Thinking of Co-sleeping - some questions and advice (we have a soft mattress)

[moonstorm]

Have posted in sleep and chat and someone suggested posting here... Sorry for multiple posts...

I can't get ds (nearly 4 weeks) into his crib (next to the bed) at night - even if I sit for 40 minutes to make sure he is deep asleep, he wakes up after 30 minutes ish. We are shattered - the last 2 nights I have fallen asleep with ds in my arms while sitting up, this can't be safe. Yesterday he was in my left arm almost upside down with his head near the mattress... I have woken up as he has slipped off my shoulder and I have caught him).. Last night I looked at my clock at 2.15, then when I looked again, it was 5.30 - I have spent 2 nights just sitting holding him.

Pros to co sleep:
we might sleep (I co-slept with ds1, but not until 11 months)

cons:
We have a soft memory foam mattress and can't afford to buy another
Everyone says don't do it because of SIDS

What do they wear?? We have preferred blankets to gro-bags.

I have such a dilemma.

Thanks

i had similar situ with ds 1, what worked was swaddling in an organic cotton blanket from green baby. did end up co sleeping at about three months cos same as you was just falling asleep with him in my arms.
think memory foam matress could be a prom. try swadding in crib. also friend of mine could only get bay to sleep in crib if she warmed it first with a hot water bottle

We took the side off the cot and pushed it right to the side of the bed. All my babies have ended up in bed with me, on a fairly soft mattress. If you sleep so the baby is on the outside of the bed, then they can't get smothered under the duvet. I always slept so I was sort of on my side but leaning back slightly onto another pillow, with my arm stretched over the top of the babies head, but not touching it. There was no way I could have rolled onto them, and also, have read on here somewhere that when you bf and co-sleep, it changes the way you sleep so you are far more aware of your baby.

Only do it though if you feel comfortable with the idea. If you don't for any readon, persevere with swaddling etc.
Good luck!

Hi this might be a stupid idea but memory foam mattresses are only memory foam on the top generally so could you turn it upside down?

goodname I'll have a look!

Wish I could take the side off, but it holds the base on!!

We have a queen sized memory foam mattress (on the floor, due to ikea issues so can't be bothered to go and get a frame), and our little guy (now 12 weeks, slept with us from about 8 weeks when I put my foot down and said I wasn't getting up to sort him out in the cot any more).

The memory foam actually keeps him and us put in our places better - less roll-together (as a certain hippo/duck would say).

We have quite a warm bedroom being in a flat, so he often sleeps in nothing but his nappy, although if we've felt draughts he's gone into a sleep-suit (footed, long-sleeved thing).

He's a complete fidget when he's in any way uncomfortable, and I've found that I wake when he needs me anyway - whether he's sleeping between us, or just next to me.

But yes, only do this if you're both comfortable (although it's my partner that doesn't want to see him leave now - there's nothing like waking up to a warm, happy baby face)

I've co-slept with both my children (and for a few months both at once) and it can be done safely! Globally, co-sleeping is much more common than having an infant in a cot. I sleep in a long sleeved thick shirt and have the duvet under my arms and baby next to me on top of the duvet under blankets. My toddler just crawls in under the duvet when she joins us now! I worried about baby falling out of bed so I put the cot matress on the floor next to the bed to provide a soft landing. Though neither of mine have even falled from a bed so I think they do learn to stop at the edge. Don't co-sleep if you or your partner are drunk, taking medication (mention it to your doc if you need anything as some medication affects your sleep patterns) or smoking as these increase risks. It is a lovely way to bond with your child and my DD1 is pretty much sleeping through in her own bed now and I really miss her. I read somewhere that the baby regulates their breathing to yours if they are lieing next to you which can actually reduce the risk of SIDs. When I started co-sleeping I actually rang the SIDs helpline and they were very helpful.

I co-slept with dd from about 3 weeks onwards, I got too tired getting up each time for b/f and she got too tired to feed. Our mattress is firm though. We used a sheet and cotton bedspread. I had bedside cot on one side of bed but she only used it too play and refused to sleep in it. Bed guard on other sides of bed (including foot end) and dh was banned to spare bedroom so there was more space and bed less warm. Only then she started to feed much better and gain more weight as she was literally feeding whilst sleeping and although I didn't really sleep (more slumbering, i was very aware of her at all times, especially first few months), it did work better for us. Also kept room as cool as possible. I always woke up before she woke up, really odd. Anyway it worked for us, but agree with other posters, only do it if it feels right to you.

i am co sleeping with my ds he's 4 months now been doing it from when he was a few weeks and i didnt bf as i had major probs. BUT i know he's there, and he's always safe and not too hot. he sleeps next to me, im inbetween him and my partner. i always sleep on my side and he sleeps inside the curves my body makes. i wear a long sleeve top to bed, barely use the duvet. usually just put a cellular blanket (with holes in) over him coz our room is quite warm whether the heating is on or not. he is now nearly sleeping thru...does 9pm-4am then back down til about half 8...and my partner and i get sleep too. if i had another baby i wouldnt think twice about it and tbh im not sure why its so taboo to admit to it in real life. i love sharing my bed with my baby, its usually just me and him as my partner works nights so it has really worked for me doing the nights by myself. i got to the stage where the sleep deprivation was becoming horrific and i could feel myself slipping into extreme unhappiness and exhaustion. co sleeping has allowed me to feel more human.

good luck with what u decide to do!!