when do terrible 2s get less terrible?

[upsylazy]

DS2(2 and 6 mos)is driving me and DH to utter distraction. A typical conversation goes on the lines of, ME: "Do you want some breakfast?" DS2: "NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
1 minute later, DS2 "WANT BREAKFAST!!!!!!!"
Me: "OK darling, do you want weetabix or rice krispies?" DS2:"Rice KRISPIES (scowls).
I put rice krispies in a bowl and put them in front of him. DS2 "WANT WEETABIX!!!!!!!" (throws rice krispies on floor) and then lies on floor screaming for 30 mins.When he calms down and i try to give him a cuddle, he tells me to go away. He will frequently tip his toy box over so that everything goes on the floor and will give you a knowing look while doing it. If i ask him to tidy it away, I get the full pitch "NOOOOOOOOOOOOH!) and he then hurls a toy at the wall. Of course, he's not always like this and can be cute and gorgeous in the way that only toddlers can be but it's getting seriously wearing. DS1 (now age 10 and delightful) was actually worse but, as I 've blocked most of it out of mt ind as was so traumatic, I can't remember when it started to get better. Please tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Stop asking questions. Say that it's breakfast time and give her the breakfast.

My twins are three in January and they do try similar behaviour. At breakfast they frequently get the bowl of cereal they have asked for, only to say that actually they wanted something else. They don't get something else ever though. So they eat it, or they go without cereal. They do get toast though (generally all three have cereal and then toast).

Likewise with the toys, if they don't tidy up the mess they have made, or at least help, then they don't get any television, or whatever it is they are really wanting.

It is generally working on those two particular problems. They do have huge screaming tantrums about life in general though. I try to ignore them. Sometimes it is impossible though...

I was like that with my twins as well Egg. No other way would of worked. I used to get down on the floor and pretend tantrum with the one having a paddy which amused the other one immensely and generally we all ended up laughing. I miss those days...

Haha I do that too! I do impressions of them! It makes DS1 laugh. I also "gang up" with the other two and get them to laugh at the one having the tantrum and remind them how silly they look.

That reminds me I suppose I ought to collect them from pre-school...

BTW upsy, if mine hurl a toy at the wall the toy is gone for a day or two (or sometimes longer if I forget about it!).

About age 5 in our case. They still try it though. But they do understand the word no now (after many years of training).

about 21 I think

my 15 yo could put a 2 yo to shame...

I feel like my 2 yo saves this sort of behaviour up for when anyone else is watching us. He is perfection for his cm (of course ). But loooooves to kick off when in a crowded car park and I want him in his carseat or in middle of a shop.

BAFTA winning toddlers - sigh. I have one of those. And when the banana broke whilst he ate it the world ended. Over and over again.

Remove options. They cotton on to X or nothing for breakfast very quickly. Smile sweetly whilst saying "X or nothing."

Starts to get better gradually. Definately better at three. The memory is fading at three and a half, by which time one is usually silly enough to be starting the process all over again with number two, sob.

Oh yes. A piece of food breaks while eating and the world ends... Very familiar.

1. Definite improvement at 5.

ah, you see the mistake you are making is offering choices......

I thought you were meant to offer choices? Damn it! This is too confusing!

Well StarExpat, it is a choice - the breakfast given or nothing :)

Choices are for you. Red or white wine? Chocolate or biscuits?

Being serious, my son didn't "cope" with choices like what to have for breakfast at that age, he wanted both, one and none all at the same time. It probably depends on the child, but when they give you a morning like you are getting I switch to a dictatorship in my house.

I saw the nursery staff do a fantastic job of choices. Do you want X or Y? When no answer within 15 seconds they decided for the child and moved onto the next thing. It worked amazingly, but I suspected in my house there would be a tantruming toddler on the floor when I made the decision for him, so I admired from afar.

I offer some choices now (such as breakfast cereal) but he wasn't up for it until about three.

All my kids were great at two (I remember in my -ignorance- innocence thinking the terrible 2s were a myth ) hell on earth at three, reasonably civilized at 4. The threenage years got me every time though.

At 2yrs 5mo, my DD gets no choices from me. I state matter-of-factly that it's time to get dressed and simply pick her up and get her dressed (or simply put her breakfast in front of her, or any other activity eg "Right, let's tidy up now.") I still get tantrums but not as many as my DH gets as he's in the habit of adding a ? at the end of every sentence with her eg "Shall we get dressed" "Let's change your nappy, shall we?" "Do you want Cheerios for breakfast?" He can get some awful tantrums from her when he gives her choices or asks her something!