How do you do Unconditional Parenting when you need young DC to stop doing something immediately?

[WildhoodChunder]

DS is nearly 3 weeks, DD nearly 2 - bfing DS so can't always intervene physically with DD unless it's drastic - relying on talking to her to control behaviour... Dinnertime last night, DS on breast, DD will not stay at table, starts running around trying to draw on things with her super-staining spag-bol sauce covered spoon, isn't listening to me explaining/asking not to. I cracked and used Angry Mummy voice - "DD. STOP THAT. NOW!" - which sort of worked, but isn't really the UP way and not how I want to raise my DCs - although with two I can see UP being much harder to sustain. What should I have done?

I don't think there is anything wrong wiith telling children to stop doing something now. I find uncon parenting quite unrealistic in some instances.

I'm not that familiar with UP - is there a key book to read?

Also,I am interested in theory, but this comment (posted a few pages back on this thread) resonates with me:

'I must admit, I don't really understand the link between unconditional love and not punishing. I always knew as a child that my parents loved me unconditionally - they told me and demonstrated it in so many ways. But I also knew that there were some things I shouldn't do, and if I did, I would be punished in some way (yelled at, taken home, etc). I never thought that being punished meant I wasn't loved.'

Any reply to this? I've read that authoritative parenting (not authoritarian) - i.e. loads of love and v firm boundaries - is usually the best thing for the child. But maybe this is what UP is?

To the OP - sounds like you're doing a great job in a v difficult situation :)

In that situation, there isn't a lot else you could have done in the heat of the moment. You tried reasoning before you used your stern voice and you have reflected on whether you could have handled it better.

The only thing I can think of is that if you really want to avoid shouting, you could try doing something a bit silly like bursting into song which can result in distracting a little one who is doing something annoying but not dangerous.

But that kind of thing requires a lot of energy which I doubt you have much of at the moment!
Good luck!