Only girl in the school with unpierced ears

[pinkydinky2]

We currently live in South America and our 3 year old is at preschool (very formal education system here so it's just like school). Here it's common practice for baby girls to have their ears pierced just after birth. Apparently it doesn't hurt and is a way to dostinguish baby girls from baby boys.

Anyway, I'm not really a fan of children having pierced ears, at least til they're teenagers, certainly not for 3 year olds but dd keep s asking why she doesn't have holes. I caught her the other day trying to push some earings (that she'd been given by another child) through her ears.

Any advice on how we might survive the next 10 years without pierced ears?

Isn't it like any other parenting situation? You make the choices for your own situation. "I'm not the parent of other children, I'm your parent" or "If all the others jumped off a cliff, would you follow?" type stuff.

I agree in general with the "if eveyone else jumped over a cliff......." line.

However............!

I also think it's very important to fit in. My dd had her ears pierced earlier than I wanted her to because she was the only one in her class who didn't, and it was making her feel very left out. She was much older than 3, though.....

BTW, it does hurt. Not a lot, but enough so that with younger children they often try to have two pwoplw doing it so that they can do both at once, so the child doesn;t end up refusing to have the second one done!

Sorry,missed out a bit "very important to fit in, if the child wants to"

Feeling very left out. Very? Really?

The thing with children is that almost everything makes them feel left out, if they don't do it. As she grows up it might be not being able to sing, not being cool enough, not being sport enough, not being tall / short enough.

My DD keeps moaning that everyone has pierced ears. "Do you want a needle stuck through your ears?" No, is the usual answer

It's always a balancing act.

There are loads of ways that a child won't fir in that they can't do anything about. Sometimes I think it's a good idea to "give in" on things that you can. Ear piercing at 3 would probably be a step too far for me too - but I wouldn't completly rule it out. You have to remebber that you are making decisions not on your own behalf, but on behalf of someone else - and that person's wishes have to have some weight in the decision.

I wouldn't rule it out either, especially if you're going to be there for some time and won't be in the UK feeling like your daughter stands out for having pierced ears. I was at primary school in a very mixed-culture area and all the girls at school had pierced ears, so mine were done when I was 9. That's a lot earlier than I would be happy to let DD have hers done - I think you go with the flow, especially if she's trying to do it herself.

I'd go with the flow too. Let the lass fit in - when in Rome. She'll have them done in the end anyway - why make it an issue. Keep that for the nose stud and the tongue stud and the tattoos that she'll meet with back in the UK.