Just had to write this one down, a very big challenge to keep a straight face throughout!
Tonight ds (4.7) was badly behaved and lost out on having bedtime stories as a result. Cue a massive screaming tantrum/reasoned argument (in his mind) as to why he should have stories reinstated:
(all shouted at top of voice while crying and throwing himself around the room) ds: I am allergic to not having stories mummy. It makes me sick if I don't have them. I'm very allergic. Me: well stories are not on offer now but you can have a cuddle and get into bed. ds: I am allergic to cuddles too. They make me sick too. I'm only not allergic to cuddles when I have them in the morning. I need a story otherwise I'll be sick, I've got a headache already and it's not even because of all the shouting. (I sit there quietly waiting for him to calm down) What are you mummy, some kind of little old lady who can't hear what little boys are saying? No, you are a mummy and it's your job to listen to what I have to say and give me stories when i need them. That's your job, have you forgotten it?
(dh takes over for a sec while I give dd a kiss) ds: I want to speak to mummy about my stories, its important that I speak to mummy now. You must get out of my way now daddy, otherwise I will be sick on you. What would you do daddy if I just pushed you out of the way to get to mummy? Would you let me have a story then? What do you want me to do then? Do you want me to push you out of the way? Do you want me to be sick on you?
Sometimes you just have to laugh!!