get back once woken.