How to advise DH?

[pinkhyena]

DH got a bit upset last night because it seems that whenever he gives our 3 week old DS a night feed or puts him to bed he just can't settle him and he'll be awake for a good couple of hours. DS doesn't really cry, he is just very alert but when I feed him he usually settles again straight away (he does sometimes keep me up for hours though).

DH asked me what he was doing wrong but I honestly don't know! He seems to do pretty much the same as me so I really don't know what to say to him. Has anyone else had similar? I don't want it to get to the point where he starts refusing to do night feeds etc but I can see why he's getting disheartened.

He isn't doing anything wrong

Many 3 week olds are difficult to settle regardless

It is a rare baby will feed and then simply drift off to sleep wihtout swaddling, rocking a dummy etc

Perhaps it is the different 'smell' that makes him restless - has he tried using a muslin or some other thing that has 'your' smell on it??

I suggested he draped one of my tshirts over him when he puts him to bed and he looked at me like I was a bit weird lol! I think he just needed some reassurance because he seemed very grateful when I told him he was doing a fantastic job as a dad. People do seem to forget about dads in that sense

Are you the main carer?
My DD doesn't settle as quickly with my DH as with me either. I think its because she seems to find him more interesting. She gets to see me all day, so when Daddy is home he is much more fun to look at!
Then she gets a bit over-tired which makes it more difficult anyway.
Plus you know they're calmer if you're calm, so if he gets stresses DC get stressed etc. Your DH is probably trying so hard to do it 'right' that he's not relaxing and enjoying your DS. Just smile and say you love watching him with your DS because he is such a great dad to be so involved, they'll both soon relax.