debate on sleep training

[benetint]

I wanted to post this on here rather than the sleep forum as I know its a controversial topic and I thought I'd get a wider range of responses.

I just wanted to know people's opinions on sleep training - is it ever okay, at any age?

Should we as parents accept that our job is to parent throughout the night as well as the day?

Is there ever a case for crying it out or controlled crying, or do you think it is psychologically damaging for any age of child?

Are there any gentler sleep training methods that really work? Or should we stop pushing for an impossible goal and just allow our youngsters to sleep through the night when they are biologically and emotionally ready...even if this isn't till 3 or 4 years of age?

Signed...tired and frustrated mum of every-half-hour-nightly-breastfeeding 15 month old

Sleep training encompasses such a wide range of practices that it's hard to have a single view on the concept as a whole.

We've never used anything that could be described as sleep training. This is partially because we haven't needed to. Our co-sleeping, BFing arrangement works well and usually 21 month old DD and I do get a full night's sleep.

Aside from the morality of it (which I'm sure others will comment on), I think that pure CIO for small babies is illogical and pointless, rather like trying to run software on a computer which is still in the process of being hardwired. But between this and our own totally laid back approach is a whole spectrum of different practices that may suit different families with different experiences of sleep patterns.

On the whole, I think that some people have unreasonable expectations of what a baby under 6 months should be doing in terms of sleep. With many acquaintances, I think that their babies would be fine if they just stopped clock-watching and fed on demand. They don't have a sleep problem, they have an expectation problem. I have no patience with parents who try to make their normal child fit a model from a popular book. When babies are otherwise normal, healthy and happy sleep training just seems like a waste of time, effort and emotion.

However, there are cases where older babies and toddlers have genuine problems falling asleep and staying asleep. Yes, I think there probably are sleep training methods out there which might help them. I've seen several people on these boards recommend sleep clinics and advisers who have helped them.